Hear me Sing! Or I'll cry songs of tragedy
by 372259
Summary: Rukia has a dark secret. Ichigo is losing the fight against his inner hollow. Karin makes a fatal mistake. Toshiro is willing to destroy his heart in order to protect. All the while, Urahara can only watch as his worst predictions come to fruition. IchigoxRukia Ichiruki & histuhina OR hitsukarin (reviewers choose!)
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer and A/N: I own nothing. Everything but the plot twists I've added belong to the mastermind that is Tite Kubo. If I owned Bleach, Ichiruki would have happened LONG ago. None of this is for profit, it's just for fun and to improve my writing skills. **

**(Full) Title: Here me Sing! Or I'll cry songs of horror, sacrifice, and tragedy…**

** (Full) Summary: [set after Ichigo loses his powers] Aizen is dead, Ichigo's hollow has remained within him, Hichigo is growing stronger, Rukia seemingly hates Ichigo, Tatsuki passed confused months ago, Soul Society has left Ichigo to fend for himself, Hueco Mundo is no longer a setting of the past, Karin has made a fatal mistake, Hinamori is haunted by the past, and Urahara can only watch as some of his worst predictions come to fruition. IchigoxRukia Ichiruki and possible hitsukarin OR hitsuhina later on (reviews will determine which pair). Rating is for language ONLY, I am way to much of a wimp to write lemons :P (Though there will be romance!) If I get a set number of reviews, I'll update once a week (or sooner!). **

**Pairings: Ichigo x Rukia (Ichiruki!) and possible hitsukarin OR hitsuhina later on (reviews will determine which). Maybe a side pairing of Chad/Tatsuki and Orihime/Ishida. **

**Rating: M - Note: Rating is for language ONLY. There are NO lemons, though there WILL be romance!**

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**There may be**

** an US in TRUST**

**But**

** there is also**

**an END in FRIEND**

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**Prologue****:**

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"Thank you…Rukia" Ichigo whispered her name into the air and smiled. Despite everything that had happened, he knew that he would see her again. He could feel their connection and was certain that, no matter what, she would always come back to him….

**1 month later **

...

Urahara waved his fan across his face slowly, and leaned his head forward in order to cover his eyes with his lurid pinstriped hat.

"Well, that was rather…cruel...wasn't it Rukia-chan?"

The girl turned, seeming irritated at having her actions judged.

"Would you rather I lie shopkeeper? I only told the boy the truth. He was the one who was so utterly blind he needed it spelled out for him. Now open the gate, I have wasted enough time as it is."

From lack of hearing the outer door of the Shoten close, both knew that Ichigo hadn't stormed out of the shop. Both were fully aware that he was listening from behind closed doors. Most likely, the boy was waiting right outside the room, optimistically hoping for an explanation or excuse or justification or _something_ to explain her earlier behaviour towards him.

Upon hearing said outer door slam close, Urahara sighed.

'_Well, he got it_.'

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**End of Prologue**

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**A/N: Tell me in a review if you guys would rather see hitsukarin romance or friendship! P.S. I LOVE reviews – even if it's just to tell me I made a spelling mistake!**

**I'll be putting up Chapter 1 by tomorrow, depending on whether or not you guys think I should!**


	2. Chapter 1: Aftermath

**Disclaimer and A/N:**** I own nothing. Everything but the plot twists I've added belong to the mastermind that is Tite Kubo. If I owned Bleach, Ichiruki would have happened LONG ago. None of this is for profit, it's just for fun and to improve my writing skills. **

**_PLEASE REVIEW_ ****so that each succeeding chapter is better than the previous :-) This will be an Ichi-ruki fic with a probable side pairing of Hitsukarin (**_**maybe**_**). If I do other pairings, it will most likely be orihime/ishida and chad/tatsuki but I'm not entirely sure yet. If you like a pairing ****message me**** and I'll see if I can squeeze it in! (-: **

**P.S. If anyone watches the show ****Supernatural****, check out my other fic titled ****FREAKS****! **

**P.P.S I edited the prologue to include the ****full summary****, I accidently deleted it the first time I posted it! **

**For this story, there are a few things I'm changing. One, Keigo and Tatsuki know absolutely nothing about Shinigami (anything they suspected, etc was erased from their minds with a memory modifier). Also, Karin and Yuzu are freshmen in high school (i.e. they are only three years younger than Ichigo). It won't make sense as to why I changed their age until later. Trust me, if I kept them the age they are now, it would be entirely too uncomfortable for me to write what happens to them later!**

**Also: **

_This means either a memory or something being emphasized when its spoken _

'_This is a thought' _

_This is something being emphasized in a memory _

_**This is Hichigo speaking (only Ichigo can hear him)**_

**Now, on with the story :D **

**(five reviews and I'll upload the next chapter!)**

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**There may be **

**an 'US' in 'TRUST'**

**But **

**there is also **

**an 'END' in 'FRIEND'**

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**Chapter 1: Aftermath**

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**16 months later **

Its funny, isn't it?

The things that you notice when you take the time to look around.

Ichigo Kurosaki had walked along the same path to and from his high school everyday for the past four years; yet, he had never noticed the small flower shop on the corner of the street behind the river.

Then again, he supposed that one could notice a lot of things when they weren't distracted by certain dark-haired…others.

Prior to meeting R…before Ichigo became a shinigami, he had lived with a guilt whose heavy burden had forced his head down while he walked. When he had finally awakened his powers, and the guilt receded (somewhat), he had been too busy staring at…he had been to busy looking out for hollows to notice any circumferential stores along the street.

Thus, he reasoned it was perfectly logical that he would not have noticed "Bay's Blooms" until a walk back home during the middle of his senior year.

Checking his watch, he realized that he still had a few minutes until Yuzu expected him to be home for dinner. Despite being completely exhausted from soccer practice, he found himself venturing into the old store. He absentmindedly wondered if _she_ liked flowers—

'_No. Stop.'_

He shook his head and tried to clear his mind of those dangerous thoughts. He had tried so hard to forget _her_ after their last meeting-to erase his mind of her _completely_.

In an attempt to do so, he had dove into his studies. His marks were better than ever. In fact, at this point, he was right below Ishida in class rankings (a feat that his father praised but Keigo cried about daily).

Ichigo's grip on his bag tightened considerably upon thinking about Keigo. That boy had strongly tested Ichigo's newly found patience early today.

"_Hey! Hey Ichigo! Would you answer me already! Man, you've been in a fouler mood than ever this past year!" Keigo looked down to the desk to see that Ichigo was still writing in his notebook and paying no attention to his friend's rambling. _

_Tatsuki, who had overheard Keigo's spiel, was fast to (surprisingly) support him. "And that's when you even show emotions at all Ichigo." She gazed at her old friend with worried eyes and continued in a lower voice, "Ichigo, you've been acting like a robot and more people than just Keigo and I have noticed. I know that Karin and Yuzu are worried about how much you've changed."_

_Ichigo (surprise surprise) just continued writing in his book whilst sitting in his desk and chose to ignore the concerns of his friends. Despite his outward calm, in his head, he was fervently hoping class would start soon. He was also making numerous mental notes to never come early to class again. Dealing with everyone…it was too freaking tiring._

_While Ichigo remained in his thoughts, Keigo suddenly looked as if he had made a brilliant discovery. Unfortunately, to the horror of the three war veterans surrounding the orange-haired boy, he spoke his thoughts. _

"_You know what! This is all began when Rukia-chan left. Yup! That's it! You miss her don't you! Oh Ichigo that's _so_ sweet! Say, when is she getting back from her trip?" _

_Ichigo abruptly stopped writing. _

_The three friends that were sitting in their desks, watching Keigo and Tatsuki stand by Ichigo's, froze in apprehension. _

"_She told you she was leaving on a 'trip'?" He looked up at Keigo before returning his gaze to his (long ago completed) homework and sneered. "Well, I guess she always could be a cruel bitch when she wanted to be…"_

_Orihime gasped at his words and Ishida groaned. 'This is going to be bad.'_

_Chad uncharacteristically spoke in a futile attempt to stop his friend from doing something he knew Ichigo would regret later, "Ichigo—" _

_Ichigo ignored his long time friend and continued talking. However, it seemed as if the morose teen was no longer just talking to Keigo. All the while, he managed to keep a scarily un-Ichigo-like neutral tone. _

"_A 'trip' implies she'll return…that she'll come back. She's intentionally making you wait, making you pine for her…while she's __laughing__ at your sheer stupidity for even thinking for a second that she cared enough about you to come back. She __laughing__ at the fact that your blind to what was really going on. But, you want to know what makes her __convulse__ in fucking laughter? The fact that you think she cared about you __at all__."_

_Keigo looked completely dumbfounded at his friend's bitter speech but was saved from having to formulate a response when Ochi-sensei walked into the room and demanded that the class settle down and that Asano got back in his seat before she stuck him in detention for the remainder of his high school career. _

_All the while, Tatsuki was staring in confusion at the pitying looks sent towards Ichigo by Orihime and Chad, and the angered countenance of Ishida. As class started, she was left wondering, yet again, what it was that everyone seemed to be keeping from her. _

_Ichigo remained in his desk for a good three minutes before leaving the classroom. He gave his sensei some perfunctory excuse about food poisoning before letting the door slam behind him._

After spending last period in the library due to the prying of his so-called friends, Ichigo went to soccer practice (yet another pitiful attempt at a distraction), and was now on his way home.

Well, more accurately, he was first making a quick detour at the flower place.

Upon entering the shop, he noticed an elderly lady attempting to water a plant that was a good foot too high for her. Seeing her distress, Ichigo sighed softly and went to assist her, worrying that if he left her be she might fall off her stool.

He acknowledged the fact that he had 'changed' (as Tatsuki has put it) over the past 16 months. He had become colder, politer, pushed some people away, and essentially became a prick so grand that even Kuchiki Byakuya would approve of his new attitude. Ichigo scoffed at the errant thought. He detested being anything like the aforementioned stoic stick in the mud.

He was saved from his thoughts by the soft voice of the shop's matron expressing her gratitude at his assistance.

"Why thank you young man! My grandson always seems to forget our slight height difference when he helps out and hangs some of my flowers!" Her laugh lines came to life as she recounted the antics of her grandson and Ichigo was a bit surprised that she didn't immediately start ignoring him when she turned to see his "rebellious" hair.

Taking his stunned silence as a cue to continue talking, the gray-haired woman started padding about the shop.

"You know it really is hard to find youth that respect their elders these…"

Ichigo unconsciously tuned out her friendly voice as he began to look around at the variety of colours decorating the shop.

His eyes found blues and yellows, pinks and reds, as well as some purples and whites. As his gaze wondered further, he spotted one specific anomaly in the corner. Walking up to it, he bent down and stared at the plant's strange colouring. The flower looked as if it was once pure white, but as it grew, the edges had become tainted with a deep red. There was a horrific aspect to it that disturbed Ichigo deeply.

He was so engrossed in the strange design of the flower's numerous petals, that he hadn't noticed the woman coming up behind him. Thus, he was slightly startled when she started speaking from behind his shoulder.

"…They say we are attracted to the flowers that most remind us of ourselves. Did you know that each flower has a meaning: a story behind it? They all have the power to convey messages, and they give us a way to share those messages to others without taking the risk of speaking ourselves."

Interested in her words, Ichigo turned to face the old woman. Sensing his attentiveness, the woman continued.

"…When you think about it, flowers really are the safe way to go. If the recipient doesn't reciprocate your sentiments, you can always claim ignorance. You can always pretend that you didn't know what the flower had meant."

Curiosity piqued, Ichigo couldn't help but ask, "What's the meaning behind this one?"As he questioned her, he pointed to the bloom with the wild nature-the one that had somehow attracted him all the way from the other end of the shop.

Her eyes seemed to sadden and Ichigo immediately regretted asking. He could already tell he wasn't going to like her answer.

Ignorant of his change in thoughts, the elderly woman replied in earnest. "Oh, you've picked out a tragic one haven't you…it's a stripped carnation. Unlike its bright brothers and shimmering sisters, it carries with it a sad story…"

The woman seemed to be caught up in her thoughts, but Ichigo was too preoccupied with his own to notice her rather long pause.

"…It shares a message of rejection. It whispers of a love, although strong, being severed painfully before it could flourish into the masterpeice it would have grown to become. It is a refusal; it tells its recipient 'No'... As for it's message... it cries: 'sorry, I cannot be with you…"

Ichigo was slightly angered and disappointed at the flower's meaning and hastily turned his head to examine the other ones.

"…but I wish I could."

Ichigo's breath hitched as she finished her response. Eerily disturbed, he quickly pointed to a random assortment far away from the stripped carnation's sharp teeth, and asked to purchase it.

The elderly woman smiled sadly at the boy, and said that this purchase "was on her", as long as he promised to visit her once in a while.

"It's so hard to find youth who are interested in their stories" she had reasoned.

Ichigo thanked her and walked out of the shop as fast as he could. His pace increased by the second, as did his ire.

'_Fuck her. She will never leave. She'll always hover around me. She'll always be everywhere I look, everywhere I go, and she knows it.'_

In anger, he threw the flowers harshly into the river adjacent the street.

With empty eyes, he watched as the vivid colours of the petals were consumed by the dark fingers of the frigid water.

'_That sick, twisted bitch.'_

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**End of Chapter 1**

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**A/N: Sorry for the short first two chaps, the next ones will be longer! I just needed to set the mood and describe some of what's been going on. **

**Review**** with any ideas, comments, questions, concerns, spelling mistakes !**

**Also, tell me in a review if you guys would rather see ****hitsuhina**** or ****hitsukarin**** later on!**

**If I get ****five reviews****, I'll post the next chapter! **

**Coming soon! :**

**The resoluteness in his eyes scared Ichigo. With that maniacal gleam still glowing off the being's twisted smirk, Ichigo watched in apprehension as the negative version of himself spoke._ "King, I'm getting stronger. Soon, it'll be me sitting atop the throne. And when I do, you will _****never**_**get it back…"**_

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	3. Chapter 2: Linger

**Disclaimer and A/N:**** I own nothing. Everything but the plot twists I've added belong to the mastermind that is Tite Kubo. If I owned Bleach, Ichiruki would have happened LONG ago. None of this is for profit, it's just for fun and to improve my writing skills. **

**PLEASE REVIEW ****so that each succeeding chapter is better than the previous :-) I'm done the next chap and will post it ****ONLY**** if I get ****FIVE**** more reviews!**

**P.S. If anyone watches the show ****Supernatural****, check out my other fic titled ****FREAKS****! **

**Oh guys, I'm actually getting so excited about writing this story! I even made a PLAN. The underlying plot hasn't even started yet (all of this is basically set up for it) but boy oh boy are you guys gonna be surprised at how messed up the plot bunnies in my head are ! **

_**Special Thank you to:**_

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_**3Rukiakurosaki3**_

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_**Ultimate Black Ace**_

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_**Adamxero**_

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_**The romantic insanity**_

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_**And crystal!**_

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**I love my reviewers! You guys are the ****sole reason**** this chapter is up!**

**Now on with the story :D !**

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"**Cause when you're in too deep **

**you wake up when it's too late,**

**You've fallen in love in the **_**worst**_** way**

**And if you don't go now then you'll stay**

**Cause I'll **_**never**_** let you leave" **

**~ "Walk Away" by the Script ft. B.O.B **

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**Chapter 2: Linger**

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As soon as Ichigo processed what he had just done, he cursed his impulsiveness. He had been training himself to keep his emotions in check for over a year. By now, he knew better than to let them take control of his actions.

Whenever he lost control, he tended to do very stupid things.

He had originally gone into the shop to fulfill a purpose, a purpose which was rendered moot if he didn't come home with flowers.

Annoyed at himself, he returned the store and purchased another assortment.

When the confused owner, he assumed her name was Bay from the store's name, asked as to what he had done with the previous arrangement, he really had nothing to tell her.

When faced with his silence and downcast eyes, she gave him a look of understanding and happily gave him another set of flowers.

Despite her protests that he could take this new set for free like he had the other, Ichigo was adamant about paying for them this time. After purchasing the new, colorful assortment, a quick glance at his watch told him that he was late.

Upon entering the house, he had expected the usual antics courtesy of his idiotic father. If anything, Ichigo expected an extra dose of idiocy due to his lateness. So, he was surprised to find that he was able to enter the house without any attempts made to kick, punch, hit, or trip him.

Seeing his confusion, Karin (who was currently lounging on the couch in front of the TV) answered he unasked question by informing her older brother that their father had left for a medical conference and would be gone for a few days.

Ichigo sighed in relief and placed the assortment on the table. It was meant as a gesture of goodwill (of sorts) to his sisters. He knew he hadn't been the most agreeable lately and he hated that they had been affected by it. Despite what his friends believed, he had heard what they were saying…he just really didn't care about anything they said other than Tatsuki's worries about his sisters.

As Yuzu approached the table with dinner, she saw the flowers and squealed in delight.

"Oh Ichi-nii they're so pretty! I need to get some water for them!"

True to her word, after placing dinner on the table, the petite brunette raced back to the sink with a vase in hand.

Ichigo sighed for the umpteenth time that day and was just about to make his way upstairs when Yuzu returned to the table.

With her big doe eyes, she pleaded for him to eat dinner with her and Karin.

Ichigo's resolve really didn't stand a chance when faced with the imploring, wide eyes of his younger sister. So, he pulled out one of the table's chairs and sat.

As Yuzu and Karin conversed, Ichigo found himself lost in his thoughts once more (a rather rude habit he had adopted). When he was younger, his dad would often go on medical conventions and such. Thus, dinners that were composed of just the three siblings weren't an uncommon occurrence. In fact, at the time, it had been normal.

However, now it felt wrong, like something was missing.

It seems Yuzu noticed too, because she frowned in confusion as she ended the conversation with her twin and turned a question to her older brother.

"Ichi-nii, I know-I know you might not want to talk about it…But, I can't help but be a little curious…did you and Rukia-neesan get into a fight?"

As soon as she finished her inquiry, Ichigo stopped eating his pasta and just stared at his plate.

Everybody around him had refrained from mentioning _her_ for over a year. Apparently, they had all decided that today was the day to break that trend and say her name as much as possible.

Karin, on the other hand, went wide-eyed at the question and tried every inconspicuous way she could think of to tell her well-meaning sister to _shut it_.

Regrettably, Yuzu, adorable as ever, was too busy looking at her brother (with the same innocent eyes that had forced him to eat dinner with his sisters) for his answer to notice the signals sent her way by Karin.

"…I mean, she used to come around here so much. She was here everyday. I miss her, and…I think you might too sometimes. Do you think there's any chance that she might be coming ba—"

"No."

His voice was flat and Yuzu flinched at the tone. Finally looking in her twin's direction, Yuzu immediately understood the silent signals sent by Karin, and quickly tried to change the topic. Unfortunately, Ichigo continued speaking before she could.

"…She isn't coming back so get use to it Yuzu. Rukia's. Never. Coming. Back. She has…she has more important things to do with her time." Ichigo's grip on his fork was so tight it was skewing the piece of metal into a demented version of its former pristine shape. His knuckles were turning white from the effort to keep his voice calm. As if realizing just who he was talking to and what he had said to them, Ichigo apologized and excused himself.

As Ichigo walked up the stairs, he was unaware of the worried glances shared by his two sisters.

That had been the first time in over a year that he had actually sat at the table with them for dinner.

That had also been the first time in over a year he had spoken her name out loud.

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Upon locking the door and confining himself to his room, Ichigo immediately dropped onto his bed and groaned into his pillow. He was "blowing up" at everyone today. He really didn't understand why he was becoming so…unstable all of a sudden. Although he was able to control his volume, words just kept spilling from him. He had kept up the calm, unshakeable façade for over a year, and all it took was the mentioning of Ru-of _her_ name to screw him up.

He resolved that he needed to get to sleep. Tomorrow, he would start fresh.

'_Tomorrow, I'm was going to stop thinking about her completely.' _

After processing his thought, he scoffed at his stupidity.

Isn't that the same thing he promised himself every night?

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Have you ever experienced a dream, where you know you're dreaming, but no matter how hard you try, you can't wake up? That was the situation that Ichigo currently found himself in as he gazed at his surroundings.

As his eyes scanned his environment (in the strategic way only experienced soldiers could), he slowly realized exactly which memory his subconscious had chosen to dangle in front of him tonight.

He recognized the location: He was standing inside of Hat-N-Clogs' Shoten.

He recognized the boy in front of him: It was himself, 16 months ago.

He also recognized the girl: It was Rukia, 16 months ago.

He felt his guts twist in apprehension as he watched his younger self leave one of the many rooms within the Shoten. His intestines coiled even more as he watched the naïve boy notice the girl as she was about to make her way inside of the room he has just exited.

His subconscious was cruel.

This was the first time that his younger self had laid eyes on her since he had lost his powers the month prior. She was in her gigai and was entering Urahara's place in order to use the Senkaimon to return to the Soul Society. Even though he had been certain that she was probably in the Human World for a mission, there had still been an overly large part of him that wished her return was due to someon-something else.

He had been a naïve fool back then.

He watched as his ignorant younger self tried to ask the girl as to what had prompted her "return". He continued to watch as she ignored him and walked straight by him without so much as looking at him.

Ichigo felt his hands form tight fists and every muscle in his body tense as he watched the scene he knew all too well play out in front of him.

All the while, he urged himself to wake up.

"_Wha-Rukia! Hey, Rukia! Wait up!"_

_The boy grabbed the girl's arm to turn her to face him. _

"_Hey, midget! Why aren't you answering me?"_

_The girl's eyes looked partially annoyed as she finally acknowledged him. _

"_Oh, it's you."_

_Confused at her sharp tone, the boy responded in slight puzzlement, "Yah, it's me"._

_Silence joined the duo for a few minutes before the girl tried to walk away, and the boy voice his objection. Young Ichigo refused to let her go and his hold on her remained firm. _

_His voice was laced with worry as he asked her, "Rukia, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" _

Before he was forced to once again hear the girl's response, Ichigo finally wrenched himself awake.

Bringing his hands in front of his body, he realized that he was still breathing heavy and sweating profusely.

Grabbing his pillow, he threw harshly to the other end of his room

Seeing her every night was driving him _insane_.

He sluggishly got out of bed and walked out of his room to the bathroom sink. After washing his face roughly with cold water, he dried it and gripped the rim of the sink. He slowly lifted his face in order to see his reflection.

He lurched backwards as he came face to face with a visage similar to, but not, his own.

"_**Dreaming about Queen again, King?" **_

Counting to ten in his head, Ichigo breathed in deeply and left the bathroom. He couldn't risk breaking the mirror (again).

Unfortunately, even though the visual was gone, the voice still followed.

"_**Aww, do you missss her King?"**_ The voice began his daily taunts, and Ichigo growled in annoyance.

After he had given up his powers, he had assumed his hollow would disappear as well. And the wretched being did…for a month.

When he first returned, Ichigo had been washing his face and getting ready for school. He had briefly seen the hollow's face in lieu of his in the mirror. Since the switch had only been for a second, at most, he had assumed it was just his mind playing tricks on him.

Regrettably, that was not the case.

Apparently, since he could no longer access his inner world, he could only see his hollow self ("Hichigo", according to the being) in reflections. And recently, he had not only been seeing the monster more, but he had also been _hearing _it as well.

Ichigo had told Urahara what was going on, and the shopkeeper had replied (vaguely as always) that he would "look into it".

That had been over a year ago.

"_**How **__**pathetic **__**King. You still want her by your side even after she **__**abandoned**__** you? What a fool I serve—" **_

'_Shut up!' _

He could feel the creature smile in the back of his mind, and it was the most unsettling feeling he had ever had the displeasure to experience.

"**Does it hurt King, to remember her? To remember how she left you…after everything that you did for her? After everything that **_**we **_**did for her?"**

Ichigo brought his hands up to his ears in a weak attempt to stop hearing that skewed voice.

"**Awwweee poor, poor Kingy. And we put in so much to save her! Do you remember King? The hours you spent training so hard that you couldn't even feel the pain anymore? The days you spent forcing yourself to fight, to get stronger, and all to protect that ungrateful bitch! Well I do King, and trust me, when I get out I'll make certain that I get our reward" **

At this point, the creature's voice morphed from its playful sing-song to a deadly serious tone.

"**I'm getting stronger King. Soon, it'll be me sitting atop the throne. And when I do…you...will **_**never…**_**get it…back…"**

As the voice died out, Ichigo sighed in relief. He was angry. He was angry at himself and at his own weakness. Without his powers, he was totally defenseless against his hollow.

'_Defenseless…"_

He grabbed his pillow from where it had landed earlier and threw back onto his bed in frustration.

'_I __hate__ that word'_

He was angry. The whole reason he had initially created his stoic façade was to cover up his anger at the defenseless weakling he had become.

He was, once more, someone that would need to be protected…

But, who was he kidding? The anger he felt, that he was feeling...it was just another cover. He used his anger to cover up the truth. And the truth…the truth was that he was terrified. Despite the hollow's current fragile state, it was becoming stronger everyday…while Ichigo remained weak, powerless, and _defenseless_.

Sooner rather than later, Ichigo knew he would be ousted from his throne.

The lurid red color of the numbers shining from his alarm pulled him from his dark thoughts. He focused his gaze on the alarm clock and grew even more irritated when he read the time.

**5:16 am. **

'_My alarm won't even go off for another two hours!'_

Unwillingly, his eyes wandered from the alarm atop his night stand to the closet behind it.

Jerking his head away from the offending object, he twisted his pillow and embraced the cool surface with one thought plaguing his mind:

'_Why…Why can't I forget you?'_

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He didn't get back to sleep that morning, so he was (understandably) in a horribly crabby mood as he walked to school.

His foul mood definitely wasn't assuaged by the irate Quincy that stormed up to him, grabbed him by his collar, and pushed him against a wall.

Uryu Ishida spoke through grit teeth, "What the _hell _is your problem?"

Ichigo kept his voice neutral as he responded "Well…considering that _you_ are the one who's holding _me_ up against a wall, shouldn't _I _be the one asking _you_ that?"

Uryu snarled and Ichigo continued, "Well, judging by that pleasant expression on your face, I'm sure you're about to tell me…"

"That! That, right there is your problem."

Ichigo kept his voice stable as he responded. "What on earth are you babbling about now Ishida?"

"Your whole 'screw-the-world-I-don't-give-a-damn' attitude! All you've done this past year is mope about losing your powers! Oh and let's not forget you pushing away people who have, literally, gone through hell to help you!

Despite the Quincy's uncharacteristic show of emotion, Ichigo's eyes remained blank. Uryu noticed this and sighed as he loosened his grip on his friend.

"Look Kurosaki I…understand. I know that you're hurt that Kuchiki-san hasn't come back since you lost your powers. But, she's still a Shinigami and she has work to do. She doesn't have the luxury of visiting friends whenever she feels like it…Trust me, I know what you're going through—"

Some light returned to Ichigo's amber eyes as he interrupted his comrade. "Don't even begin to delude yourself into thinking that you know what I'm going through right can't even fucking imagine what it's like."

Uryu sighed again, "In case you've forgotten Kurosaki…I lost my powers too."

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the point where Ichigo Kurosaki _lost it_.

"_POWERS_? That's what you think this is about? No, this isn't about losing my freaking _powers_, it's about losing my fucking _mind_! You may have lost your god damn powers Quincy but you never had to stave off a voice in your head that comes back daily swearing it will break free and _kill_ you and _everyone_ around you. That same fucking voice which you only have in your head because you were willing to give up _everything_ for someone that never gave a shit about you!"

Realizing how much he had let stumble out of his mouth in his bout of lost control, Ichigo immediately shut his mouth and turned himself away from his once comrade-in-arms. Uryu, on the other hand, was giving the orange haired teen a deeply worried look as he debated on whether or not he should inform the other two war veterans about what had just transpired.

All the while, Hichigo was cackling in the back of Ichigo's mind, enjoying the show.

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**End of Chapter Two**

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**A/N: The chapters are slowly but surely getting longer! Next up, we'll have a bit about Karin and what's going on with her! Also, if anyone knows the names of her friends (the boys she hung out with a kid), please tell me!**

**Now, here's a preview for the next chapter!**

**Coming Soon! :**

"**Today Karakura high school welcomes a new student…"**

…

**He knew the kind of trouble he could get into if they discovered the true intent of his "business trips" to the living world. Soul Society made very clear how they felt about relationships between Shinigami and humans…**

…

**He looked at her in utter disbelief.**

"**And that didn't concern you at all?"**

**What's going on with Karin? **

**Well, if you guys give me at least ****FIV****E**** MORE REVIEWS (ten total) I'll post the next chapter (which is currently sitting on my desktop begging to be released to the public ;)**

**BTW it's a meaty one … more than ****twice**** as long as this chapter!**

**PLEASE REVIEW: I want to know what you guys like/ don't like so I can make the story better for YOU GUYS! : ) I'm literally HAPPY anytime someone points out even something as small as a spelling mistake just because I know by correcting it the story gets better! **

**Although I'm flattered that I've gotten over 200 views, the fact that I've only gotten five reviews to show for it make me think the story sucks and I shouldn't bother continuing it. So if you guys want to see the next chapter REVIEW. **

**Just** **5 more reviews (10 total)**** if you guys want the next chapter… just start typing below!**

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	4. Chapter 2 point 5: Forgetmenot Part I

**Disclaimer and A/N:**** I own nothing. Everything but the plot twists I've added belong to the mastermind that is Tite Kubo. If I owned Bleach, Ichiruki would have happened LONG ago. None of this is for profit, it's just for fun and to improve my writing skills. **

**Kay guys!**** So I have planned this story up to chapter 9 (: which is a first for me :P This isn't really a full chapter, its just a scene that needs to go before the next chapter but didn't really fit with the previous . SO, here it is! I still will get chapter 3 up ASAP though! It is written I just need to check it over for mistakes and such (: **

**And speaking of mistakes, I just realized that I have been using the wrong "hear" in the title. Fixed now….lols how embarrassing :$**

**P.S. If anyone watches the show Supernatural, check out my other fic titled FREAKS!**

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_**Mistake (1): An error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.**_

_**Mistake (2): An excellent learning experience...provided that we actually remember it. **_

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**Chapter 2.5: Forget-me-not Part I**

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There is a unique bond that forms between brothers and sisters.

This unbreakable bond is forged and maintained by the inherent desire to care for each other, to protect each other, and to stand by each other's side. When push comes to shove, there is no one in the world that you would sacrifice more for…

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**16 months ago**

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…Karin's voice was still a little hesitant as she spoke to the light-haired male currently standing in front of her window. She whispered, "Does Soul Society know about this?"

The figure in her room walked a bit closer to her and lowered his voice as he replied. "You and I both know that the sou-taichou could care less about what happens to Ichigo now. It is better for everyone if they are not involved."

His eyes, which shone with a unique blue-ish hue, seemed sincere in their reasoning.

Nonetheless, Karin couldn't help but question 'the plan'. If they wanted to keep Soul Society out of it, that most likely meant that Soul Society wouldn't condone it.

"But if it's illegal, why would you–"

He cut her off smoothly, "We were allies in the war. He saved us all. It only makes sense that we would want to help him get his powers back."

She rolled the offer around in her head and tried to ascertain how she felt about it. To be honest, Karin wasn't entirely sure if she felt comfortable going behind Ichigo's back to do something like this.

'_But, in the end, he'll be happier because of it. He'll be able to see his friends again. And, he'll be able to see Rukia-neesan again…This time Ichi-nii, I'm going to save _you_.'_

With a newfound resolution saturating her voice, she looked up with determined eyes and gave her answer to her brother's old comrade.

"I'll do it."

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**End of Chapter 2.5**

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**A/N Don't worry, I'm not coping out of my end of the deal :P I'll post chapter 3 ASAP after a few edits! This bit just needed to be posted before it!**

**Who do you guys think the figure is? :O Sorry if it was a bit obvious!**

**P.S. the preview from the last chapter is for chapter 3, not this mini chap!  
**

**REVIEW and get FASTER updates :D **

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	5. Chapter 3: Karin

**Disclaimer and A/N:**** I own nothing. Everything but the plot twists I've added belong to the mastermind that is Tite Kubo. If I owned Bleach, Ichiruki would have happened LONG ago. None of this is for profit, it's just for fun and to improve my writing skills. Also, regarding the quote from the last chapter, the first definition was from **

**This chapter's quote is from .**

**PLEASE REVIEW ****so that each succeeding chapter is better than the previous :-). I'm done the next chap and will post it ****ONLY**** if I get ****TEN****more****reviews**** (29 in total)!**

**P.S. If anyone watches the show ****Supernatural****, check out my other fic titled ****FREAKS****! **

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**Thank you so much to my reviewers! You guys are the reason this chapter is up!**

**The romantic insanity (thank you times two! :-) )**

**icyflame12**

**Ultimate Black Ace (thank you times two :-) )**

**Batosaix**

**Experimentnumber628 (btw, I LOVE your name – Lilo and Stitch is one of my all time favourite Disney movies ;) **

**Crystal**

**Starzforu**

**KaktusDCat**

**Ashes2Ashes121(thank you times three :-) )**

**lone ruler**

**Also thank you to everyone that favourited/alerted this story!**

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**P.P.S I don't know/can't find the names of Karin's friends or the Karakura High Principal, so if someone does know them please tell me in a review! (Until then, I'm just going to use some filler names (:**

**P.P.P.S :P Does anyone know if there is a respectful way to addresss one's coach in Japanese? I know teacher is [name]-sensei, but I don't know the suffix used for coaches?**

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**Before I met you – **

**I never knew what it was like to look at someone **

**and smile for no reason.**

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**Chapter 3: Karin**

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Karin Kurosaki is not your average female high school freshman.

Quite the contrary, she is the exact opposite of the stereotypical teenage girl.

She refuses to wear dresses, makeup, and all the other "unnecessary garbage" that Yuzu keeps throwing in her direction.

Karin prefers sneakers to heels, chooses soccer over gossip, and would rather be one of the guys than dating one.

Yup, Karin Kurosaki is an anomaly.

And if the aforementioned don't make her enough of an oddity, let is also be known that she has the ability to see spirits.

Correction: she _had_.

Said anomaly was currently making her way to school to start a no doubt tiring day, when she heard her name being called (quite loudly) from behind her.

""Karin!""

As she turned around to face the multiple voices yelling out her name, she smirked. It was the guys. They were probably chasing after her to ask if she would play soccer with them at the park this weekend.

As they made their way to where she was standing, Karin had some time to recall exactly how long the five had been friends.

'_Wow…since elementary school.' _She gave a small, nostalgic smile at the thought.

While on their way up the hill (she was currently on top of), Kazuya tripped on something and took a grumpy Ryohei down with him. As Heita and Kei aided their fallen friends, Karin couldn't help but smile at the fact that nothing between the five had changed since grade school.

Well, other than Kei's minor crush on her the year prior (and the "polite" let down she had given him). Besides that slight detour, the dynamics of the group had remained the same over the years.

When the four boys finally reached her, all five made their way to school while talking about soccer, their plans for the weekend, the new video game that was coming out in a couple of days, and voicing their complaints about the ridiculous amount of geography homework that Taboto-sensei had given them the day before.

As the five Karakura high students entered their first period classroom, they noticed that their entire class was out of their seats and a buzz with whispers. Curious, Karin walked over to Yuzu (who had left earlier than her that morning to meet up with some friends) and asked why the class was so vocal today.

Yuzu smiled the way she always did and whispered to Karin, in a very conspiratory manner, that they were getting a new student today.

'…_That's it?'_ Karin mentally scoffed at how easy it was to rile up her peers.

Yuzu, however, somehow managed to read her twin's thoughts and giggled at her sister's attitude.

"Oh, Karin-chan, come on! We haven't had one in over three years! Even you must be slightly excited to see who the new student will be!"

Feigning interest for a good twenty seconds, Karin then returned to her seat. It really wasn't anything to make a bug fuss about. Actually, the kid would just be one more face to add to the crowd of people that Karin wouldn't bother to get to know.

Just as Karin went to sit in her seat, she heard the sound of the door opening and the dreary voice of her geography teacher.

"All right class, settle down, settle down." The older man slowly made his way to his desk in the front of the room as the rest of the class settled into their respective seats. He scratched his grey head as he continued to talk to the students.

"There was supposed to be a surprise today, so obviously, you have all already heard about it. Today Karakura High School welcomes a new student from the city of Houston. Does anyone know which country that's in?"

After seeing the blank stares given to him by his freshman class, the elderly man rolled his eyes and answered his own question. "America. He comes to us from the USA."

There were more than a few interested looks garnered from that sentence. No one in the class had ever met an American before, and the idea of meeting someone from so far away was appealing to everyone.

Taboto-sensei then signaled to the door, which was still slightly ajar from when he had entered. There was some rustling coming from the other side of the entrance as he spoke again. "I trust you will all be very welcoming to your new classmate, Adam Tsukima."

A tall, blond boy entered the room and as Karin saw the hungry and conniving looks on most of her female classmates' faces, she mentally sighed.

'_This kid is going to bring a lot of trouble…'_

The boy's dark eyes scanned the room, and when they fell on Karin he sent a smile in her direction. Momentarily surprised by the attention, she then rolled her eyes and pretended to write something in her notebook. Unbeknownstto her, most of the girls in the class had seen the action and were now trying to set the dark-haired Kurosaki on fire with their glares. Her twin, on the other hand, had seen as well and was currently thinking about ways to set the two up. Otou-san would be so excited!

All the while, Karin's pretend doodling had turned into rushed strokes as she looked at her paper and realized she had forgotten to finish the last question of their assigned homework last night.

'_Oh, just great!' _

She was so focused on finishing the question before Taboto-sensei noticed the incomplete state of her work, that she was completely ignorant of the fact that said teacher had assigned the boy, Adam, the spot right behind her.

Smirking in relief at having finished the question, she turned her gaze upwards as her teacher began collecting the homework and then started the lesson.

"For this morning's lesson, we will be taking a closer look at the soil compositions of the different forests of Japan…"

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"**BRRRRRRRIIINNNNGGGG" **

As soon as the school bell rang to signal the end of the day, Karin grabbed her bag and rushed out of class and ran to the girl's locker room. She had soccer practice today and Coach hated it when any team member was late.

Changing quickly, Karin went onto the field to see most of the team already warming up. Grabbing a ball, she ran over to the line and joined the other girls in doing drills.

When practice was over two hours later, Karin was completely exhausted. One of the older girls, Temari, had been late for practice. And Coach, being the sane woman that she was, made the entire team run suicides for every minute the girl had been late.

Temari had been fourteen minutes late.

Conceding to her sore muscles, Karin decided that a break was in order. So, she walked off the street and down towards the river in order to relax for a bit.

Sighing in relief, Karin allowed her head to fall back onto the river bank. Likewise, she let her legs and arms sprawl in opposing directions against the moist grass.

Her muscles cried from overuse and deflated the second they touched the cool ground.

Did she mention that Temari had been _fourteen_ minutes late?

Closing her eyes, Karin began to run through the events of the day in her head. This morning Ichi-nii had been more crabby than usual, Dad was coming back in a few days (sadly, the respite from his lunacy couldn't last forever), the walk to school had been average, the new student had been boring (albeit, _slightly_ attractive), practice had been brutal…

She was absentmindedly wondering about what had gotten Coach into such a foul mood when, despite her shut eyes, she felt a figure come and stand over her.

Opening her eyes, she saw the familiar face and smirked.

"Long time no see."

"Yes, but you are still the same as ever. You do realize that it is 11:00 right?" The taller-than-she-remembered figure above her raised a brow, and despite her inward panic, she maintained her composure. Maybe he was rubbing off on her a bit after all.

"Yes, I do realize the time. I have a phone you know."

The boy returned her smirk. "How could I not? It's been beeping on and off again for the past five minutes. Its noise is the reason I came down here."

Realizing that he was telling the truth, Karin immediately sat up and searched her backpack's pockets.

'_Since when does this thing have this many pockets!'_

Finally locating her phone, Karin answered it.

"Hello?…yes Yuzu I'm fine…no I'm quite alive…I'm sorry Yuzu, I didn't mean to worry you…yes I know…okay, yes, yes I promise I'll never scare you like that again…I just went to the park for some extra practice and lost track of time…because I left my bag on the park bench, I didn't hear it ringing…yes, yes, don't worry I'll be home in like an hour or so…ya, I love you too, bye."

Pressing the red button on her cell to end the call, Karin closed her eyes and lay back down again. Yuzu was her sister and Karin knew she meant well, but sometimes…

'_She can be a bit much.'_

Instantly feeling guilty for the stray thought about her caring sister, she resolved to make it up to her twin later.

The boy above her cleared his throat and she sighed.

"You know, you can join me Toshiro." She patted the ground with her left hand, "There's plenty of grass to go around."

With most other people, he would have corrected the improper form of addressing him. However, he had decided many visits ago (after a multitude of futile corrections) that no matter what he said, she would always remain stubborn and refuse to listen to him.

Also, with most other people, he wouldn't have taken up the offer to lie down on the grass and gaze at the sky. After all, there was paper work to do.

Then again, he had also decided many visits ago that it was safe to relax around Karin.

Moreover, he, like her, was completely drained of energy from the day's events. Sensing his exhaustion, Karin enquired as to what could have tired out the "almighty captain of the tenth division".

He raised his white brow as he responded. "If you must know, I was dealing with your school's principal…"

Surprised, she turned onto her side and stared at the young captain, who was still gazing blankly at the dark sky.

"If I ask you why you were talking to that old geezer, will I get an answer?"

Confused, the boy turned his head towards her. "Geezer?"

Laughing, she responded that she'd "tell him later" and that he had "better stop avoiding the question".

Slightly annoyed that she had laughed at him, he crossed his arms over his chest, closed his eyes, stuck his nose in the air, and told her that it was none of her business.

It was okay to act difficult around Karin. In fact, it was (dare he say it) fun.

Annoyed at his lack of proper response, the girl attempted to hit him against the arm.

This time Toshiro had the chance to laugh at her expense when grabbed her outstretched arm before her fist made contact with his torso. He rolled his eyes and informed her that he was the "captain of one of the strongest squads of the Gotei 13" and that she would "never be able to land a hit" on him.

Quickly realizing that he had essentially just invited her to try and _get a hit_ on him, he thought to pacify her by answering her earlier query.

"I was assigned an important mission that requires me to stay in the world of living for a while. In need to stay in contact with the others. Thus, I determined it would be best if I enrolled in school with them, since your world dictates you spend a ridiculous amount of time there." Reluctantly letting go of her arm, he continued speaking. "So, tomorrow you and I will be learning together."

Seeing a flaw in his statement, Karin voiced her observation "Don't you mean you'll be learning with _them_."

"I…I will not be in the same learning level as them. Instead, I will be in your level."

"Well first off, it's called a 'grade' not a 'learning level'. And second, is there a reason you aren't in my brother's class?"

Fighting down a blush, Toshiro spoke quickly and mumbled out his response to low for her to hear.

Karin quietly pondered what could have embarrassed the stoic captain and then slowly started to piece it together.

'_So that's why you're so annoyed after talking to Principal Nagiro" _

A Cheshire cat smile adorned the girl's pretty face as she politely asked the boy to repeat himself more clearly.

Through grit teeth, the young captain replied. "The 'geezer' automatically assumed I was a freshman…"

Karin burst into laughter as she saw the familiar vein bulge above the boy's twitching eye.

"…I, for one, cannot see how he could have formulated such a ludicrous idea. My speech is hardly adolescent—"

In between her bouts of laughter, Karin interrupted the boy's angry spiel. "What can I say Toshiro…I guess…you'll always be…a _little_ misunderstood"

The bulge above his eye grew larger as he increased the volume of his voice so that Karin could hear him over her incessant laughter. "I'm 5'8! That's average for a male. _Average_!"

It was true, despite Karin's taunts about his height, Toshiro had grown drastically over the past few months. He himself had been one of the many that had questioned his sudden "growth spurt" (as Karin called it). In the Soul Society, there was no such thing. It could take an individual hundreds of years to change in appearance–even if just a miniscule amount. Yet, somehow, he had grown rapidly in a very short time span.

His hair was also a bit shorter now, but that had been of his own doing.

As he stared at his companion, who was still (much to his annoyance) laughing, he thought about how she had changed alongside him. She wasn't the child he had met all those years ago. Her hair was slightly longer and, though she held back most of it with a hair-elastic, she allowed a few strands to frame her face. She was taller, but, much to his relief, she was still shorter than him. As his appraisal of her drew on, he realized something and abruptlysat up.

Disposing of his carefree countenance (the one only Karin could bring forth) he grabbed her arm (taking care to not hold on too tight) and pulled her up. Adopting his stern tone, he looked directly into her eyes and demanded that she "calm down" and answer his next question.

She quickly sobered and looked at him curiously.

He paused for a second before voicing his troubling thoughts. In a neutral voice, he asked her,

"Karin…why do you have absolutely no spiritual pressure?"

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Ever since his first encounter with Karin, Toshiro just couldn't stop running into her when he was sent to the living world for missions.

At some point, he realized that all of their meetings weren't entirely coincidental.

At that same point, he also acknowledged that he enjoyed spending time with the younger Kurosaki.

Due to this revelation, between the time he had introduced her to Grandma Haru and the present day, he had visited her a couple of times.

…Okay, _many_ times.

He visited as much as he could, or at least, the most he could without making the sou-taichou or anyone else suspicious.

Toshiro Hitsugaya was far from stupid. He knew the kind of trouble he could get into if the Soul Society discovered the true intent of his "business trips" to the living world. It was made very clear on numerous occasions by Soul Society exactly how they felt about relationships between shinigami and humans…

Not to say that there was anything between the two, but Toshiro wasn't naïve enough to think that others wouldn't jump to that conclusion due to the…frequency…of his visits.

The true reason was, well, that he enjoyed spending time with her.

'_Which is more than I can say for about 95% of those buffoons inhabiting the Seireitei.'_

Karin was easy to talk to, she allowed him to bring out his emotions, she understood his moods, and she had helped stabilize him after what had happened with Hinamori. Sometimes… he couldn't help but consider her as a friend.

Obviously, after becoming so close with her, he had become very attuned with her spiritual signature. It was to the extent where he could recognize it from miles away.

Earlier today, when Toshiro had arrived in Karakura through Urahara's Senkaimon, he didn't think anything of not being able to immediately sense her spiritual pressure. He had just assumed that she was too far away for him to do so. When he had found her (due to the incessant ringing of her cell phone) lying by the river, it hadn't crossed his mind that he should have been able to sense her a long time prior.

To be honest, he was just happ-_surprised_ to see her out so late.

When he finally focused long enough to process her lack of spiritual presence, he instantly became worried.

People didn't just lose their spiritual power out of the blue.

There was only one case Toshiro knew of that concerned someone losing their spiritual power completely…and her brother's loss had _not _been under favourable circumstances.

At her unsurprised look and lack of response, Toshiro grew more worried. He was, unexpectedly, doing a poor job of concealing it as he reiterated the question.

"Karin, answer me. _Why_ do you no longer have _any_ spiritual pressure?"

Conceding, she shrugged her shoulders and simply answered, "I woke up one day, and it was gone."

…

Toshiro stared at her in utter disbelief.

"And that didn't concern you at all?"

She tilted her head at him, physically showing her confusion at his outburst. "No it didn't. Should it have?"

He groaned in exasperation. "Karin, people don't just lose their spiritual power randomly. This is a serious issue that—"

She cut him off before he could continue. "The way I see it, it's the best thing that could have happened. I mean, I don't have to worry about pesky souls and their whining anymore. I don't have to worry about fighting hollows, I—"

This time, he cut her off as he grabbed her and looked straight into her grey eyes.

'_Something is…off…with_ her' he thought.

The Karin he knew had loved her powers. She had loved having the ability to protect her friends and family from hollows. She had _never_ seen it as a burden. In fact, there had been a point where she had begged him to train her, to help make her stronger. One specific memory, from before the war against Aizen, flashed through his mind.

_He was turned away from her, by the window, ready to leave. "Karin, I might not be coming back for a while." _

"_So…I guess the war's starting soon then, huh?" _

_Shocked, he whirled around to face her "H-How do you—"_

_She looked slightly annoyed as she cut him off, "Well __you_ _didn't tell me, that's for sure."_

_Seeing the slightly guilty look the boy now wore (because he had kept the vital information from her), she sighed. "…I was passing by Ichi-nii's room, and I heard him and Ruki-nee taking about it." _

_Toshiro mentally rolled his eyes at the carelessness of his comrades. "How much do you know?" _

"_Not much," she replied. "Just that you guys are outnumbered and are fighting a war against some traitors. I only really heard the end of their conversation."_

_Thanking every deity he could for small miracles, he sighed in relief. The less she understood about this, the better. Knowing Karin, she would want to…_

"_Take me with you." _

…_do exactly that. _

"_No."He answered without hesitation. "Your brother doesn't even know that you are aware of shinigamis. How is he going to react if he sees you on the front lines of our war?"_

_She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture, "It doesn't matter what Ichi-nii's reaction will be. It's my decision, not his."_

_Pulling her hand down, he corrected her."No, it's my decision. And I refuse to bring you into this mess."_

"_Toshiro please!" Seeing her beg to him, Toshiro had to turn his face away from her pleading eyes. There was no way he could let her convince him. There was absolutely no way he was risking her life. _

"_This isn't a game Karin. This isn't going to involve fighting the kinds of hollows that you've encountered before. These guys are stronger, much stronger—" _

"_Then train me. Make me strong enough to fight with you guys. The reason I have my powers is to protect people. Please Toshiro, my friends and family are going into this to protect everyone here. You have to let me come and protect them too!" _

Back then, he had somehow managed to disentangle himself from her and leave. She had been furious at him the next time he visited her, but she had (after numerous hits, screams, and fits) forgiven him. The Karin he knew would not be so nonchalant about losing something so defining as her powers.

"Karin, what's wrong?" He continued to stare into her eyes, hoping to find the answer.

"Nothing."

He was annoyed that all he could see was truth in her grey pools.

He raised a brow, "So you have no idea how you lost your powers."

She looked at him directly as she responded, "Absolutely none."

'_She's telling the truth. She really doesn't know.' _

"Toshiro, you can stop the interrogation, I'm fine. Yah, sure, I was a bit angry about it at first, but I got over it. Now, stop being so annoying and let's get going. Yuzu's going to kill me if I'm not home soon…race you there!"

She shrugged herself out of his grip and he watched as she ran away from him, calling taunts behind her shoulder (something about "rotting eggs"?).

Deciding that maybe he was making a bigger deal out of her nonchalance than he should be, he stored the conversation in his memory, and started running after her. He wasn't sure what a "slow poke" was, but he was certain he did not want to be one if it involved losing to Karin.

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"WINNER: KARIN KUROSAKI!" She smiled widely as she reached her house.

"Well, if you define winner as second place, then yes, you are correct." He spoke from in front of her and she pointed in an animated accusation.

"You cheater! You used your shinigami powers!"

"One, I am in a gigai. That makes using my powers impossible and disproves your claim. Two, I took the short cut two blocks ago. I didn't use my powers, just my common sense."

She huffed in irritation and it took all of his willpower to stop the smile that was pulling at his lips.

Claiming that she'd "beat him next time", he watched her as she entered the Kurosaki residence.

Despite knowing that he was welcome to join her, he started walking away in the opposite direction when he was assured that she had entered safely.

It had been an unspoken agreement that since Ichigo had lost his powers, Toshiro would refrain from entering the house. Seeing the rule-reverent captain here, on what Ichigo would assume was a mission, would only serve as a painful reminder of what the teen had given up.

'_Rule-reverent?'_

He found himself questioning the term that many in the Seireitei had used to describe him.

To be honest, he was breaking the rules he was known for upholding when he spent time with Karin.

To be honest, he found himself not really caring.

What he did care about, was the strange idea of her losing her powers and not knowing how. That was something he would have to talk with Urahara about when he reached the Shoten.

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"Well, well, well! _Captain_ _Hitsugaya_! What a surprise that you should come and visit my humble abode. It's been much too long!"

Toshiro mentally scoffed at the blonde man's antics. Outwardly, he kept his cold countenance. "I was here this morning."

The man waved a fan in front of his face as he spoke. "Really! My, my, I do believe that my sense of time is going a bit nutty…"

'_That isn't the only thing.'_ A well-known vein grew above the young captain's left eye as he became more annoyed.

"I awoke you to discuss a serious matter."

Urahara's eyes grew serious as he responded, "Do go on…captain."

Without haste, the white-haired boy acquiesced. "Ichigo Kurosaki's younger sister, Karin, has lost all of her spiritual pressure."

The man smiled behind his fan and happily spoke, "I am aware."

Angered, Toshiro spoke through grit teeth. "And that doesn't concern you _at all_?"

Urahara seemed to consider his statement for a few seconds before airily responding. "Well, this does have the unfortunate consequence of me losing a customer…"

Toshiro briefly entertained the idea of sending icicles through the shopkeeper's throat. Before he had the chance to contemplate other suitable consequences, the door behind Urahara slid open.

The yawning person of Yoruichi came through and smiled as she took in the two males in the room (one sitting in perfect seiza-style on a tatami, and the other lounging cross-legged).

Having heard the entire conversation, she thought to put in her two-cents.

"Now Kisuke, stop badgering our cute little chibi-taichou."

Another three veins popped on Toshiro's forehead. '_Chibi?'_

Before he could voice his objection, indignation, and remind them both that 5'8 was _average dammit_, Urhara whispered to Yoruichi behind his shoulder.

"But it's so much fun! Aww Yoru, don't be such a party pooper!"

After rolling her eyes at her lover's shenanigan's, Yoruichi sat by his side and adopted a serious expression.

"We do have something to discuss regarding Karin, but first, what is the status of Soul Society?"

Despite desperately wanting answers to Karin's situation, Toshiro knew he was going to have to give the cat woman some answers before she would concede the ones he desired.

"The atmosphere is…strange. There have been noticeably few captain's meetings. From that, I assume that whatever is troubling the Soul Society, we have minimal information on it."

Urahara voiced the next question.

"Well, that leads me to believe you are here on reconnaissance. Have you found what you are looking for?"

The hidden question was clear to the young captain: _what have they sent you to find information on?_

He sighed in response. Although the sou-taichou didn't trust these two completely (despite the amnesty they were granted after the war), Toshiro did.

"The twelfth division has detected strange variations in the wall that separates the Soul Society from the human world. Apparently, they are miniscule—almost untraceable. The only reason they were even noticed is because, lately, they have been increasing greatly in frequency. I was sent to find out what could be causing these disturbances."

Because Urahara's hat had tipped over slightly, Toshiro didn't see the worried look that flickered through his eyes. Yoruichi, however, did and grew concerned.

'_What secret are you hiding from us this time Kisuke…'_

Regardless of her new worries, Yoruichi still had a few more questions she wished to ask the leader of the tenth division.

"I know that Third has appointed Rose as its new captain, and Kensei is running the Ninth again, but how is the fifth division holding up?"

"Captaincy was offered to Shinji, but he declined."

Yoruichi paused before asking the next question, sympathy shining through her feline eyes as she did so. "And is it still without a vice-captain?"

Toshiro sighed, once again. "She's getting better…But she's still in no condition to leave her room, let alone lead her division." He saddened a little at the thought of the girl. They had grown up together. She was his sister, the closest thing he had to family since Granny's soul returned to the world of the living, and she was so haunted by the war that she hadn't left the Fourth Division in months.

The young captain continued, undeterred by his dour thoughts. "The squad itself is a mess. It has been ever since Aizen left."

Kisuke hummed (seeming a little bored) as he enquired, "Have they not made captaincy offers to anyone else? Surely some of the lietenants, possibly Abari-kun and Izuru-kun, are qualified?"

Yoruichi tsked at the smiling man beside her. "Now Kisuke, it really doesn't suit you to play ignorant. Even I can speculate the reasons for not placing offers to them. Renji is strong, but brash and impulsive. He lacks the gentle touch that such a fragile division would need to heal. Kira, although wise and having the required kindness, lacks the assertiveness to bring the division to the state it was before the betrayal. Am I correct in my assessment, little captain?"

Ignoring the Yoruichi's bating, Toshiro nodded. "Both are strong candidates, but not currently suitable for captaincy of this particular squad."

After a prolonged pause, Toshiro cleared his throat and ventured, "I believe we still have yet to talk about Karin's situation?"

Urahara and Yoruichi both shared a smile at the young captain's inquiry.

Urahara whistled as he asked in return, "Yes. So tell me, how is little Karin doing these days? She's becoming quite pretty, wouldn't you say so Yoruichi?"

"Oh _most_ _definitely_, Kisuke. Now I understand why we've been seeing you around so much over the past few years and why you've been so eager to grasp at all the missions requiring stays in the living world." Taking a second to patronize him by patting his head, she continued. "Looks like our little chibi-captain is _all_ _grown_ _up_ now."

Toshiro felt his face heating up a deep red, but refused to give into their taunts. Somebody had to maintain the seriousness this topic required, and it surely was not going to be either of the once-exiles.

Trying to tame the furious blush currently covering his entire face, the captain spoke. "I-I think we should stay focused on the issue here. She's lost her spiritual pressure and has no recollection as to how or why. Last I checked something like that was impossible."

Urahara closed his fan and placed it below his chin, to make it appear as if he was contemplating the problem. "…Well, the Kurosakis always did have a problem with staying within the possible." Reopening his fan, Urahara said that he would "look into it".

Yoruichi became serious once again as she spoke to the captain. "Captain, you realize that soon it won't just be us noticing your increasingly…frequent…visits."

The atmosphere in the room immediately thickened.

Kisuke finished his other half's thoughts, his tone a stark contrast to his smile. "And when they do, they won't look upon Karin-chan too kindly…"

Urahara's words were not a surprise to Toshiro. He had repeatedly told himself that he was being selfish and that his visits were potentially endangering her.

He then told himself, each time, that it would be his final visit.

However, he just couldn't find it in himself to sever his connection with her. It was…she was…he just couldn't. No matter how hard he tried to resist, each time he left the thought of being with her again drew him back.

Every time.

He sighed. "I've kept my visits spaced out enough so that no suspicions arise."

"Well, as long as you've got that end covered…" Urahara's smile grew playful and, to the absolute horror of the young captain, the shopkeeper continued to speak.

"Now, onto more important dilemmas…What are you going to do when Kurosaki-kun discovers that you've deflowered his sweet, innocent, baby sister…"

Yoruichi burst out into laughter as Toshiro snarled and left the room.

'_Those two are ridiculous! R-Ridiculous! I don't even like her like that!'_

Nonetheless, he was powerless to stop the heat that consumed his face once again at Urahara's words.

He was also powerless to stop the voice hammering in his chest, screaming that he was lying.

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**A/N: That was officially the longest chapter I think I've ever written! Pheww! But, tbh, I just couldn't stop, I love hitsukarin too much ;) I'm so glad you guys chose that pairing! (I don't absolutely hate hitsuhina, I just always thought of Toshiro as her younger brother!) I'm still not entirely happy with how some parts of this chap turned out :-( but if I read it over one more time my eyes will bleed! **

**If you guys have any ideas, questions, or suggestions PLEASE REVIEW! **

**BTW thank you so much to those reading my story! I've gotten almost 800 views and I can't stop smiling about it! I just discovered that fanfiction lets us see the country our viewers are from and WOW! There are people from the UK, Germany, Malaysia, Romania, China, Bangladesh, Poland, India, Ireland, Belarus, Greece, the United Republic of Tanzania, Ecuador, USA, and more! Just WOW! Thanks so much for reading my story everyone!**

**Coming soon: **

**-Ishida's response to Ichigo's outburst**

**-Renji**

**-And of course, some ichiruki goodness ;-) **

**Next chap's on my computer, waiting to be released! BUT it'll only be posted if I get**

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**10 MORE REVIEWS (so 29 in total)!**

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	6. Chapter 4 Sneak Peek

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**Chapter 4 Sneak Peak:**

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_**.**_

_**Soonity soon soon!**_

_**I'll be there,**_

_**And you'll be here!**_

_**Soonity soon soon!**_

_**.**_

_**Soonity soon soon! **_

_**I'll make you watch,**_

_**As I take back EVERYTHING that is ours!**_

_**.**_

_**Soonity soon soon!**_

_**I'll make you watch,**_

_**As I make them PAY for what they've done to us!**_

_**.**_

_**Soonity soonity,**_

_**soon soon**_

_**SOON!**_

.

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_**A/N: Honestly, this has been on a constant repeat in my head ever since I wrote it.**_

_**So I figured I'd get the crazy tune stuck in your heads too : ) **_

_**Enjoy! **_

_**P.S. still waiting on three more reviews before I post the next official chapter ;) (hint hint, wink wink) **_


	7. Chapter 4: Legardemain

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**Disclaimer and A/N:**** I own nothing. Everything but the plot twists I've added belong to the mastermind that is Tite Kubo. If I owned Bleach, Ichiruki would have happened LONG ago. None of this is for profit, it's just for fun and to improve my writing skills. **

**PLEASE REVIEW ****so that each succeeding chapter is better than the previous :-) I'm done the next chap and will post it ****ONLY**** if I get ****?**** more reviews!**

**P.S. If anyone watches the show ****Supernatural****, check out my other fic titled ****FREAKS****! **

**This chapter's quote is from one of my all time favourites: Fifth Business by Robertson Davies (a fellow Canadian ;) **

**ALSO: I'M RATING THIS CHAPTER M to be on the safe side! I wrote a particularly dark scene and I hope it turned out okay (it's my first time writing something like that!) **

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SPECIAL SPECIAL thanks to all my reviewers! You guys are what keep me (and this story) going!

**Thank you: **

**Ultimate Black Ace(x2 :D )**

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**Ashes2Ashes121**

You guys are all AMAZING

So I didn't read over this chap as much as I could of, so if you guys see mistakes, tell me ! :)

**Remember,**** 10 MORE REVIEWS (40 in TOTAL) gets y'all the next chapter!**** (:**

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**"_I was afraid and did not know what I feared,_**

_**which is the worst kind of fear."**_

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**Chapter 4: Legerdemain**

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"…and then he just stormed off." Uryu sighed as he finished his recount of the events that had transpired earlier that day. The two other indiviudals in the room adopted the same concerned expression that Ishida had been wearing since his confrontation with Ichigo.

The three war veterans presently gathered in Orihime's living area so late at night had been through much together. They could proudly say that after their adventures and the war, they were no longer the individuals they once were.

Ever since that day when they had enlisted to help Ichigo save Kuchiki-san from execution, they had become stronger. Each one of them had developed into something more because of their interactions with each other.

Uryu: Once angry and resentful, had made peace with his past.

Orihime: Once convinced of her worthlessness, had developed confidence in herself and her abilities.

Chad: Once estranged and distant from others, had forged bonds with these people and learned that he was not someone to be feared.

Evidently, becoming comrades with Ichigo and Rukia had made them better soldiers.

But, it was being friends with the two that had made them better people.

This friendship is something eternal, something that will never fade or falter. It will forever demand from all of them, that they constantly strive to ensure both the safety and happiness of each other.

And Ichigo was currently _far_ from both.

They had expected him to be depressed after he had lost his powers. Who wouldn't be?

But, contrary to their beliefs, he dove back into his "normal" (i.e. pre-Rukia) routine right away. He went to school, gave his early morning "greeting" to Keigo, ate lunch with the group, went home, etc. Everyday, he went through the actions seemingly undeterred by a loss that would have devastated anyone else.

Nonetheless, his comrades had identified his real emotions. Thay had accomlished this through one look into his always expressive eyes. His actions may have portrayed normalcy, but those eyes shrieked of a deep sadness.

For a while he remained that way; he continued normal to hide his sadness.

Soon after though, something changed.

Ichigo changed.

He stopped making an effort to converse with his friends, blocked out everyone he could, stopped his sarcastic bantering and impulsive fighting. The most disturbing change however was his eyes. Whenever his friends looked for the truth behind his reclusiveness now, they found nothing.

Absolutely _nothing_: just an empty gaze staring back.

Uryu may not have always been on the best terms with the spiky-haired teen, but they had grown into close friends over the years. Likewise, he had become good friends with Kuchiki-san. Uryu admired the girl who had shown him (through her selflessness and kindness) that not all shinigami were scum. It was this tie to her that had being irritated by Ichigo's harsh words about her to Keigo the day prior.

It was that same tie that had pulled him to confront his friend that morning, and the tie between himself and Ichigo that had pushed him to tell the other two about what had occurred. He was worried about Ichigo and the things he had revealed in in bout of emotion.

'_What 'voice' was he talking about? God Kurosaki, what have you gotten yourself into now?'_

As if sensing his questions, Orihime spoke.

"I think…I may have an idea as to who the voice is."

Sensing her hesitation, the two males in the room chose not to prode her. She would tell them if and when she felt comforatble enough to do so.

After a small pause, the girl continued.

"I…I think it is his hollow." Behind his glasses, Uryu's eyes widened in realization while Chad remained puzzled. Upon seeing the friendly giant's confusion, Orihime elaborated on her suggestion. She told the tall teen about how the creature had taken over Ichigo when he had faught Ulquiorra and how when Ichigo was consumed by the hollow he could no longer distinguish friend from foe.

At that point, she hesitated slightly, and Uryu spared her by telling Chad himself how the hollowfied Ichigo had mercilessly attacked him and stabbed him in the stomach.

"Does Soul Society know about this?" Chad's deep voice enquired.

"They _knew_ about it. They assumed, like us, that it had disappeared alongside Ichigo's shinigami powers."

"Why didn't it?" The worried voice of Orihime asked.

"That's a good question. Unfortunately, it's one which I don't know the answer to. What I do know is that we need to find a way to help him."

Without hesitation, Orihime proposed "Mr. Urahara?"

Uryu shook his head in dissent. "I have a feeling that he would have been the first person Ichigo went to in order to solve this. Obviously, Urahara wasn't able to help."

A solemn silence filled the room for a few minutes before Chad's deep voice filled the void.

"I think that…what he needs now, more than ever, is Rukia-chan. She may not be able to solve the problem directly, but Ichigo could only benefit from having her around him."

Uryu nodded in agreement…

As did Orihime.

Once upon a time, Chad's suggestion would have caused spears of jealousy to bore into her heart. But, over the years, Orihime had realized that Rukia would always be the one that Ichigo turned to, the one that fit him perfectly. Now, she only wished that her two friends would acknowlege the love that they obviously carried for each other so that they could be happy together. Although it may have taken a while, she had accepted it.

'_And moved on.'_ She thought with a small smile as she regarded the Quincy pushing his spectacles higher on the bridge of his nose, the way he always did in preparation to strategize their next move.

"She won't be permitted to come here just to visit us and I highly suspect that Ichigo does not want Soul Society to know about this. That being said, we do not want to risk sending her the information via a letter or messenger, in case of interception. Our only option is to go to Soul Society and directly tell her. Hopefully she will be able to find a way to return here to see him, if only for a little while. We'll go early tomorrow morning, that way we can get a full night's sleep before we go. Speaking of which, it's getting late. Chad, come on, I'll give you a ride home."

And so, the three friends agreed on the plan that would hopefully help the fourth human member of their group. The two males smiled as Orihime happily announced that operation "Getting back Rukia to help Kurosaki-san" was a go.

Unbeknownst to them, the object of their concern was also thinking about the petite shinigami...

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_His subconsious really was a bitch. _

_This time, he wasn't just watching his memory unfold from afar, but living through it. As if once wasn't enough… _

"_Hey, midget! Why aren't you answering me?"_

_The girl's eyes looked partially annoyed as she finally acknowledged him._

_"Oh, it's you."_

_Confused at her impassive tone, the boy responded in slight puzzlement, "Yah, it's me"._

_Silence joined the duo for a few minutes before the girl tried to walk away, and the boy voiced his objection. Ichigo refused to let her go and his hold on her arm remained firm._

_His voice was laced with worry as he asked her, "Rukia, what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?"_

"_I am not 'acting' like anything. You are the one acting like a child and refusing to release my arm."_

"_Child? Wha-no, first you're going to answer some questions. Why haven't you come back to Karakura?" As much as he wanted to use her child remark return into the banter he and her were known for, he needed some answers. _

"_Why would I? You are no longer able to assist me in my missions." She gave a careless shrug with her shoulders. "You're no longer useful." _

_Completely shocked at her answer, Ichigo exclaimed, "What is that supposed to mean?" _

_Completely calm, she spoke to him in a patronizing tone. "It means just that: without your powers, you. Are. Useless. To. Me."_

_Ichigo rapidly shook his head in disbelief. "You–You're lying! You're acting like we–What the hell is making you act like this?" _

_She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "What did you think Ichigo? That once this was all done I'd come back to stay __**here**__?"_

_She said the word with such distaste, and Ichigo couldn't stop his eyes from drifting down to the side. He did so because he was afraid that his amber orbs would reveal his true thoughts—what he had really hoped for. _

_But she saw, just like she always did. He never could keep anything from her._

_She scoffed. "Oh my, that's it isn't it? You didn't just want me to come back here. You wanted me to back to **you**. You have feelings for me…" She smiled cruelly as she continued. "Well, I guess I should stop your delusions right now. Those feelings…are __**not**__ reciprocated." At his stunned silence, she dove the knife deeper and she refused to stop. _

_Taking her dainty hand (the one not being grasped onto by ichigo), she traced his cheek slowly in mock affection. She then cupped said cheek and forced his eyes unto her violet ones. "What did you think Ichigo? That I would give up my entire world for you? That I'd be by your side forever? That we'd share a life together? Oh dear, Ichigo. You do realize that what we had is a partnership. That is all it is…That's all it **was**." _

'_No.'_

_Her hand left his cheek, and a harsh cold replaced it. "Now, that you are powerless, Soul Society no longer requires your services…"_

'_No!'_

"_And although, we thank you in abundance for all you've done, your connection to our world is now…terminated."_

'_NO!' _

_He may have voiced that last objection outloud. He wasn't quite sure and he was too confused to tell. He grabbed her other arm in a futile attempt to reassure himself that he could make her stay with him. She couldn't be serious, she couldn't be leaving him, she couldn't..._

_Using his grip on both her arms, he pulled her closer to himself before he yelled, "Dammit Rukia! You can't be serious! What—"_

_Her mocking tone immediately changed to a cold, detached one. He had only ever heard that tone directed his way once…the night when Byakuya and Renji had taken her. _

"_Kurosaki-san, I highly suggest that you unhand me this instant. You no longer have the means to defend yourself should I consider you a threat."_

_Lowering his voice to a serious whisper, he challenged her. "You would __**never**__ raise your blade against me." _

_His eyes told her that this was her last chance; this was the last test he was employing. Her answer would tell him if she truly had just been using him the entire time. Slowly, he released her weilding arm. _

_What she did next would determine if he could ever look at her in the same way again._

_Without any hesitation, a blade was pressed against Ichigo's throat. _

"_Have you seen enough __**Kurosaki-san**__, or do I have to decapitate you before you finally believe me." A smirk tainted her features, and Ichigo wanted nothing more than to tear it off. _

_He stuttered in horrific realization, "S-So this entire time…the entire time, our friendship…w-why..." As he spoke, the blade punctured his skin and let loose trickles of blood. Lines of deep red rolled down his tanned neck, trailing like tears. _

"_Soul Society needed your involvement to win the war. And, you'll do __**anything**__ for your friends." She replaced her blade in its holster, but didn't stop speaking. _

"…_Besides, I needed some form of insurance in case I ever got into trouble."_

_She said it matter-of-factly, casually; as if she wasn't breaking his heart with every word that left her lips. _

_His eyes were begging her to say that all of this was just some cruel joke._

"_I have to return __**home**__ now Kurosaki-san, so if you would release your grip it would be much appreciated." __She looked pointedly at the hand gripping her arm as she said this._

___His grip on her arm loosened, but his hold lingered._ He had a feeling it always would. He knew, even then, that he would never be able to let go of the future he had always dreamed of sharing with her. Sensing his reluctance to comply, Rukia rolled her eyes and wrenched her arm harshly from his stunned hand. Right after doing so, she turned towards the room containing the Senkeimon and walked away. 

_This time, she didn't look back. _

_Furious, he made a show of whirling the opposite way and storming out of the room. _

_Despite his bout of anger, there was still a part of him that refused to consider this as the end. So, still not believing her words entirely, he took special care to leave the door open…_

_Listening carefully, he heard the uncharacteristically blank voice of Urahara. _

"_Well, that was rather…cruel, wasn't it Rukia-chan?" _

Once again, he awoke with a start, in a cold sweat, breathless, and angry as hell.

_'Dammit, will she ever leave! Arrrgh! FUCK HER!'_

'_**Careful Kingy…I just might force you to…'**_

Hearing the eerie voice again, Ichigo groaned in frustration.

_She_ haunted him when he was asleep and _he_ haunted him when he was awake.

There was no respite: no break from either of them. There were only reminders, 24/7, of the idiotic fool he had been.

And the fool he still was.

His grip on his pillow grew so tight his knuckles grew taught and turned a pale white. He knew that no matter how many times he told himself that he hated her, he never truly would.

She had been the one who risked her life to protect his family. She had been the one who had lessened the guilt caused by his mother's death. She had been the one to inspire him all the times he thought about giving up. She had been his motivation to become stronger. She had been the one who helped him overcome his hollow. She had been the one who saved him from his darkest thoughts. She had been the one he thought he'd have by his side forever. She stopped the rain. She had been…she had been _everything._

He couldn't hate her.

However, he could be mad at her…and he was. There was even a part of him somewhere deep down that hoped he could get her back for everything that she had put him through. That same part screamed for revenge against the teasing girl who had given him hope only to then cruelly rip it away the second she deemed him useless.

His hand traced the small scare on his throat…the physical evidence of her betrayal.

Slowly, his trecherous hand made its way to his cheek. It longed to hold the smaller hand that had once been there and wished that the intent of her touch had been different— that it had been a caress of love rather than pity and mockery.

Inadvertently, words she had spoken to him long ago replayed, full blast, in his mind.

'…_I don't have a method of stepping into the depths of your heart without getting it dirty…'_

She had been so careful with it back then. What had changed?

Looking around his room, his eyes fell once more on the closet. The same closet left untouched since she had left him and the same closet that would remain there as long as he did. Her essence may fade over the years, but the memories of the times she lived in there would never leave. _She_ would never leave.

'_**She'll always be here King…Just. Like. ME!'**_

As the hollow's off-pitch laughter echoed in the dilapitating walls of his mind, Ichigo couldn't help but pray that Urahara would think of a solution soon.

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The aforementioned shopkeeper opened the door to his shop while yawning and rubbing his eyes. It was currently 5:30 in the morning, not even been five whole hours after Toshiro had left in a huff because of the whole gardening comment.

'_That boy can be such a drama queen.' _

As he slid open the overused door, he saw the three determined visages of Chad, Ishida, and Orihime.

"Well, would you look at that? Two problems within 24 hours. Guee I'm becoming quite popular around here. How may I be of service to you this fine, _early _morning?"

"We need to enter the Soul Society. It's urgent." Ishida answered swiftly.

Smirking behind his always present fan, Urahara asked, "Would I be correct in assuming that this is to do with Kurosaki-san?"

Ishida responded in kind. "Depends, would I be correct in assuming that you knew about this all along and already have the Senkeimon ready?"

Urahara's devious smirk grew as he invited the three into the Shoten.

"Dear friends, you know me _too_ well."

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Once their feet landed on the familiar white cobblestone of the Seireitei, Ishida had tried to sense Rukia's sprititual pressure but was unable to do so. Thus, the group quickly decided that the next step would have to be finding someone that could provide them with Rukia's whereabouts.

Running through the open streets, none of the teens were concerned about being charged for trespassing. After all, the Sou-taichou had given them permission to enter the Seireitei as they pleased.

Politicaly speaking, he didn't really have a choice considering that they had won the war for him.

"Ano-we should check the thirteenth division's barracks first. E-Even if she's not there, her captain will know where to find her."

Ishida and Chad nodded to Orihime's suggestion as they took the next appropriate turn towards Thirteenth.

They were just about to make the next turn when they came across the face of another familiar figure.

Said face took on a surprised expression when he recognized the trio.

"Well what do you know? Hey guys! What brings you back to these parts?" He greeted jovially.

"Oh thank goddness we found you Renji-kun!" exclaimed Orihime slightly out of breath, "we need to find Rukia-chan. We have to talk to her right away!"

At the mention of his best friend's name, the red-haired man's smile morphed into a frown.

"Good luck with that. She hasn't been in a very…talkative…mood lately."

Sensing the uneasiness of the lieutenant, Ishida couldn't help but be curious.

"Care to elaborate?"

Renji sighed. "No, not really…but I'm guessing you guys won't let me by unless I do."

The three nodded and Renji could only sigh once more in resignation. _'Wasn't like I was doing anything important anyways.'_ Looking around for unwanted ears, the lieutenant began speaking once he was sure the four were alone.

"To be honest, I don't really know what's wrong with her. After Ichigo lost his powers, well I kinda knew she would be sad. I mean, the guy wouldn't be able to see her anymore unless she was in a gigai. And, well…she _was_ sad, for a while. Then, she just…stopped being sad. She stopped being everything! It was like post-Kaien Rukia all over again. She drew away from everyone, didn't hang out with us anymore, and just went all out with missions. And I mean _all_ out! She finished one after another and then kept asking for more. She even got her bankai, and I have no idea where she had the time to train for that with all the missions she was taking on. Even now, the only time I see her is at captain's meetings."

Orihime voiced her confusion, "But I thought only captains and lieutenants could go to those."

"You're right about that. She's a lieutenant now. But…even at those meetings she just appears then disappears, before any of us get a chance to talk to her." Renji said gloomily. It was obvious he was concerned about the well being of his friend. His worry lines deepened as he continued.

"Come to think of it, there have only been a few of those lately, which makes me think that something's going on. That and this whole strange atmosphere that's clinging everywhere. I think Rukia's involved. Rangiku, Hisagi, Kira,Yumichika, and even Ikkaku think so too! But she avoids us all like the freaking plague and won't talk to any of us long enough to answer our questions."

Ishida, Chad, and Orihime looked at each other with great distress. As if suddenly remembering something important, Renji asked in a lowered voice, "How…How is he doing anyways?"

Ishida sighed in exasperation. "Just like her: distant, cold, and refusing to talk to anyone. He's actually the reason we are looking for Kuchiki-san. We were hoping Rukia could talk some sense into him and help him sort through some other…problems."

"Like?"

This time Orihime answered. "Abarai-kun…when Ichigo lost his powers…he, he didn't lose all of them—"

Once again surprised, his tatooed brows raised as Renji exlaimed in glee "What! Well that's great! Maybe Rukia will finally st—"

Orihime stopped him "No…h-he won't be able to see her again. He lost all his shinigami powers, but he," She made sure to whisper the next part, despite knowing that the four were alone "…he kept his hollow ones."

Realization graced Renji's features and was quickly replaced with worry. "But I thought he needed his shinigami powers in order to control his hollow powers?"

Ishida nodded solemly. "He does. That's why we're worried."

Renji shook his head in disbelief. "Just when we get outta a damn war, something else starts happening. Rukia and Ichigo had better not be involved this time. Oh man, they _so_ are…this can't be good…"

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"…You are to watch this individual closely. Upon your return, I expect a full report conducted in complete secrecy. Nobody is to know the reason behind this, absolutely no one but myself and you until I decide otherwise. Is that understood captain?"

"Hai, Sou-taichou."

And with that, Soi-fon left the dark room in search of her newest target.

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_Slowly, her dainty hand traced its way up his torso, coming to rest on his chest…_

_Somewhere above where his heart was doing a weird break dance, hoping to keep her interested. _

_His eyes met her beautiful violet ones. She looked at him the way he always dreamed she would and a genuine smile adorned his face. _

_'She is mine now.'_

_He closed his eyes as he dove in for the kiss he had desperately longed for (since God knows how long) and treasured the feeling of his lips on hers. _

_'She will never leave me again.'_

_As his mouth pressed against hers, his hands started their exploration of her body. Her skin was just as soft as he had always fantasized it would be. _

_'She loves me, only me.'_

_While one hand stayed pressed to her sweet porcelain skin, the other made its way into her midnight locks. As he did so, her hands returned from running through his orange strands and began pressing along his now bare chest. _

_His lips became bolder as they left her thoroughly ravished mouth and made their way down her milky neck. His risk was rewarded with a beautfiul moan from her. _

'_Mine. Forever and always, mine.'_

_As he became even more aggressive, her moans increased, and his desire reached uneffable heights. The metalic taste of the sweat lining her body was addictive, just like her. Wanting to see her eyes as she writhed underneath him, Ichigo finally opened his. _

_Her eyes weren't filled with love; they were pooling with tears and wide in terror. Confused, he looked at the rest of her and quickly shared in his lover's horror. _

_What he had thought was sweat, was actually blood. _

'_Her blood.'_

_What he had thought to be her hands tracing his body had actually been her arms trying relentlessly to push him away. _

'_She was trying to stop me.' _

_Too late he realized that what he had mistaken as moans were actually screams of protest._

'_I didn't stop…' _

_Unable to stand the sight of what he had done to the girl he loved, he yanked his hands away from her body in digust at himself…only to realize that what should have been tan was pure white…_

'_Wake up' he begged. 'WAKE UP!' _

'_**Nuh un un, Kingy! We're going to have some FUN with Queen first!'**_

_His arms started moving towards her again, even though he willed them not to. _

'_P-Please stop I-Ichigo! Pl-Please, please stop!"_

_ She was sobbing._

_The girl who, out of pride, never so much as shed a tear in his prescence was now begging before him. _

'_**Do you like her like that King? Begging for you. She's so…vulnerable…isn't it just DELECTABLE?' **_

_His hands forced themselves onto her again, and she sobbed even harder. __As he heard her cries, his stomach churned in self-loathing. Full of hatred, _Ichigo screamed at his hollow to stop this insanity, to stop hurting her. 

'_**Oh, it's okay King. She ****owes****you. After everything that you've done for her, this is the least she can give back to you. Don't you think King?' **_

_To Ichigo's horror, he stopped the vocal protests directed at the hollow. Triumph filled the hollows words as he continued to speak._

'_**She may refuse you out there King, but in here she can't do **__**anything**__** to stop you. She's completely yours.'**_

'_Mine…' _

_As if coming out of an illusion, he instantly became horrified when he realized that the hollow's words had not immediately repulsed him. _

'_NO!'_

Ichigo woke up in a panic, scrambled out of his bed, and immediately started changing.

'_I-I just let him justify rap-hurting Rukia. Oh god, what the hell is happening to me!'_

'_**Soonity soon soon!**_

_**I'll be there,**_

_**And you'll be here!**_

_**Soonity soon soon'!**_

Having finished changing into dayware, Ichigo tried his best to ignore the lunatic in his head as he walked quietly down the stairs (so as to not wake up Yuzu and Karin).

'_**Soonity soon soon! **_

_**I'll make you watch,**_

_**As I take back EVERYTHING that is ours!'**_

Upon reaching the main floor, he headed for the door.

'_**Soonity soon soon!**_

_**I'll make you watch **_

_**As I make them PAY for what they've done to us!' **_

Knowing that the weather this late at night would be freezing, he grabbed his jacket and was about to put it on.

'_**Soonity Soonity soon soon…**_

However, he dropped the jacket immediately upon seeing his hand.

…_**SOON!'**_

It was white.

Ichigo backed away from the coat in horror and blinked rapidly. When he gathered enough courage to glance back down at his hand again, it was a familiar golden tan.

Forgetting about the coat completely, he pulled open the door and he ran out onto the dark street.

His skin may be normal again, but he sure as hell was not.

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Hearing the incessant and loud banging at his door, Kisuke Urahara slid it open to find, surprise surprise, another one of Karakura's heroes at his doorstep.

'_Three visits in 48 hours…Three problems in 48 hours. This is bad.'_

Ichigo did a poor job of hiding his panic as he hurriedly whispered to the shopkeeper,

"I need a solution. Now."

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In the achromatic and barren wastelands of Hueco Mundo, a girl with pale skin and dark hair stood firm, now immune to harsh winds.

Behind her, the sand started to stir.

To her knowledge, a ghastly specter arose from the ground and spoke in raspy, high-pitched screeches. "He requests your presence in Los Noches…your highness."

A short moment later, the place where the girl had previously been standing was rendered vacant.

Swiftly, the galling winds blew away all indents and footprints in the alabaster sands. The howling force made short work of any physical evidence of her presence.

Then, it was almost as if she had never been there at all.

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**Thank you Crystal for the names of Karin's friends! I went back and fixed them! **

**Once again, the next chapter's waiting on my desktop, begging to be released! **

**Just 10 more reviews and it will be! **

**P.S. In your reviews, if you have any suggestions for the following, feel free to share! I don't know how I feel about some these things (even though a lot of them are written, Ill happily change it if I get a good idea!): **

**-How Ichigo gains back his powers/gets different ones**

**-If I should add some Ishihime or leave it where I left it**

**-If I should have someone for Chad (if so, who?) **

**-If you guys would like to see Tatsuki again? (if so, with or without powers)**

**-If you guys like Aizen as the villain, or would prefer someone else (if so who? Or would you like an OC)**

**-Do you guys like the psychotic hollow ichigo? Should I keep him crazy or tone him down? (p.s. I had just watched the Dark Knight (again :P ) before I wrote this chap, and I think I channeled the joker's crazy into Hichigo !) **

**P.S. See any spelling or grammar errors? TELL ME! Anything in the plot seem overly obvious? Are any lines too cliché? TELL ME! Paragraphs too long/short? TELL ME! I'm doing fanfiction to become a ****better writer****, hopefully so I can one day write the book I have swimming aroundin my head. ****EVERYTHING**** you guys say helps! It doesn't even have to be positive! **

**Remember,**** 10 MORE REVIEWS (40 in TOTAL) gets you the next chapter**** (: **

**Preview:**

**-a jealous toshiro**

**-another ichi/hollow confrontation**

**Coming Soon: **

"**Either **_**she**_** dies, or we will ALL die! **

…**..**

"…**every single one of us! Whether you belong to the human world or soul society or Hueco Mundo! **_**Nobody**_** will be left standing if she****lives! Let me kill her! DIE, DIE, DIE!"**

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	8. Chapter 5: Return

**Disclaimer and A/N:**** I own nothing. Everything but the plot twists I've added belong to the mastermind that is Tite Kubo. If I owned Bleach, Ichiruki would have happened LONG ago. None of this is for profit, it's just for fun and to improve my writing skills. **

**PLEASE REVIEW ****so that each succeeding chapter is better than the previous :-) I'm done the next chap and will post it ****ONLY**** if I get 60 total**** reviews!**

**P.S. If anyone watches the show ****Supernatural****, check out my other fic titled ****FREAKS****! **

**This chapter's quote is from Mick Jagger! :D **

**WOO HOOO ! Over 2000 views :D :D :D :D :D ! Tears of joy right now : ) **

Thank you to all my reviewers! You guys are the reason this chapter's being posted : D

Thanks to:

=The romantic insanity (I'm so happy I can actually make people cry! That sounds so wrong but you know what I mean :P !)

=scottusa11

=lone ruler

=adamxero (don't worry, Rukia's actions will be explained! The question is whether or not Ichigo will let her explain once he finds her!;)

=JAC1996

=FinalReason

=Ultimate Black Ace (thank you so MUCH for your review! I especially liked your opinions on tatsuki's powers and hichigo's powers! Also, thanks so much for telling me about the third division mistake, I'll fix it asap!)

=Guest

=TheAnnoyingOne97 (thank you so much for answering my questions! Def going to try to put in some ishihime and psycho ichi now!)

A Special thank you to Ultimate Black Ace and TheAnnoyingOne97 for responding to my questions! : D You're answers are helping me mould the future character interactions/plot (:

I'm so sorry for the late update, my family came over from Ireland for two weeks and I didn't have the chance to log in! (They're actually still here, but only for a few more days! This is my only chance to update ;P)

Also the beginning starts off kind of slow, but it gets better! I rewrote the beginning scenes a couple of times and I'm still not happy with them : (

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Chapter 5: Return of the Forgotten and Unforgettable

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"_**I haven't had the time to plan returning to the scene**_

_**Because I haven't left it."**_

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"TOSHIRO WAKE UP OR GET OFF THE FIELD!" An angry and very irritated Karin Kurosaki yelled at her distracted teammate. Her screaming was hardly a surprise to those watching and participating in the weekly game.

She had passed the black and white ball (once again) to an oblivious Toshiro who (once _again_) let it roll right by him to the cleated feet of the opposing team.

Toshiro, who was momentarily retracted from his reveries by her screeching, mentally scoffed.

'_It's not my fault I have a lot on my mind.' _

'_Actually,'_ his brow creased '_It's __her__ fault' _

And so began another mental tirade centered around the black-haired girl who stubbornly refused to get out of his head.

"_She's the one who lost her powers. She's the one who begged me to make her powers stronger only to turn around and apparently not care when she lost them. She's the one who Yoruichi and that stupid shopkeeper keep teasing me about. She's the one who won't get out of my mind long enough for me to actually get some slee—"_

"TOSHIRO!"

Karin was currently annoyed beyond belief at their team's umpteenth loss of possession courtesy of a spaced-out Toshiro. Having enough of his inattentiveness, Karin grabbed the distracted boy's arm and yanked him to the sidelines. While crossing the splotchy line of white chalk, he raised his hand to sub off for Kazuya as she did the same to sub off with Heita.

The weekend had come, so as promised Karin was playing soccer with the boys and some other local kids. Even though this was only a friendly game in the park, Karin Kurosaki did _not_ lose. Sadly, the unfortunate scenario was only becoming more plausible for her team as her white-haired teammate kept, quite literally, passing the ball to the _other_ team.

Calming herself down, she looked at the boy and couldn't stop the concern that flashed in her wide slate eyes. She may not lose, but Toshiro was definitely the last person to ever be distracted or unmindful of his surroundings.

"What's wrong?" She asked the blue-eyed boy, while trying very hard to keep the worry from her voice.

'_You_.' Toshiro smartly stopped the remark from leaving his lips and instead responded cooly with, "Nothing's wrong. I am fine."

She raised her brow and gave him a skeptical look: '_Ya right'._

At her expression, he reiterated his words and hoped she would (for once) let the subject go. "Nothing is wrong Karin. I am fine. Now, go get a drink and then head back in for Kei; he has just played a double shift and looks exhausted."

She lowered her brow and frowned before lowering her voice and whispering to the young captain, "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Not for lack of trying on my part." She heard more then saw his smirk. Karin rolled her eyes at his quip and then did as she was told.

She wasn't dropping the subject, oh no…she was just storing it for later.

Right now, she had a game to go and salvage.

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Knowing how reluctant she was to leave without an explanation from him, Toshiro breathed a sigh of relief when she did. He needed a clear head to think about things and all his thoughts became muddled and blurry any time she was near him.

He internally growled at her ability to confuse him. _'How irritating.'_

Despite his decision to return to his thoughts, he stopped in order to watch the dark-haired girl play the game they both enjoyed. She had most definitely gotten better over the years. To be honest, her skills were most likely on par with his. She was good enough to give him a run for his money.

'_Well, at least, when I refrain from using shunpo.'_

Watching her shoot the ball and score the next goal (consequently tying up the game), he was reminded of the time all those years ago when he had first met her. During said encounter, he had thought she was a suicidal lunatic when her younger version had tried to use a _soccer ball _of all things to attack a hollow on the field.

Of course, he was forced to reconsider his analysis of her sanity when he saw her ability to insert her reiatsu into the ball. That had outright baffled him. He had never seen anyone, shinigami included, merge their reiatsu into something other than a zanpaktou. The fact that she could keep her reiatsu infused with the object after she had released it (thereby loosing all physical contact with the object) only served to confuse him further.

Her possessing that ability had spoken volumes about her spiritual pressure. Toshiro highly suspected it was her substantial amount of reiatsu that had initially attracted the masked beast to the field where she and the boys were playing. His mouth turned upwards into a small smirk at the memory. Even back then, she had stubbornly refused to run away, choosing instead to stay with him and use her powers to help save her friends.

Karin being "just fine" about losing the powers that were once the only way she _could_ protect her family and friends was obviously a cover. Even though Toshiro could tell she was being honest about not knowing what had happened to her abilities, he could also tell that not having them frightened her.

She was putting on a mask of nonchalance to hide her fear of what had happened, but Toshiro could easily see through it. He always could with her.

To have undergone something as serious as losing every iota of power and still not having a clue as to how or why was enough to frighten anyone. There was something weird and off-base with her situation, and Toshiro was going to figure it out for her.

"You know, if you keep frowning eventually your face will get stuck like that permanently."

He was awoken from his thoughts by the same girl said thoughts swirled around. As his gaze focused on her and their surroundings, he came to realize that the game had finished and he been so distracted that had missed the tradition hand shake at the end.

He lamented his error. Now Karin's suspicions would grow even more.

Said girl grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the playground adjacent the field. The shorter girl then proceeded to force him onto a bright orange swing. This was accomplished despite his numerous protests and objections, ranging from his "honour as the captain of the tenth division of the most powerful army in both worlds" to "Karin let go of me, dammit!"

Soon after he was seated, she sat herself in the lurid yellow swing next to him. After doing so, she then gave him a look that he knew all to well: it was the look she used anytime she was trying to read his thoughts. In other words, the look that worked too damn well for her own good.

"Tell me what's wrong Toshiro. The way you were completely oblivious to the game and how distracted you were earlier…it must be something pretty bad."

Concealing his emotions (a trait he had perfected during his years in the Rukongai), he parroted his earlier answer.

"Nothing is wrong. I am fine."

Seeing him put on the emotionless facade she hated, Karin immediately reverted to her teasing self in hopes to get a rise out of the boy.

Annoyance was far from pleasant, but it was better than complete apathy.

"If you tell me, I'll be your _bestest_ friend in the _whole_ world."

He knew exactly what she was trying to do with her batting eyelashes, playful tone and laughing grey eyes. Nonetheless, he couldn't control the smirk that pulled at his lips.

"Is that supposed to be an incentive?"

Mock-pouting at his response, she continued her pestering.

"Why of course! And if my coveted friendship wasn't enough of a pull factor, I'll even add in Yuzu's cooking. So, here's the deal: tell me what has gotten the _almighty_ Captain Hitsuguya's mind in a twist and I'll _maybe _consider having you over for lunch today."

At her smile, he very nearly caved. He had a suspicion that if her smile persisted, it could make him divulge to her every thought that had ever crossed his mind.

"And don't worry about Ichi-nii. He called in this morning and said his coach is forcing him to go to some out of town soccer training camp. He'll be gone for the entire weekend."

As soon as she mentioned the powerless older Kurosaki, Toshiro was instantly reminded of his earlier worries. _'Karin, what did you do? How could you have lost everything and not remember anything?'_

Seeing him fade away into the paradigms of his mind yet again, Karin made a final effort to pull him back to her. Carefully, she attempted to approach the earlier subject yet again.

"If you don't want to tell me, I can't force it out of you. But, I can tell you that you'll feel a lot better if you have someone to share it with."

"Good advice. You would do well to follow it."

At her confused expression, he sighed and elaborated.

"Karin, I know that you're…worried…about how you lost your powers. Nobody could blame you for being scared or wanting help. You have to trust me; I could help you find out why and maybe even help you get them back. But, you have to tell me that you want my help in this."

At the ire rising in her grey eyes, he could tell he had angered her.

At her silence and tight mouth, he could tell she was furious.

Even if those hints weren't enough, her abruptly getting off her swing and walking away in a huff would have notified even the densest of individuals (hell, even Abarai) to her mood.

Toshiro knew her well enough to know that chasing after her would be fruitless; she would just go faster in the opposite direction. Instead, he'd give her some time to think over his offer.

Besides, if he were to begin to chase her now…

…he wasn't entirely sure he would stop.

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As Karin opened the door, she wasn't completely surprised as to who was waiting patiently on the other side of the threshold.

Annoyance overriding her guilt, she asked bitterly, "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you to let me in."

He smiled. Then, after a pause, she smiled in return as they both silently acknowledged their unspoken apologies. However, despite both their clemencies, Karin was not about to let him cross the sill without owning up to his side of the bargain.

While the two teammates stood at a standstill at the doorway, an innocent Yuzu popped up behind her twin, after having wondered what was taking her sister so long at the door. She was happily surprised to see the visitor."

"Oh Toshiro! How nice to see you!" The brunette exclaimed brightly.

"Hello Yuzu. Thanks again Karin, for _inviting_ me over for lunch. Yuzu, I hope that's no inconvenience?"

There was a part of him (the childish one he liked to hide from most others) that absolutely delighted in the fact that he knew _exactly_ how to get under Karin's skin.

Yuzu waved her hands in acceptance and happily replied that it was no problem at all and that it would be nice to "have another person at the table" since the eldest two Kurosaki's were still out of town.

"Come in, come in! I made tomato onigiri with grilled vegetables and rice!" An excited Yuzu then told them to follow her as she made her way to the kitchen. She walked ahead quickly, most likely to open up the better dishware now that she knew they were having company.

As he followed the bubbly twin, the childish part of him grinned wildly when he walked by a dumbfounded Karin.

* * *

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* * *

After the initial shock at Toshiro pretty much inviting himself over and somehow managing to avoid his part of the deal, Karin decided to take the soonest possible opportunity to pester him. She was determined to find out what was plaguing her friend's mind.

Midway through the lunch, Yuzu was beginning a long response to another one of Toshiro's questions. As Yuzu's attention was engrossed in telling her story, the dark-haired twin whispered under her breath to the boy next to her.

"The deal was that you would tell me what was bugging you."

Still not looking away from Yuzu (in order to seem like he was listening to her reply), Toshiro whispered back.

"I know…I haven't forgotten. I'll hold up my end of the bargain."

Satisfied that she would get his explanation later, she chose to just enjoy the chance to actually spend time with both her twin and friend.

'_Maybe lunch won't be so bad after all.'_

"…And then Mai-chan and I went to the mall together for a bit. We actually saw so many students from school there this morning. We saw Keno-kun, Linlee-chan, Abaru-kun, Seiko-chan, oh! I almost forgot! Karin, we saw Adam-kun there today and he told me to tell you that he would come over around four to get you!"

'_Scratch that.' _She had spoken too soon.

Adam Tsukima had been nothing but irritating since the day he started at school earlier in the week. After his initial smile to her, the boy kept on being…well…being _nice_ to her and _overly_ so. He opened doors for her, offered to carry her books to and from class, and waited by her locker to walk her to class. All this continued despite Karin purposely walking through alternate doors, refusing to give him her books, and avoiding her locker.

To make matters worse, he ignored every other girl. Thus, _logically_, every other girl in the class was angry at _her_.

Teenage girls were quite honestly the pettiest things Karin had ever had the displeasure of encountering. Luckily for her, they were also fickle. When Toshiro joined their class, the girls found him equally "gush worthy" and stopped glaring at Karin for "stealing the hot one".

Of course, this immense female attention on her white-haired friend had annoyed her further, for reasons she really didn't want to investigate.

Now, turning back to the conversation at hand.

Yuzu, seemingly ignorant of Toshiro's paling knuckles, continued to speak. "You know Karin, I think you should really give him a chance. I mean, he obviously likes you a lot. I mean, look at how he acts around you! Don't _you_ think Karin should give him a chance, Toshiro?"

Toshiro responded callously.

"She's free to date whoever she wants. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. I couldn't care less who she spends her time with or dates."

If the two sitting across from her had taken the time to notice, they would have seen the small frown that replaced (only for a second) the warm smile on Yuzu's face. They would have seen that she had hoped for a different answer from the boy.

Angered (but not entirely sure as to why) at his response, Karin responded in kind.

"You're right Toshiro. It is none of your business who I spend my time with. But, for your information, he isn't here to pick me up for a date. Taboto-sensei paired us up for the geography project since he sits right behind me. Now, I'm going to pack my stuff since he's going to be here soon."

She rose from her seat, turned, and after thanking Yuzu for the fabulous lunch she made her way up the stairs to her room. Huffing at her antics, Toshiro stayed in the kitchen and offered to help Yuzu with the dishes. As he looked down to begin clearing the table, he didn't notice the disappointed look that returned briefly to Yuzu's face.

Once again, it remained only for a second.

Once again, no one had looked long enough to notice.

Just as Toshiro deposited the dirty dishes into the sink and Yuzu began to clean them, the door bell rang. Since Yuzu's hands were wet, Toshiro offered to answer the door.

As he turned the golden knob, he came face to face with the blonde that was currently grating on his every nerve.

Said boy was obviously surprised at the person who came to greet him.

"Hitsuguya-kun? Oh, I'm sorry. I must have the wrong hou—"

Toshiro cut him off sharply. "You have the right house."

As an awkward silence joined the two, Toshiro took his time to examine the boy in front of him. He was tall, but only an inch (at most) taller than himself. He had blond hair that was straight and winged out at his ears. He had a sturdy figure, but Toshiro knew he could easily beat the boy in a physical confrontation. From what Toshiro had seen, the boy seemed polite enough.

Analysis complete: Karin could do _much_ better.

Upon sensing the killing intent emitting from the shorter boy, Adam just smiled in return. His smile momentarily caught Toshiro off guard. There was something oddly familiar about the kid's smile…

However, he didn't have enough to process the thought because Karin came up from behind him (backpack loaded with geography notes), greeted the American, and shut the door right in Toshiro's face as she walked out.

Even though he was slightly miffed at her lack of a good bye, he continued to scan his memories in order to determine where he had seen that smile before. For some reason, he had an uncanny notion that he had encountered the boy before…

What worried the young captain was that the feeling that the smile elicited in him was far from good.

* * *

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* * *

As Karin walked along the sidewalk, she knew she was in a foul mood. She was still annoyed at the white-haired (despite his current height) _midget_ currently washing dishes in her home _and_ she was now being forced to do an assignment with the new kid that wouldn't stop stalking her.

The weather seemed to match her mood as it had morphed from the clear sky it had been earlier when she was at the park into a cloudy, dark-grey canvas.

The boy seemed oblivious to her temper as he continued to fill the silence with his prattle about ideas for the project. However, Karin had tuned him out a while ago and was instead imagining a decapitated tenth division captain.

'_Doesn't care? So what, he couldn't care less what happens to me? Geese some…friend he is. God I wish I could just knock some sense into that stubborn, SHORT, head of hi—"_

"Umm, Karin?"

Her dark musings were halted by Adam's deep voice and she sighed. Despite his annoying gestures, he didn't deserve to be completely ignored. The same, however, could not be said for certain _others_.

"Sorry…I'm just a bit distracted."

At her apology he smiled. "Oh, it's no problem at all!"

Still feeling a bit guilty for ignoring him earlier, Karin figured she would start the next conversation.

"So, umm…are you sure your parents won't mind us working on the assignment at your house?"

"Parents?" He looked confused for a second before his eyes lit up in realization. "Oh, yes…my parents. Well, my mom…is still in America. My dad is…out."

Hearing his hesitations at her earlier enquiry, she assumed he must not like talking about his family. Trying to steer the topic in a different direction, she continued. "For an American, you speak Japanese very well. You don't even have an accent."

"…Well…I moved…back and forth between my parents for my entire life…I had to learn both Japanese and English."

Feeling as if she was constantly saying the wrong thing, Karin tried to amend the situation. "I-I'm sorry about your parents."

'_Maybe I had him all wrong. Yuzu's right, I should give him a chance. The kid's new and probably doesn't know a lot of people here. And even though his gestures are weird, they're kind of nice.' _

After resolving to give the kid a fair chance she looked around and realized they had walked down into the old industrial section of Karakura. Old factories and storage units towered above them on both sides. "So where exactly is your house?"

"Oh, don't worry." He smiled. "This is just a…short cut. We're almost there."

She accepted his answer and the two continued to walk at a leisurely pace. However, the sky seemed to have different plans for them as it opened up and let loose mass amounts of rain. The water falling mercilessly on them was soon accompanied by thunder and lightening marring the sky as the storm grew.

Seeming irritated, Adam (who was already drenched) grabbed her hand and ran a bit further down. Testing the different doors of the buildings adjacent the path they had been walking on, he finally found one that was open and pulled her inside with him.

It was dark. The only light in the huge building came from a few dusty windows just below the ceiling. Seeing large numbers of old boxes of various sizes as well as what appeared to be an obsolete assembly line, Karin deduced they were currently in an old manufacturing building of sorts.

Seeing their surroundings, Adam shrugged casually and spoke in resignation. "I guess this will have to do."

Confused, the girl turned to face him.

He smiled at her, his eyes adopting a strange glint. "You're soaked."

She scoffed, "Brilliant observation Sherlock." She pointed at his attire. "In case you haven't discovered it yet, so are you."

Karin became slightly uneasy as his smile grew. "Well, let's fix that then." Slowly, he pulled his soaked shirt off of his torso. Once it was removed from his body he tossed the wet garment away into the darkness. Stepping closer to the stunned Karin, he put his hands on her hips and roughly pulled her close. Putting his mouth to her ear, he hissed,

"Your turn."

Coming out of her initial shock at his actions, Karin nervously replied. "N-No, I-I think I'm fine."

At his tightening grip she immediately started to try to push herself away from the boy. _"What's going on? What's he doing!"_

Rolling his eyes at her increasing attempts to free herself from his grip, the boy appeared annoyed as he spoke once more. "Oh well, I can always take a peek after."

Still struggling against his hold, she stopped her numerous protests and threats long enough to ask in confusion, "After what?"

Apprehension crawled up her body as his grin grew to an unnatural size. Karin looked on in horror as his blonde hair darkened, his eyes changed, and his skin paled.

Karin's fear of what was happening before her forced her to acknowledge that everything Toshiro had said this morning was true. She _was_ scared after losing her powers. She was scared because now she powerless to protect her friends and because now…

…She was powerless to protect herself.

* * *

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* * *

Back at the Kurosaki residence, Toshiro was still helping Yuzu with the dishes and pondering on where he had seen Adam's eerily familiar smile before. However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't place where he had seen the grin. As a result, Toshiro was steadily growing more and more worried about leaving Karin alone with the boy.

"_What is it about him? His smile…I've seen him before, I'm sure of it. Even his voice... I know I've heard it before. Come on Toshiro, think! Where have you seen him befo—_

_FUCK!"_

Dropping the dish that he was currently drying back into the soapy water, Toshiro quickly apologized to Yuzu and excused himself. He swirled around, immediately ran out of the house, and exited his gigai. Not having the time to find a mod soul, he just deposited the gigai on the roof of the Kurosaki clinic.

Right now, his first priority was finding Karin as soon as possible.

* * *

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* * *

Karin looked on in horror as the boy's features morphed right in front of her. Instead of the Adam she had become accustomed to, she was now staring at a black-haired male with light purple eyes. But, the boy…the _creature_ in front of her was far from human. Its pale skin had strange diamond-like shards of various sizes embedded into it along his face and neck.

An alarming thought flew to the forefront of her mind.

"_Nobody knows where I am…"_

And for the first time in Karin's life, she was absolutely terrified.

* * *

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* * *

Yuzu looked on in confusion. Something must have seriously troubled Toshiro for him to leave as hastily as he did.

She momentarily wondered what could have caused the boy's frantic state, but then assured herself that she was probably just making a big deal out of nothing.

* * *

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* * *

Karin looked at the creature gripping her arms in terror as she screamed the question that had been swirling in her mind from the moment she saw him change.

"W-Who are you!"

* * *

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* * *

'_Where are you? Where are you? God Karin where the hell are you!'_

Toshiro Hitsuguya was known for many things. Being able to keep a cool head in the midst of chaos was one of those things. So, taking a deep breath, the young captain calmed himself down.

Karin no longer had any spiritual pressure, so Toshiro knew wouldn't be able to sense her.

However, _he_ did and Toshiro was sure that he could sense _him_.

Unfortunately, Toshiro had been trying to do so for the past five minutes and nothing was happening.

"_Why can't I sense him?"_ Toshiro thought in frustration. _"I don't have any time to lose. Karin's life is in danger."_ He concentrated harder; desperately trying to find the large spirit pressure he knew he should be able to sense.

Toshiro was so engrossed in his search for the abnormal spirit pressure that he almost didn't notice that someone was coming up behind him.

Upon finally sensing the other individual he immediately recognized the man's signature. Turning to face the male, Toshiro's face twisted into a snarl as he asked the man, with pure anger saturating his tone,

"Where is she Urahara?"

"Who? Dear me Toshiro, you really should stop being so vague all the time. Some people might start to find it annoyi—"

Urahara's response was cut short when Hyorinmaru was pressed against his throat.

"Tell me where she is! I have to get to her _now_! She's with—"

"I am aware of who our little Karin is with." The man with the pinstriped hate sighed as he cut off Toshiro's panicked words.

'_Then why…' _Realization dawned on Toshiro. It only took him half a second to understand the shopkeeper's intentions…and to realize why his feline sidekick wasn't there next to him. His absolute _fury_ and _disgust_ at the man's actions was evident in his accusation.

"You're using her as _bait_."

The older man tipped his hat and smiled. "Accurate as always captain."

Hyorinmaru was pressed harder against Urahara's neck as the young captain demanded an answer. "Where the hell is she Urahara? Do _not_ make me ask again!"

"Well, I can honestly say that I'm not one hundred percent sure. However, I would hope that, since I kindly requested for Yoruichi-chan to keep an eye on her, that the two ladies are in the same vicinity. So, I do hope, that if you were to try and find our Ruichi's signature…"

Urahara stopped speaking. Toshiro was already long gone.

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* * *

The bo-_creature_ in front of her smiled at her question.

"Tut tut, wrong question Karin. You shouldn't be asking _who _I am…" Karin's terror intensified as the male's two arms turned into eight "You should be asking _WHAT_ I am!"

He smile was cruel and insane. Karin was still trying futilely to call for help.

"Help! Please! Someone hel—"

A third arm pressed its palm harshly against her mouth.

He brought his mouth to her again and Karin cringed as his breath fanned against her ear. "Shhhhh…we wouldn't want anyone else coming in before I'm finished, now would we? Don't worry…" The maniacal gleam in his eyes intensified and he smiled "…you'll only feel it for a second!" Another two white appendages rose above his body and sharpened into white spearheads.

As they descended towards her, Karin could do nothing but scream against the monster's hands.

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* * *

Toshiro heard her.

He heard Karin's scream just as he was nearing the building.

But he was too far away.

He couldn't make it.

He was too late.

'_KARIN!'_

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* * *

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die.

It didn't for Karin. Then again, she always was an anomaly.

Instead of her life, Karin's pre-mortem thoughts had included a montage of the most important people in it. She saw her dad's stupid but amusing antics during breakfast, her brother's friendly scowl as he gave Karin her first soccer ball, her twin's bright smile as she and Karin talked before falling asleep, the boys' joy at winning the game against the high schooler's all those years ago, Ruki-nee sketching her one of her infamous drawings, the day a spiky white-haired shinigami had extended his hand to her after saving her life, and her mother's bright tangerine hair and warm laughter.

Their faces passed through the back of her lids like a nostalgic montage, hiding the spears that were making their way towards her body. Her last thoughts echoed in her mind like a desperate prayer.

'_I don't want to die…please don't let me die…I never said goodbye to them…'_

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* * *

To Luppi's utter shock, his spears went through air.

The girl had disappeared.

'_NO!' _Anger flooding through the ex-sexta espada he screamed. "Where are you!"

Karin, still powerless, couldn't see what was holding her. She briefly wondered if it was Toshiro, but the arms pressing against her were too thin. Well, whoever it was, was probably on her side considering they had just saved her life.

Unknown to the shocked Karin, she was currently in the arms of a worried Yoruichi. _'Too close.'_ The cat woman thought as looked at the shocked girl in her arms.

Karin's invisible saviour sighed in relief as a furious Captain Hitsuguya broke through the east wall of the building. Toshiro immediately charged at the arrancar with murder screaming from his darkened eyes.

Yoruichi's sigh of relief quickly turned into one of disbelief as she realized the young captain's current state: he had unsealed the power inhibitor.

The young captain's eyes became empty voids as he looked at the monster that had tried to kill Karin. "I do not care how you survived. You are _dead_." With that, Hyorinmaru began its attack.

As Luppi countered ice shards with his arms, he grinned maliciously "OH! Well look at that! A captain! The ice one. Oh I remember _you_! Unfortunately, before I get to kill you, I still have to finish what I started."

With that, Luppi used sonido to flash away from the homicidal captain.

"Come on Karin! No more hide and seek, tell me, where are you?"

Although she couldn't hear Toshiro directly, she deduced his presence from the creature's remarks and the ice making its way up the walls of the abandoned building. At the creature's taunts, she did nothing but grip on tighter to her saviour.

Karin was powerless and she was terrified because of it.

'_I-I really could have died.'_

"Luppi's only trying to _help_ you! Now tell me: Where. Are. You! "

His voice was getting angrier and she couldn't tell where it was coming from anymore. It just seemed to bounce off the walls in every direction.

She briefly wondered if there was a way out. Toshiro had left a large hole in the building on the east side, but that was so far away. Obviously, the person who had saved her was trying to find a way to leave the building without alerting the creature, apparently named "Luppi". All the while, things were exploding everywhere and ice was forming on the rubble. Evidently, Toshiro was still fighting against Luppi.

Unknown to Karin, Toshiro was screaming at Luppi to only fight him and to leave her alone.

Speaking of, the two males were currently in a stalemate. Toshiro had frozen all but one of the creature's arms. Said arm was blocking Hyorinmaru from decapitating him. "What do you want with her arrancar? She's just a human!"

As if this was all a game, Luppi started to laugh. Slowly, his laughter became louder and was soon resounding off the walls. "You-you all really don't know! I'm helping _you_! I'm _saving_ you!" With a hard shove, Luppi pushed against Hyorinmaru and removed himself from their deadlock. With immense strength he wretched his other appendages out of the ice and began a full assault on Toshiro.

Too busy trying to block the arrancar's onslaught of attacks, Toshiro couldn't even process what the creature was implying with his words.

"Every single one of us! Whether you belong here or to Soul Society or Hueco Mundo! _Nobody_ will be left if _she_ lives! Let me kill her! DIE, DIE, DIE!" With this, the arrancar kept frantically attacking the worn out captain.

Toshiro was exhausted. He had already lost ten of his petals. This was bad.

He felt the eleventh petal shatter and his worry deepened.

This was _very_ bad.

* * *

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* * *

Yoruichi was currently thinking the exact same thing as the young ice captain.

She knew Toshiro's time was wearing thin and was currently cursing Kisuke for not having shown up.

Toshiro was trying to distract the creature in order for the two to escape, but even Yoruichi knew that coming out of hiding was too dangerous. The second Luppi spotted Karin he would use an appendage to kill her.

The Shihouin princess didn't have the element of surprise on her side this time, and at the arrancar's current power level, she had no doubt that he was faster than even her.

The fact that this creature, one who she remembered to be one of the lower arrancar, had increased so much in power concerned her deeply.

As she saw the captain's twelfth petal disintegrate, she could only parrot her earlier thoughts.

'_This is **really** bad.'_

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* * *

"Uh oh! Looks like the captains have gotten weaker since last time. How _boring_! But, no matter…"

The creature smiled as his gaze turned towards where Yoruichi was hiding Karin.

"I've found her!"

* * *

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* * *

To the complete surprise of everyone in the building, a dark line appeared in mid-air and zipped between Yoruichi's location and Luppi. The dark slit extended vertically, with what appeared to be jagged teeth. Then, it opened with a horrible sound.

The two shinigami who knew what it was gapped in surprise.

'_A garganta!'_

Karin, who until this point was completely blind to the happenings around her, became bewildered as her spirit vision started to return. Slowly, she saw the purple hair of the woman holding her and the exhausted countenance of the ice captain.

The joy at the thought of gaining back her abilities was immediately halted when she saw the figure that emerged from the horrid black mouth in the air between her and her friend.

She spoke lowly, in complete incomprehension and bewilderment.

"Ruki-nee?"

* * *

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* * *

Yoruichi and Toshiro's dread only exacerbated upon seeing Rukia of all people emerge from the black abyss. Once again, their thoughts were the same. '_What is going on?'_

Despite their eyes on her, she had no eyes for them. Rukia, or something that looked exactly like her, only had her glare set on one person.

Luppi.

Finally, she spoke. Her voice empty as she addressed the arrancar. "You have made a grave mistake Luppi."

The dark-haired arrancar looked at her in absolute fear. Toshiro's confusion and surprise intensified as he witnessed the arrancar forget about Karin and immediately started to beg the Kuchiki princess.

"Please! Please don't take me back! I'm helping you! Don't you see? I'm saving everyone! Plea—"

Luppi's pleas were cut short as a large arm extended out of the black abyss from behind Rukia. Quickly, the alabaster hand darted towards Luppi and its thick fingers circled around the arrancar. In no time at all, the ginormous hand (seemingly made of sand) retreated into the mouth while holding onto the ex-espada.

Luppi was not silent as he was pulled towards the gateway to Hueco Mundo. "Kill her! Either _she_ dies, or we will ALL die! _Kill_ her!"

And with that, the screeching Luppi was pulled behind the jagged teeth. As soon as he was out of sight, a silent Rukia turned and walked back into the dark mouth.

Then the teeth closed before Yoruichi, Toshiro, or Karin could process what the hell had just happened.

* * *

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* * *

"Will you just _answer_ the question!" A furious Toshiro was currently yelling at his dark-haired friend.

Annoyed at his tone, the girl responded in typical snark and crossed her arms.

"I thought it was rhetorical."

Feeling what he was sure was the precursor to an aneurysm, Toshiro grabbed his head in frustration.

She had almost died. She had almost freaking _died_ not even five minutes ago and what was she doing? Refusing to answer him!

In absolute irritation, the captain grabbed her (still-soaked) form and glared at her.

Karin being Karin, glared right back.

"Do you not understand? He tried to kill you!"

"Of course I 'understand' Toshiro, _I was_ _there_!"

"And you're telling me you have no idea why!"

"Like I've said a hundred times over: I. DON'T. KNOW!"

There was a part of him that knew he was being irrational. He was taking out his frustrations on her, the one person that deserved it the least. Instead, his efforts should be on focused on _killing_ the shopkeeper. '_Speaking of that bastard, where is Yoruichi?'_

Scanning their surroundings quickly, he deduced that after dropping off Karin with him, Yoruichi had disappeared. He mentally scoffed. She had probably gone to report back to that soon-to-be-_deceased_ shopkeeper to inform him on what had transpired.

Acknowledging his misplaced anger, he sighed and apologized to the girl in front of him.

Nonetheless, he was still angry: angry at himself. He hadn't been there to save her.

Yoruichi had.

Moreover, if Rukia hadn't shown up and stopped Luppi, the arrancar would have killed Karin regardless of Yoruichi's initial interference.

Rukia's appearance and the emergence of the supposedly _dead_ arrancar were currently on the back burner in his mind though, because all he could think about was the fact that the girl in front of him had nearly just _died_.

Karin would have been dead. She could have been nothing but a plus, bound for Soul Society, where she would forget everything about snow-haired tenth division captains. And _he_ would have been the one who would have had to perform the konso and force her to forget everything they were to each other.

Karin could have died because of _him_.

He would have _lost_ her and it would have entirely _his_ fault.

"Stop it."

Her assertive voice cut into his mind and saved him from his thoughts. A bit hesitantly, the girl placed her hand on his arm. "Absolutely _nothing_ was your fault. You _saved_ me."

At her words Toshiro looked away in complete guilt. His face was contorted with disgust at himself—at his inability to protect her.

"No, I didn't. _Yoruichi_ saved you. _I_ was the one who didn't realize who he really was. _I_ was the one who left you alone with him. _I_ was the one who couldn't find you." He snorted derisively. "If it had been up to just _me_ you…you would have been _dead_." He whispered the last part, still unable to let the thought leave his mind.

Slowly the girl brought up her other hand and used it to turn his face back towards her. Deep blue met dark grey as the girl continued. Her voice softened as she reassured her friend.

"That's not true and you know it. None of this was your fault. Now stop acting so _stupid_. You and I both know that if you weren't here he would have found where Yoruichi and I were hiding right away. You. Saved. My. Life." After pausing for a moment she smiled. "Thanks _chibi_."

The resolution in her voice calmed him. Her use of his so-called "pet-name" was a reminder that she was here, in front of him. She was _alive_.

She was alive and here with him.

A blush slowly crawled up his neck as he realized just how inappropriate his thoughts were. She _shouldn't_ matter this much to him. When he noticed that her hand still hadn't left his arm, the touch only served to make the heat flush across his face faster.

Karin, however, was blissfully unaware of the embarrassed state of her friend due to the darkness permeating the building. The sky outside had long since welcomed the evening and the windows that were the sole providers of light to this forgotten infrastructure now just allowed the barest strips of deep vermilion and purple hues to grace the walls and floors of the old factory.

Karin cleared her throat to speak once more, her voice a bit louder. "Now come on, let's get out of here."

Toshiro let a genuine smile flash across his face as he began to follow her. He was fully aware that she was still holding on softly to his arm.

He didn't even have to look down to confirm it.

The weird churning in his stomach and tingles jumping up his arm served as incontrovertible proof of her touch.

Unfortunately, that rare smile turned into a familiar frown as he quickly pulled Karin behind him. He pressed her tightly against his back with one arm as the other grabbed the hilt of Hyorinmaru. His glare deepened as the members of the stealth force appeared in front of him, meer inches away from where Karin had previously stood.

Soi Fon stepped forward and spoke in her trademark cold and direct manner.

"Squad 10 Captain Toshiro Hitsuguya: did you or did you not release your seal without permission from the Seireitei?"

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* * *

'_Dammit.'_

Not only was Toshiro now subject to suspension for releasing his seal without permission, but he would have to be the one to inform the Sou-Taichou as to the events that had transpired in the living world. Moreover, he would have to be the one who dealt with the Sou-Taichou's reaction after said report.

This report would include the arrancar returning with new abilities (including the ability to shapeshift and completely hide their spiritual pressure from shinigamis, a feat making them potentially undetectable), the appearance of an ex-espada who was confirmed to be dead, the fact that the arrancar were currently after ex-substitute shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki's little sister, and that said sister had lost every ounce of spiritual power but was now miraculously able to see spirits again.

Oh, and the Kuchiki princess was voluntarily in Hueco Mundo.

Toshiro's grip on Karin tightened as he stared down the captain of the second division. One thought was repeating on a continuous reel in his mind:

'_Dammit.'_

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**=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=[3-7-2-2-5-9]-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=**

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Gods this was a painful chapter to write :p I'm not entirely sure why, but I kept on forgetting words :S Like I knew the word I wanted to use, but I couldn't pinpoint it! Moreover, I had to vaguely write my way around a fighting scene (scenes which I tried very hard to avoid since I have no idea how to write one).

Speaking of which, I was wondering if anyone would consider** being my beta?** I've never had one before but I would really like it if I had someone who could read over for mistakes and someone who I could bounce ideas off of!

**Also FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS STORY: The shinigami somehow knew that Luppi was killed. Maybe Grimmjow bragged about it or something, I don't know. Also, Yuzu doesn't know about shinigami and Ichigo doesn't know that Karin knows about them. **

So, the **NEXT CHAPTER** will be posted once I get at least **60 reviews** : )

So hit the button below and **REVIEW**! (tell me about any mistakes I'm making or things I could do better next time!)

Here's the **title/quote for the next chapter: **

**Chapter 5.5: Forget-me-not Part II (you guys are smart enough to know what missing content will be revealed in this chap ;) **

**"One always learns one's mystery at the price of one's innocence" Robert Davies_, Fifth Business_**

I'm not giving away too much of a spoiler ;) What happened to Karin's powers? You'll have to find out next time!

**REVIEW : )**


	9. Chapter 55: Forgetmenot Part II

**Disclaimer and A/N:**** I own nothing. Everything but the plot twists I've added belong to the mastermind that is Tite Kubo. If I owned Bleach, Ichiruki would have happened LONG ago. None of this is for profit, it's just for fun and to improve my writing skills. **

**PLEASE REVIEW ****so that each succeeding chapter is better than the previous :-) I'm done the next chap and will post it ****ONLY**** if I get ****?**** more reviews!**

**In your reviews, I would really appreciate it if you shared your opinion on the following: **

**-How Ichigo gains back his powers/gets different ones**

**-If I should add some Ishihime or leave it where I left it**

**-If I should have someone for Chad (if so, who?) **

**-If you guys would like to see Tatsuki again? (if so, with or without powers)**

**-If you guys like Aizen as the villain, or would prefer someone else (if so who? Or would you like an OC)**

**-Do you guys like the psychotic hollow ichigo? Should I keep him crazy or tone him down? **

**P.S. If anyone watches the show ****Supernatural****, check out my other fic titled ****FREAKS****! **

**Also, for those who noticed, I chanced the image for this story : ) It's the first time I used photoshop and boy was it fun! I'm kind of dissapointed that we can only show a small version though : ( for those who cant tell whats in the photo: **

**At the very top:**

– **Rukia kissing Ichigo's forhead in the rain, presumably after a fight where he's been severly injured or killed. (a beautiful and touching photo I got from **

** : / / ( d o t ) c om/ image /photos /30400000 /Ichi Ruki -bleach-anime- 30418115 -600-422.j p g )**

**-below that we have the eyes of the hollow **

**A bigger version is found from the source: **

** : / / w w w ( d o t ) ( d o t ) n et /forums /members /u126784 /rasthug29 –albums –bleach –picture 90195 –ichigo –hollow -1( do t ) h t m l**

**To the right of the hollows bigger eye, we have Karin. Below that we have Toshiro. Both are from **

** : / / c ta rt ( d o t ) co m / ar t / A -little- bit-of -Heart-Hitsu Karin -26 6899 614 **

**To the left of Toshiro we have Rukia and then Ichigo. **

**Both are from**

** : / / images 2 ( do t )f anpop ( do t ) co m/ image /photos /890 0000 /Ichiruki –ichigo -and-rukia-sun-and-moon-8999339-600-480 ( d o t ) j p g **

**The background is from**

** : / / w w w ( d o t ) layoutsparks ( d o t ) c o m /pictures/red-16**

**And **_**FINALLY**_**:**

**The flowers strategically (cough cough sporadically) placed about the image are striped carnations! : ) This flower is from **

** : / / w w w ( d o t ) flick river ( d o t ) c o m / photos/ toddboland/ tags/ caryophyllaceae/**

**This chapter's quote is from **Robert Davies'_ Fifth Business _(a brilliant novel if anyone is interested in a good read! However, I do recommend skipped over the saint section (a section about midway in the book) if you aren't religious! Mainly because you won't get what he's talking about (I know I didn't!)! Davies writing style is fabulous and funny and the narrator's views on his life and the dispicable people in it (including himself) are very entertaining.

**So here it is: The long awaited second half. **

**What happened to Karin? **

**Find Out. **

**NOW : )**

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**Chapter 5.5: Forget-me-not Part II**

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**"_One always learns one's mystery at the price of one's innocence."_**

* * *

**16 months ago**

There is a unique connection that forms between brothers and sisters.

This unbreakable bond is forged and maintained by the inherent desire to care for each other, to protect each other, and to stand by each other's side. When push comes to shove, there is no one in the world that you would sacrifice more for.

There is also nobody in the world that you will _worry_ more for.

Karin Kursoaki was just that: a worried sister.

Something had happened to Ichi-nii. No matter how "normal" he tried to act, Karin could see right through it. He was playing through the motions of the day and hiding behind a false normalcy. He was doing it all so that no one could see the sadness that was threatening to overwhelm him. A sadness he only held because he would hate himself if he allowed others to feel it too.

She could identify what he was trying to do because, to be frank, she did the same frequently (albeit, more successfully then he did).

When their mother had died, Yuzu had taken over the "motherly" duties. She cooked, she cleaned, and she was quite honestly the glue that held together the, then, broken family. Karin couldn't be useful around the house like her twin, so she had resolved long ago that she would never burden her family with her sadness. She would never cry in front of them and never burden them with her personal troubles.

She had worn the mask for so long, that she had become an expert at identifying those who attempted to wear it themselves.

Right now, Ichi-nii was making one heck of a poor attempt.

It was obvious it had something to do with Ruki-nee—that much Karin was certain of. The young woman (who had grown to become an older sister figure to the twins) had not stopped by their house in over a month.

Karin wasn't as naïve nor as dense as those two seemed to be. She knew they were important to each other.

'_No, not important…necessary'_

They were _necessary_ for each other.

That much was evident from the utter loneliness that had engulfed her brother's eyes the second Ruki-nee had left.

'_But that's not all that happened to him is it?' _

Toshiro had provided her with the basic run down of what had happened to her brother. In order to save both worlds, Ichigo had been forced to give up his powers: a sacrifice which rendered him blind to the world he had given everything to save.

And to the girl that meant the world to him.

When she had asked the ice-captain a few weeks ago as to why her older sister couldn't just visit her brother in a gigai, Toshiro had sighed and then explained to her that Soul Society "just didn't work like that". Apparently, even nobles weren't given the opportunity to go into the living world whenever they wanted…something to do with "maintaining the balance."

Karin scoffed.

'_What a load of bull.'_

Deciding that glaring at the sky from behind the glass of her bedroom window wouldn't change the ridiculous laws of the Soul Society, she sighed and turned to face her night stand.

Upon doing so she groaned outloud when she read the bright red numbers shining on her alarm clock.

'_2:06 am'_

She had school in a few hours.

She had a _test_ in a few hours.

Said test was the reason Yuzu wasn't currently fast asleep on the other side of the room. Yuzu had gone over to her friend Mai's house to study for the history test. Out of courtesy Mai had extended the offer to Karin too; but, the dark-haired athlete had declined. Karin had claimed she had already studied for it extensively and that if she reread her notes one more time she would burn them.

And, despite her sister's suspicions, Karin had been telling the truth.

Yesterday, Toshiro had come to the living world and traced her spiritual pressure to the library. When the white-haired captain had entered the building, all he was able to see was the top of Karin's head as she was surrounded by old history texts. She had been attempting (unsuccessfully) to cram as many dates, wars, and political leaders into her brain as possible in order to get to her soccer game on time.

Seeing her distress, the captain had offered to help her.

She frowned at the memory. When she had asked the captain if he could afford to spend the time helping her (since he was most likely here on a mission), he had briefly acted uncharacteristically jittery and uneasy. At the time, she had just assumed it was because it was a mission he wasn't happy about getting.

Nonetheless, he persisted and said that he had the time and that his lieutenant could take care of the mission.

She had politely refrained from mentioning that she couldn't sense his lieutenant anywhere in Karakura.

So, deciding that she could use the help, she had let him aid her in her cramming efforts.

She fondly remembered the experience, and made note to study history with the captain again. It was, quite frankly, the one of the most interesting things she had ever done.

Originally, the young captain had planned to read the material she hadn't reached yet first, in order to provide her with brief summaries.

Of course, that plan immediately fell short (pun intended).

Apparently, "flappers" and "unions" and "loyalists" weren't in the Academy curriculum

Shame.

So she had explained the terms and concepts of the history of the living world to him, and by doing so had ended up learning the required material thoroughly.

Moreover, his views on the horrors that had occurred in the past were quite honestly some of the most profound that Karin had ever had the pleasure of listening to. And she didn't even _like_ history. His opinions on the possible reasonings and mindsets of the people had been eye opening and unique and could, on some perverse level, logically explain the mentality of some of the most fanatical dictators in history.

Once again, she had been reminded, that despite his youthful appearance, Toshiro had lived through (and fought) in numerous battles.

All in all, she was prepared for the test, won her soccer game and (despite her teammates' teasing about the "boyfriend" that had accompanied her to said game) deemed the day to have gone by well.

However, she _had_ been a bit disappointed later that night when (before leaving) Toshiro admitted that he may not be able to return for a year or so because of the post-war chaos going on in the Seireitei. And she was still embarrassed about how immature she had been about the whole thing.

After his admission, she immediately told him that his excuse didn't make any sense. He had come by numerous times over the past month, when the post-war chaos should have been at its rawest.

At her mention of the numerous visits, he once again adopted the uneasy countenance he'd had earlier at the library.

When he didn't have anything to say to her reasoning, she grew even more annoyed.

An annoyed Karin quickly turned into an angry Karin.

And an angry Karin soon morphed into a stupid Karin.

Without thinking, she had called him selfish.

She went on to complain about how she had helped him deal with his problems with what had occurred with Hinamori for the entire month, and now that she needed his help with her brother he was just leaving her to fend for herself. At her accusations, he looked immensely guilty and apologetic, but his contrite countenance was replaced with anger when she turned to walk away.

He had pulled her back and growled in irritation. He then raised his voice and told her that were things that she couldn't understand.

She had venomously replied that with him, there were always things she "couldn't understand" and that the fact that he always thought so only served to make her feel like he thought she was "stupid and untrustworthy."

At this, his anger seemed to fade.

He had then calmly told her how that was the furthest thing from the truth and gave her a solemn look before turning around and leaving.

They had never even _fought_ before. Sure they bantered, even playfully argued about miscellaneous things, but they had never outright yelled at each other.

She didn't want the last thing she said to him be words of anger. So, half hoping he heard and half hoping he didn't, she threw an apology into the air.

He threw one back.

After going through the memory again, Karin mentally berated herself for her earlier words. It had made her seem _way_ too desperate for his company.

'_Why was I so upset about him leaving anyways? It's not like I'll never see him again. He'll be back…'_

Shaking herself slightly in order to dismiss the unwanted feelings that she was beginning to sense somewhere above her gut, she decided to remember what had led her to that dangerous train of thought.

'_Oh yeah: The test, why I should be in bed, why Yuzu isn't in hers across the room…" _

Speaking of, it was good to have the room to herself tonight. If her twin had been there, she would have chastised and guilted Karin into getting to bed hours ago.

And Karin needed this time to think.

After all, if she was going to figure out how to get her brother's powers back, she needed plenty of time to go through options in her head and think of new ways to do so.

Despite Toshiro telling her it was "unheard of" and Urahara claiming that it was "impossible" (with a glint in his eyes that just screamed he was lying and knew that she knew he was), Karin was convinced that there had to be some way.

Yawning once more, Karin decided that her plotting would have to be saved for another time.

Preferably a time that wasn't in the middle of the night.

The, finally sleepy, fourteen-year-old sighed as she made her way to her bed. She pulled back the green and blue soccer bedspread and embraced the warmth offered by the duvet.

As her head sank into her pillow, Karin closed her eyes and hoped the sandman would work his magic her soon. She needed _some_ sleep if she planned on acing that test tomorrow and finding a way to help Ichi-nii.

She was in that fuzzy state between sleep and wakefulness when she sensed the presence of someone else in the room.

Cautiously opening her eyes, she felt her heart jump up into her throat when she saw that the individual was standing right next to her (almost) sleeping form.

Upon further observation, she was surprised to find that the figure her emitted no spiritual pressure, even though he was clearly not human.

Well, if the bone fragments and gaping hole in the middle of his bare torso were anything to go by.

The figure crouched down so his face was on level with hers. Upon realizing she was awake, the individual smirked and said, in an arrogant and deep voice,

'Let me guess: Ichigo's sister."

At her stunned silence, the male creature continued.

"So, which one are ya? Ya gotta name or what?"

Coming back from her initial shock at the man's appearance, she processed what he had said and scowled at his rudeness.

"You do realize it's incredibly rude to ask for someone's name without introducing yourself first, right?" Karin paused for a second before glaring "In fact, it's right under barging into their room at 2:30 in the morning." She pointedly looked to her nightstand, where the alarm stood as a proud reminder of the fact that if she didn't get to sleep soon, she was _so_ going to fail her test.

He looked a bit surprised at her snide comment, but quickly caught himself. He then raised a brow at the spitfire and mentally smirked. _'Oh this, this was going to be fun.'_

All the while, she was skimming the room looking for viable weapons in case this guy was some sort of nut job.

A proud smirk made its way to his lips as he replied,

"The name's Grimmjow."

"Why are you here?" She asked, suspicion lacing her tone.

Grimmjow's smirk grew as he replied.

"I'm an old friend of your brother's…In fact, we fought in the war together."

"Wonderful. And how does that have anything to do with me?"

To her surprise, instead of glowering at her attitude, he gave a loud bark of a laugh.

'_A fireball just like her brother. Oh, she's __**definitely**__ going to be interesting."_

At her confused look, he put on a saccharine smile – the one that always used to irritate her brother so much.

"Well, I though you might be interested in helping your dear brother get his powers back, but obviously you aren't so I'll just take my leave—"

"Wait!"

After hearing his statement and seeing him turn away from her, Karin immediately jolted into a standing position.

Screw history.

She wanted to be a nurse anyways.

Unknown to her, a malicious grin of triumph marred his face before it it morphed into one of nonchalance just milliseconds before he turned back to face her.

She gave a sigh of resignation and spoke in a lower voice. The last thing she needed was her father or someone barging in.

The fact that they hadn't already probably should have alerted her that something was amiss, but, she was too consumed by the thought of helping her brother to think about that.

Shame.

In the long run, it probably would have saved everyone a lot of trouble.

"Okay, okay you've got my attention. How do you plan on helping him?"

"Oh, I'm just the messenger. All I know is that since you're related to him, you can transfer some of your powers to him. Problem is that ya can't do it now cause you ain't a shinigami. Even if ya were one, you're so raw it could kill'im. You gotta train, get control over it. But, ya can't do it here. Ya gotta come to a place where your powers can grow without…well…killin' everything around ya."

Karin raised her brow in suspicion at the last part.

"And where exactly would I be going?" Of course, that was only one of many questions she had after his vague explanation.

He gave a conspiratory look at that. "Can't tell ya till ya agree."

Her suspicion hadn't wavered. She stayed silent as she thought over the situation.

"I'd make your decision fast if I were ya. Your brother ain't got a lot of time."

At her questioning look, he elaborated.

"When a shinigami loses their powers like he did, well let's just say there's a time limit to how long our way of fixing him will work."

Karin really didn't want to do this. Something about this entire situation seemed off. Despite this, she sighed. After Urahara turned her down again today and Toshiro's assurance that there was no way in all of Soul Society to get her brother's powers back, she knew she really didn't have any other options.

After everything that Ichigo had done for her, their family, for the whole bloody _world_…he deserved to be happy.

And Ichi-nii would never really be happy without his powers.

Unexpectedly, she sighed and turned to make her way to her bedroom door.

Hiding the worry from his voice, Grimmjow asked, "And where do ya think you're going?"

"Well, as tempting as the offer sounds, I'm not stupid enough to go into this thing half-assed."

'_Damn. Guess she ain't completely like him after all." _

Grimmjow mentally frowned. He had been ordered to bring her back willingly. He needed to find a way to convince her.

"I thought you wanted to _help_ your brother."

When her hand was safely around the doorknob, she turned to reply.

"I do."

She started to turn the nob. At her unwanted action, Grimmjow hastily asked again "Then where are ya going? We're going this way."

She turned and saw him pointing at the window.

Sighing, she spoke.

"Obviously, I'm going to tell my brother or someone what I'm going to do. I'm not so stupid that I'd up and follow anyone with telling someone in my family where I'm going"

'_Perfect!'_ The blue-haired male mentally smirked but outwardly scoffed.

"Ya sure okay, let's do that. Go and tell your "do it myself", prideful brother that his _baby sister _ is the reason he's going to get his powers back. In fact, why stop there? Let's go and tell the shop owner, the cat lady, even your dad! Let's tell everyone that Ichigo needs _you_ to bail _him_ out. I'm sure he'll just _love_ that. Better yet, how about—"

"Okay I get it!" She bit out angrily. She did _not _like being patronized.

Still irritated, Karin glared at the blue-eyed thing.

"This actually working…why should I even believe you?"

He smirked.

"Ya already do."

He started to close the large gap between them.

"And not like ya have any other options. Nobody else gives a damn that he lost his powers. We're the only ones that are interested in helping him."

Karin's voice was still a little hesitant as she spoke to the light-haired male currently standing in front of her window. She whispered, "Does Soul Society know about this?"

The figure in her room walked even closer to her and lowered his voice as he replied. "You and I both know that the Sou-taichou could care less about what happens to Ichigo now. It is better for everyone if they are not involved."

His eyes, which shone with a unique blue-ish hue, seemed sincere in their reasoning.

Nonetheless, Karin couldn't help but question 'the plan'. If they wanted to keep Soul Society out of it, that most likely meant that Soul Society wouldn't condone it.

"But if it's illegal, why would you–"

He cut her off smoothly, "We were allies in the war. He saved us all. It only makes sense that we would want to help him get his powers back."

She rolled the offer around in her head and tried to ascertain how she felt about it. To be honest, Karin wasn't entirely sure if she felt comfortable going behind Ichigo's back to do something like this.

'_But, in the end, he'll be happier because of it. He'll be able to see his friends again. And, he'll be able to see Rukia-neesan again…This time Ichi-nii, I'm going to save _you_.'_

With a newfound resolution saturating her voice, she looked up with determined eyes and gave her answer to her brother's old comrade.

"I'll do it."

* * *

She was told to put her hands over her ears.

She didn't, and immediately regretted not doing so.

Whatever path thing they were going running through, there was some sort of load, incessant, screeching that just kept getting louder and louder the further along they went.

Then again, she wasn't really the one "running".

She was on the guy's back.

After giving her a few minutes to change (before which had the audacity to laugh after she had demanded he leave her room so she had the privacy to put on dayware), he had, quite literally, picked her up like a sack of potatoes and flung her over his shoulders.

In response to her protests and struggles, he said something about her not being able to survive the trip to where they were going if she tried on her own.

Finally pulling her hands over her ears (it had been a difficult because of the inhumane speed at which they were going), she let out a breathe of relief.

Mentally, she had to keep repeating why she was putting herself through this.

'_Ichi-nii. I'm doing this for Ichi-nii.'_

So engrossed in repeating her inner mantra, she didn't realize that she had closed or eyes or that they had stopped moving. That is, until she was unceremoniously dumped onto the ground. Luckily it was some sort of white sand and hadn't hurt as much as it could of.

As she tried staggered to her feet, with no help whatsoever from the male currently looking over her head, to her chagrin she fell.

Finally noticing her, Grimmjow arched a brow and asked,

"What's wrong with you?"

She growled before adopting the sugary false voice that annoyed Toshiro.

"Oh, nothing much…Just disoriented, nearly deaf with chunks of sand in my eyes, and tired as hell. But please don't worry. After all, there's no need to be concerned about my well being."

Grimmjow arched is other brow before openly glaring at the girl's attitude. At first it had been entertaining, now it was irritating.

He wondered how much trouble he'd be in if he brought her back with no tongue.

Given that the bastard he was doing this for couldn't possibly sympathize with his situation, he decided he could make due.

'_Besides,'_ Grimmjow smirked in satisfaction. _'I'll get to take out my…frustration…with her later.'_

"…Hey! HEY! Are you even listening to me?"

Grimmjow looked down to face the girl that was still sitting on the alabaster sands.

When Karin was sure he was paying attention to what she was saying, she asked with as much confidence she could muster in the given situation.

"I said, _where_ are we?"

Grimmjow grinned widely, showing all of his pointed teeth. Then he roughly picked up Karin and turned her around by the shoulders.

"Welcome to Los Noches, your new _home_."

A/N I am so sorry for the postponed update. I was waiting for a beta since I really didn't like how this chapter turned out, but, oh well! This is just a "filler" chapter, so to speak. I just need to get that piece of the puzzle filled so I can move on to the reprecussions of it! Now THAT'S the good stuff ;)

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**Preview for next chapter:**

~MAJOR Ichiruki

~Some sisterly bonding

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_**75 Reviews in Total and I'll post up the next chapter!**_


	10. Chapter 6: Pass the Popcorn

_**Here Me Sing Chapter 6: Pass the Popcorn**_

A/N: I'm so sorry its taken me forever to update, I was incredibly busy with school work/family stuff : ( to be honest, I still am! So, I can't promise that I'll update after a set number of reviews, but reviews will definitely help motivate me to write the next chapter, **maybe even two before the break is over** and I, unfortunately, get back to tackling my schoolwork!

Also, **ignore** my previous "Preview for next chapter" I had to do some major reshuffling!

BELOW IS A **_TIMELINE_** OF EVENTS FOR THOSE WHO ARE CONFUSED/NEED A REFRESHER AFTER MY TERRIBLY LONG HIATUS:

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**TIMELINE OF EVENTS (REVEALED SO FAR)**

**Four years ago: **Toshiro and Karin meet, he plays soccer with her. (I know, I know, I'm fiddling with the timeline but I must to account for the fact that I made her older!)

**21 months ago:** Ichigo's first fight with Grand Fisher

**19 months ago:** Byakuya/Renji come to take Rukia from the living world. Ichigo loses his powers. He gets his powers back, saves rukia, etc.

**Pre Winter War:** Toshiro's visits become more frequent. Karin asks Toshiro to help make her stronger so she can join in the war effort alongside her brother (after overhearing a conversation on the matter between Ichigo and Rukia). Toshiro refuses.

**Winter War: **Happens like it did in the manga/anime, with a few differences I'll make note of as the story progresses.

**17 months ago:** Ichigo loses his powers and is unable to see Rukia. He pretends to be "normal". Toshiro is distraught over stabbing Hinamori, and Karin helps bring him back to normal.

**16 months ago: **Ichigo and Rukia have their falling out in the Shoten (nobody except for Urahara and Yoruichi know about their argument). Renji and others notice that Rukia has distanced herself from everyone. She goes all out on missions and gets Bankai/becomes lietenant. (I know this seems unrealistic in the given time, but bear with me!) . Ichigo distances himself from everyone and becomes cold/ aloof/ uncaring. Seeing his state, Karin (who has just shared another day with Toshiro) agrees to follow Grimmjow into Los Noches.

_**READ THIS: I also want to CLEAR UP SOME CONFUSION: Grimmjow was only PRETENDING to care about Ichigo when he tried to convince Karin to come with him! Like when he said I "fought with" your brother in the war, it was like a little inside joke for him because he meant "fought with" as in "fought against" whereas he knew Karin would interpret it as "fought alongside". Grimmjow is NOT friends with Ichigo, he just needed a way to get Karin to come to Los Noches willingly. **_**He was being sarcastic throughout most of their interaction.**

**A week ago: **Toshiro came (on a mission) to investigate the disturbances in the wall between the Real World and Soul Society. He joins Karakura High, right after they have a new student: Adam.

**Present Situation:**

**-**Ichigo is gone for the weekend (ostensibly, for a soccer training camp but he is actually at Urahara's to find a solution to his "problem")

-Luppi (who was posing as Adam) has just tried to kill Karin (_note: he had diamond shards in his skin and Toshiro wasn't able to sense his spiritual pressure, which is the main reason he couldn't identify Adam as Luppi_)

-Karin is initially saved by Yoruichi, but Toshiro is the one who ends up fighting against Luppi. During the fight, Luppi appears to be much more powerful then before so Toshiro is forced to take off his power seal (which I just learned is called a limiter :$ sorry for that!)

-Luppi is stopped by Rukia, who arrives via Garganta and forcibly takes Luppi back to Hueco Munco. (_note: Karin's supernatural sight came back to her when Rukia opened the garganta_)

-Toshiro is about to take Karin back home, but then Stealth Division members surround the duo and Soifon accuses him of removing his limiter without permission from the Sou-taichou.

-Orihime, Chad, and Uryu are in Soul Society. They've come to get Rukia to come back to Karakura for a while in order to make Ichigo come back to normal. (_note: they don't know about the falling out the two had 16 months ago)._ They meet up with Renji who tells them about how Rukia has become cold and distant.

_**If you are still confused about certain things, like how Karin is here and what happened to her memory, you **__**should**__** be! :P I haven't revealed what's happened yet!**_

Btw the reason I had originally split the chapter "forget-me-not" into two parts was to make readers think that the "light-haired" bluish-eyed "comrade of Ichigo's" was Toshiro. Just out of curiosity, _**was I able to trick anyone into thinking that the person who came into Karin's room was Toshiro**_**?** Tell me in a review : )

Disclaimer: I own none of the canon Bleach stuff, but the plot twists are mine : )

On with the story my dear readers!

* * *

"_All of life's a stage" ~William Shakespeare_

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: PASS THE POPCORN**

* * *

This chapter is **dedicated to Ashes2Ashes121**, your review was one of the main reasons I stayed up to write this chapter! Thank you to you and to everyone else who took the time to review! Special thank you to those who answered my questions! I'm really liking the isane/chad idea and am currently racking my mind to find a way to incorporate it in! Your reviews are my motivation to keep writing this story! : )

* * *

"_I think she was sent on a mission a few days ago. I'm not entirely sure; I never really am with her. She doesn't exactly talk to me much anymore…seems like anything I know about her nowadays is what I hear through Matsumoto's gossip or from some of her more talkative subordinates. Based on what I heard from them, I'm pretty sure she's supposed to be back today. Come on, you can hang out at sixth with me until she returns"_

Ishida sighed as he reflected on Renji's words from five days ago.

The quincy frowned.

'_Five days. Her mission, which was only supposed to take her two days at most (according to her captain), was supposed to be done with five days ago. Something must have happened…'_

His comrades agreed with his analysis. Consequently, Renji is currently leading the three to the Soutaichou's abode with the goal of gaining his permission to go search for her.

'…_Five days…'_

* * *

It's been five days of shit.

Absolute _shit_.

Ichigo can't remember why he thought that Urahara could help him, but whatever reason he had has been buried under five days of absolute, has he mentioned it yet? _Shit_.

Ichigo's frustration continues to grow as he takes in his surrounding. Once again, he is just _sitting_ in front of the crazy shopkeeper and Yoruichi.

They're drinking _tea_.

They are just lazing around, drinking their bloody _tea_ while Ichigo's hollow is threatening to take over him and _kill_ everyone.

Unfortunately, Ichigo doesn't really have any other options. The vizard are in Soul Society. His old man has been avoiding the topic of shinigami since the fight with Aizen. And Ru…_there is no one else_.

He shakes his head slightly, and internally reprimands himself. He hates that his mind always lets his thoughts get tangled up with memories of her. It doesn't help that the silence that's been consuming the past five days of his life has provided no distraction from his unacceptable contemplations.

Finally, the owner of the Shoten breaks the unbearable silence saturating the room.

"So it seems we've reached a dilemma…" Urahara begins.

Ichigo waits for the rest of his sentence but is annoyed to find that his mentor is taking a (largely overstated) pause in order to procure another sip of his tea.

A minute passes by.

Then another.

And another.

Ichigo twitches.

Urahara smirks.

Yoruichi just rolls her eyes at the familiar situation.

"…. it seems the only way to control your hollow is to fight him back … Yet, you require your powers to do that ..."

Urahara decides to indulge in another exaggerated pause. This time, it takes every iota of self-control Ichigo has acquired over the past sixteen month to not yell at his mentor.

In lieu of losing his temper, the ex-substitute settles for tightening his fists beneath the table, out of the line of sight of his trainers.

After becoming reacquainted with the silence, Ichigo senses that Urahara is not going to continue. So, the young man prods through grit teeth.

"I thought you said there was no way to get my old powers back."

Urahara smiles.

"That's still true… Hence the dilemma."

Any façade of patience Ichigo was trying to convey shatters and he's about to burst.

Then, there's a knock on the door.

Urahara's smile widens, as if he knows something.

Ichigo scowls at his mentor, as if he knows his mentor knows something.

And Yoruichi is left, once again, rolling her golden eyes at the all too familiar situation.

* * *

Karin is walking directly in line behind Toshiro. At the same time, she's trying to keep as much of a distance from him as humanly possible.

It's an awkward thing to try to explain.

She knows the general gist of her and Toshiro's friendship.

They are best friends in her world.

However, they are absolute strangers in his.

She has accepted it. She honestly has.

This is just the first time she's actually had to act out their unspoken agreement.

They are walking across some white stoned street and Karin is doing her very best to keep her eyes forward and chin up.

She thinks this an admirable feat, considering the short-haired (and short-tempered) female captain that forced them here is glaring scorching daggers into her back.

In an attempt to become lost in her thoughts, Karin absentmindedly notes that the group walking along the pristine cobblestone must make a strange sight to the onlookers.

They have a couple of ninja-looking shinigami leading the way, followed by a snowball headed ex-midget, then a human girl, and finally, all are shadowed by a lemon-faced Squad 2 captain.

The appearance of two black butterflies, each of which heads towards separate captains, awakes her from her reverie.

All of a sudden, everyone in their mishmash of a group adopts a somber expression.

She has just enough time to blink once before she feels herself being shunpoed away.

* * *

"What's wrong Abarai-kun?" Orihime asks, with worry lining her sweet voice.

His voice is clear and controlled when he releases the black butterfly and responds. "A captain and lieutenant's meeting has been called."

The three Karakura citizens nod in understanding.

The tattoo-faced man just sighs and scratches the back of his neck. "Well, considering we're almost there anyw…"

Ishida wonders why his comrade has stopped talking, but then his eyes fall on the answer.

The four friends stare with wide eyes, as they see none other than Karin Kurosaki walking towards the meeting room.

The (much more mature since last year) Division Ten captain notices them right before he enters. Toshiro brusquely states the three should partake in the meeting, since it "concerns them."

* * *

"…And then we were brought back here by Captain Soifon. Report concluded."

Toshiro took a refined, deep breath in an attempt to quench his thirsty lungs.

The meeting room was silent as he finished speaking from his assigned spot.

It seemed everyone was waiting for what the Soutaichou had to say on what the young captain had revealed in his comprehensive report.

Answering the unspoken demand, the captain commander spoke, his voice gruff.

"You are certain it was Kuchiki Rukia you saw."

"To the best of my knowledge, yes it was Kuchiki Rukia."

He hears a gasp, and he's pretty sure that Orihime is the source.

Mayuri is the next to question the ice captain.

"I am quite…_curious_ to know how you were able to defeat this arrancar in the previous war, and yet were _incapable_ to do so this time, _Captain_ Hitsuguya?"

It is more than obvious that Mayuri is baiting Toshiro. Fortunately, Toshiro has dealt with the man's lunacy before.

"As I mentioned in my report, captain, it seems that the arrancar Luppi—who was somehow revived—gained certain abilities. He was stronger, faster, able to change forms, maintain his changed form, and his skin was imbedded with pieces of glass-like material that appeared to strengthen his hierro. He also had some sort of ability that prevented myself from sensing his spiritual pressure. Similar to how _your_ equipment was unable to do so."

Toshiro can't stop himself from adding in the little jibe at the end. He can't help bu think that maybe Karin's fiery attitude is rubbing off on him a bit after all.

Mayuri bristles at Toshiro's direct insult to his immaculate machinery, but is stopped from retaliating by the Soutaichou's next inquiry.

"Lieutenant Abarai."

"Yes, Soutaichou?"

"You had requested a meeting."

Renji looks conflicted, and can't help but feel put on the spot. He looks around and realizes that the other individuals in the room are also looking at him and awaiting his response.

"Ah…its..."

The head captain nearly barks. "Lieutenant!"

Renji just sighs in resignation. He had really hoped that, for once, his best friend wasn't involved.

"Rukia was supposed to return from her mission five days ago. We", he takes a second to point to Ishida, Chad, Orihime, and himself, "were going to request permission to check in on her."

The Soutaichou does nothing to acknowledge Renji's admission. He just turns and bores his stare unto the frail captain of the thirteenth division.

Jushiro, who until this point was having one of his better days, can already sense the question coming and preemptively responds.

"It was a routine hollow extermination in Northern Japan. Previous squad members have had difficulty defeating hollows in that area, so I thought it would be best to send a lieutenant."

The Soutaicho nods at the explanation from his former student.

It is silent again, as everyone waits with baited breath for the Soutaichou's decision regarding Rukia.

Surprising everyone, he just remains silent. Shunsui, however, is happy to break the silence.

Another question is asked.

This time, it is directed at Karin.

"Miss Kurosaki, I can't help but wonder… why was this espada so adamant about killing _you_?"

As everyone's attention turned to the younger Kurosaki, she fervently wished she was anywhere but standing before their piercing stares.

"I-I'm not sure. I don't know." Karin hates that she stuttered during her reply, but she can't really blame herself…considering she has some of the deadliest individuals in all worlds staring her down.

After her response, the room is silent again.

Karin can't help but wonder how anything ever gets accomplished at these meetings when all everyone does is think to themselves…

"U-Umm, excuse-me?"

Karin feels sixty pounds lighter as the weight of everyone's stares is relinquished to Orihime.

"I think that Karin should return back to the human world with us as soon as possible."

Ishida and Chad are quick to back her up. "I second Orihime's suggestion."

"As do I."

None of the three Karakura citizens like the idea of leaving Karin in Soul Society. They have a (very accurate) feeling that her older brother would be even less fond of the idea.

"I do not think that is wise."

Ishida, Chad, and Orihime are shocked to identify the voice as Toshiro.

_Why? How? What!?_ Why is Toshiro trying to prevent Karin from returning back to her family?

They turn to Toshiro, their dumbfounded expressions demanding an explanation.

"As I am sure many of you have already noticed, her spiritual pressure is fading once again. With the fluctuation in her reiatsu, we have no idea what the ramifications would be to her if we were to take her through a Senkaimon. Moreover, if these new espada are able to enter the world of living undetected, there is no feasible way to ensure her safety there. The most viable option would be to have her stay here, under constant supervision—"

Toshiro is cut off by an overly excited Mayuri.

"Oh yes! I agree! She can stay in the Twelfth Division commander. We'd take _excellent_ care of her!"

His tone, accompanied by the ravenous look he gives her, is enough to give Karin nightmares for the rest of her life.

Toshiro is quick to come to Karin's aid.

"I recommend she stay in the Fourth Division, there is ample space in their enlarged barracks. We wouldn't want to encumber Twelfth"

Mayuri continues on as if he didn't even hear the younger captain's interjection. "A few tests, yes, that's all we'd need to run in order to diagnose her little mishap. And of course, an extra few would be wonderful to add to our compilation of—"

"Soutaichou I suggest she stays with me in Tenth. I wouldn't want to waste any beds at Fourth, in case of an emergency. Moreover, I am the _only_ other individual she knows here. And I don't think that Kurosaki-kun would be too pleased when he finds out we were keeping his baby sister in the care of strangers."

Karin makes a mental note to buy Rangiku a lifetime supply of sake next Christmas.

Mayuri is giving Rangiku a vindictive glare, but she happily ignores the upset captain in favor of looking to the Soutaichou for his decision.

"…Permission granted Lieutenant Matsumoto. Meeting dismissed. Captain Hitsuguya, remain behind."

Everyone leaves the meeting hall, excluding the youngest captain.

The list of people Toshiro is intimidated by is very small. The Soutaichou is at the very top of that list. Maintaining his calm, Toshiro approaches the captain commander. He doesn't have to wait long, because as soon as the door to the meeting room closes, Toshiro hears the elder's hoarse voice.

"…You were sent on a mission to investigate the fluctuations in the wall."

"I have no new information regarding the cause of the fluxes." Toshiro is careful with his response. Toshiro knows the old man didn't just keep him behind for an update on the mission…No, he knows the real reason he was held back.

"… You released your limiter without permission captain."

Toshiro is silent. He already provided the circumstances for doing so in his report. No matter the punishment he is sure will ensue, it doesn't regret it. No, absolutely not. If he hadn't released it, Karin would have been dead.

"However, seeing the power of the arrancar, your decision was acceptable."

Facing the Soutaichou's seeming indifference regarding the unauthorized releasing of his limiter, even the stoic Toshiro is unable to prevent his eyebrows from rising in surprise.

However, the surprise quickly turns into apprehension as the Soutaichou continues.

"…What I am concerned about, is how you were able to find the younger Kurosaki if both her and the arrancar possessed no sensible spiritual pressure. There is no way you could have known what was happening to the girl."

At this point, Toshiro knows he's screwed.

He figures out exactly what the Soutaichou suspects him and Karin of. He was stupid to think that the Soutaichou would overlook his frequent visits…his lengthened missions into the Living World...

But, hey, why not try his luck?

"…I had… sensed hollows earlier in the area… It was only by chance I stumbled upon her situation."

The Soutaichou scrutinized Toshiro for the next few moments, while Toshiro put into play every form of self-control he had ever taught himself in order to not give away any indication he is lying through his teeth.

"…I see. Dismissed."

Toshiro doesn't trust himself to breathe in relief until he is sitting in his office chair, far away from the piercing gaze of the captain commander.

* * *

Ishida is surprised to see Shinji, of all people, standing adjacent the seated Urahara when the three return to the Shoten.

"When did yo—"

The quincy's inquiry is cut off by the eager vizard.

"Just a few moments ago actually. But enough about me, I am much more interested to hear about what's going on in the big S.S."

The blonde makes a show of settling himself on the floor right next to Ichigo. He crosses his legs and looks to the group keenly, like a child intently waiting for story time.

At the imploring looks directed his way by Orihime and Chad, Ishida curses. He has just been silently nominated to be responsible for telling Ichigo that his sister was almost killed…and that Rukia is somehow affiliated with the espada.

He takes a deep breath, and then begins to tell Ichigo about Karin…

"I-what would they want with _Karin_! She's not even a shinigami? What the hell do you mean he attacked her?! When the hell did this happen?!"

They, somehow, manage to calm Ichigo down.

And then Ishida tells him about Rukia…

Upon finishing his recount, Ishida is surprised (not really) to find himself pressed against the wall by his throat.

"You are fucking _lying_!" Ichigo growls.

Chad and Orihime stop him and are trying futilely to calm down the raging carrot top.

Somewhere amidst the chaos, Shinji decides to play along and makes a suggestion.

"I'm thinking about making a trip to Hueco Mundo…you know just to check up on the place, go for a nice stroll, enjoy the weather, maybe even take a moment to confirm if our little Kuchiki princess is really there. I, for one, agree with Ichigo; this is something I need to see for myself… After all, I can't think of a single reason that could possibly explain her being there." He smiles, "Anyone else want in?"

Shinji asks the question flippantly, as if he didn't just suggest an illegal mission into the deadliest of the three worlds.

* * *

Orihime shivers as she sets foot on the sands she had prayed she would never have to see again.

'_This is for Rukia. For Rukia, my nakama. My friend.'_

Orihime is shaken from her thoughts by a worried look from Ishida.

"Orihime, you can still go back. Chad, Shinji and I are more than capable of handling this. I know that even just being here must bring back some horrific memories."

She smiles at his concern. "T-Thank you Uryuu-kun but, I'm fine. I just… needed a small second to adjust, that's all! I'm all set and ready to go!"

Ishida sighs at her forced enthusiasm and looks like he's about to rebut; however, he's prevented from doing so when the group senses a presence approaching them much too fast. They all tense in anticipation, their weapons at the ready.

* * *

Back at the Shoten, Ichigo was mulling over everything that had happened.

Said young man had been growing increasingly frustrated ever since he was subject to hearing Ishida's recount of the events that had transpired while he was away at some "soccer training camp".

Ichigo's fists tightened.

He hates that he wasn't there for Karin.

What he hates even more is the knowledge that he would not have been able to protect her even if he _was_ there.

But, what aggravates him the absolute most is _her_.

'_Why would you save Karin if-if you're with them now? How can you even be with them after everything they did? I—I don't believe it—no it's not possible. You would never do something like that—"_

"**Come on **_**Kingy**_**… tsk tsk tsk… no lying now… I think we can both agree... you don't know her at all…"**

It's just a whisper, but Ichigo hears the voice loud and clear.

The screen door opening interrupts Ichigo's dark musings. Urahara strolls in, whistling a happy tune, with his feline-esque friend. They both seat themselves calmly, right across from the irascible ex-substitute-shinigami.

Ichigo snarls at his mentors. "Are you going to tell me your plan to get rid of him yet?"

Urahara hides his growing smile behind his infamous fan as he offers his (much too chipper) response.

"Hmmm… Nope!"

It is all Ichigo can do to stop himself from ringing the man's neck.

* * *

They are completely speechless.

It's her.

It's Rukia.

It's not a hollow or an arrancar or an espada…it's their _friend_.

"Return to the world of the living. Leave here." Her voice is crisp, empty; but it is hers nonetheless.

Orihime refuses to believe it.

Chad and Ishida don't know what to believe.

Shinji is the only one oriented enough to realize that the dark-haired noble isn't alone.

"My, my Rukia-chan who is that you've brought along with you? A new friend?"

The other three just stare in bewilderment as the sand behind Rukia starts to rise and manifest into a blob like being. It suspends itself in the air and seems almost misty in texture.

Then, the specter begins to speak.

"Rukia, dispose of them."

Rukia waves her hand, and the group sees a garganta form behind them. "I'm not going to waste _my_ energy fighting them. They'll leave on their ow—"

"_Why__Rukia-chan_! W-Why are you with them! Are they forcing you? Please, just come back with us!"

There's a tangible amount of desperation and confusion in Orihime's voice, but she can't bring herself to care.

Rukia just continues to stare at them with distant eyes. Her voice is hollow and icy cold as she sidesteps Orihime's question.

"I am here of my own free will. Now, out of respect for our previous alliance, I warn you to leave. I will not ask again. Your current manpower will last you at most a day. Then you will all die. "

Orihime is frozen. This callous shell cannot be her friend—the same friend who trained by her side her for days and days and days—No! No this _can't_!

Ishida steps forward, and looks as if he's about to say something…but he stops himself when he sees another garganta open itself behind Rukia.

Exiting the dark deformed mouth is none other than…

…the fanatical form of Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: The espada Ishida saw Ichigo kill months ago with his own two eyes.

"A _day_?!" The blue haired espada gives a bellow of dark laughter before his eyes take on a familiar maniacal gleam and he points his steely sword towards the four heroes.

"They'll all be dead within the _hour_!"

* * *

Even Urahara is surprised to see the retrieval team return so soon.

"By the looks on your faces, am I to presume that Rukia-chan won't be stopping by to have tea with me this afternoon?"

Yoruichi is quick to smack her companion upside the head.

She frowns and reprimands her lover. "Learn to read the mood Kisuke!"

After some (much) debate, Yoruichi manages to somehow convince the three Karakura High School students to return to their homes.

And, at long last, Ichigo is privy to the "plan" Shinji and Urahara have concocted to retrieve his long coveted powers.

"…and you understand, there is no way of getting around it or reversing it. There is 100% chance of you dying. On top of that, so many things could go wrong. Memory loss and/or your hollow completely possessing you being two of the _favorable_ consequences."

Shinji finishes and gives a meaningful look towards Ichigo before asking, in complete seriousness,

"Are you sure about this? You can't go back once—"

"I'm sure. My sister is in danger. And so is everyone else if I don't find a way to tame my hollow." Ichigo's voice is resolute and incontestable.

Urahara tsks, and catches the attention of the others assembled in the Shoten's hidden basement.

"Now Ichigo", he waves the fan in front of his face "Are you sure that's your _only_ motivation for agreeing to this?"

Ichigo just glares at the green-adorned man. "Yes. I'm sure."

Urahara adopts some perverse happy-go-lucky tone. "Really?! Well now, that's a _relief_. For a second there I had this strange, most likely unfounded, suspicion that you may be hiding something from us?"

Urahara raises a brow and blinks (not so) innocently at his most petulant pupil. At said pupil's taciturnity, Urahara continues.

"I do hope that once you get your powers back…you aren't hoping to… hmmm… I dunno… maybe _return the favor_ to anyone? Settle any grudges? Dish out a little payback on some poor, unsuspecting princ—"

"_Watch it Urahara_!" Ichigo barks, eyes aflame.

His mentor just turns around, undeterred, and makes his way on top of one of the boulders. At the same time, Tessai enters and joins the four already in the underground training facility.

It is not until he's at the very top, situated so that he is looking down at Ichigo, that the shopkeeper responds.

"Watch what? The show? Oh believe me, _I intend to_."

* * *

A/N: For the sake of me not having to find a way to write it in- just say everyone assumed Rangiku knew Karin because during real world missions they may have come into contact. The main taboo is romantic relations, which people might accuse Toshiro and Karin of if they realize that both know each other, he's been spending excess amount of time in Karakura since he met her, yada yada yada : )

Any questions? Ask them in a review!

Any suggestions? STATE THEM IN A REVIEW!

The reason I provided a timeline was because some reviewers told me they were confused with what was happening when!

I'm not gonna state a review quota for the next chapter, since this one was so unbelievably late, but more reviews will motivate me to finish writing the next one faster ! Maybe even two before the breaks over? : )

P/S Next chapter = **Ichiruki and hitsukarin goodness** : ) I know I promised you some ichiruki in this chap, but I'll make it up to you guys by putting mass ichiruki AND hitsukarin in the next chap !

Thanks for reading!

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**EDIT: **

**"I REMEMBER NOW**

**-THE REASON WHY-**

**-I WANTED TO SAVE YOU SO MUCH…"**

_**Can someone PLEASE give me the context of that quote? **_

_**PLEASE!**_

_**I know its from chapter 181and its Ichigo's – I just don't know what he was doing when he said/thought that? I really need to know so I can incorporate it into the next chapter ! **_

p.s. 30 views and 0 reviews :'( really guys ?


	11. Chapter 7: Fragmented Memories

**A/N: Big thanks **to the reviewers who helped me with the context of the quote from the last , a** special thank you to Ultimate Black Ace and D **for noticing my mistakes (which I have now changed)! In the last chapter I meant to write:

1) "The (much more mature since last year) Division **TEN** captain notices…" (I.e. I was referring to the much taller, short-haired Toshiro)"

2)and Matsumuto was supposed to say "stay with me in **TENTH**"

**Disclaimer****: **Nothing but the plot twists are mine : )

_**MUST READ: **_

Note: Remember how after Ichigo defeats Aizen, there's that scene where Rukia (alongside Orihime, Chad, and Uryo) find him and he smiles at them? Well, I'm changing a few things. A) _Only_ Rukia finds him AND B) he's unconscious on the ground

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Legend for this chap: 

_Memory _

'_thought in a memory' _

_emphasis__in a memory OR a memory within a memory_

Present Time

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**Hear Me Sing Chapter 7: Fragmented Memories. **

_**Dedicated to Ultimate Black Ace, thanks for noticing my mistakes in the last chapter! **_

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_Memories can be wonderful things. _

_They remind you of the most wonderful times…_

_With the most wonderful people. _

_But then, slowly, they tie you to those times… _

_And to those people. _

_Thus we conclude: _

_Memories can be horrible things. _

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_**(20 months ago, a couple of weeks after Ichigo fought Grand Fisher)**_

_Ichigo was __**pissed**__. _

_This was something Rukia could attest to with full and utter confidence. _

_But, __**why**__? What could possibly be the reason behind her comrade's boiling ire?_

_Well, that was something that Rukia had yet to figure out. Currently, the orange-haired idiot was furiously pulling her out of the idle little café they had gone to for lunch. And Rukia could not fathom why. _

_As she struggled to keep up with his long strides, she allowed the events of earlier that morning to replay in her head. _

"_**Why are we even doing this?" A grumpy Ichigo questioned, as he yawned shamelessly into his arm. **_

_**Rukia was quick to stomp on his foot to reprimand him for his poor etiquette. **_

_**Despite his (in her opinion, quite girlish) squeal of pain, he still followed her into Bell's café. **_

"_**Because" she began as she seated herself on one of the tables next to the window, "Orihime told me this place makes delicious pancakes and I wanted to try some for myself." **_

_**Ichigo scoffed. "Well then go ahead, try some for yourself. I don't see why you had to drag me and my wallet into this." **_

_**She gave him an overly saccharine smile (that she had no doubt learned from that Chappy garbage) and their hourly banter began. **_

_**Sometime in the middle of waiting for his chocolate chip pancakes and her (much to his chagrin and her amusement) strawberry pancakes, he decided to take a trip to the restroom. **_

_**A moment after he left her, the door to the café opened again. This time, a man, maybe two or three years Ichigo's senior entered. Rukia didn't pay the new entrant much attention (none at all, in fact). **_

_**He, on the other hand, was quick to situate himself right across the dark-haired vixen sitting all by her lonesome. **_

_**Long story short, by the time Ichigo came out of the restroom he was privy to the last bits of their (rather one sided) conversation: **_

"_**Call me Kitoshi. Or better yet", he winked, "Just call me." **_

_And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what happened about 2.5 seconds before Ichigo (… GRACEFULLY, as always) pulled Rukia out of her seat and dragged her out of the tiny café. _

_Guess she'd have to wait until next Saturday before she could try those coveted pancakes. _

_However, she was not willing to wait that long for Ichigo's reasoning behind his boorish actions. After all, all the man had done was talk to her. What was so wrong about that? She voices her confusion to her irate companion. _

"_Ichigo! Why are you so angry?!"_

_Ichigo doesn't bother to respond to her, mostly because; he's not quite sure himself._

* * *

_She was hurt._

_He was weak. _

_She's hurt because he's weak. _

_They had gone in to fight another routine hollow. Ichigo had been distracted trying to decipher his earlier feelings of anger towards the man from the café. Even the cold night air of Karakura wasn't enough to stir him into attentiveness._

_The hollow had come extremely close to killing him, due to his carelessness. _

_It didn't._

_But only because Rukia had stepped in and tried to stop it with her kido. _

_And in the process, she had been hurt: slashed viciously across her torso. _

_Of course, once the creature's filthy extremity cut into her skin—had spilled __**her **__blood—Ichigo had taken less than a second to kill the beast with earth shattering fury. _

_Now, she's on his back, and the crisp air is whipping across her face as he runs towards the Shoten. _

"_Ichigo put me DOWN!" She tries to yell, but her voice breaks at the end from the effort it takes to do so. _

_Ichigo doesn't even let her finish before he begins responding. "Shut up and relax. Don't…don't irritate your wound any more." _

_Despite the fact that he refuses to meet her eyes, she recognizes the look marring his features. She had become all too familiar with that serious, guilt-ridden expression he adopts anytime she gets injured. _

_She wisely decides that now isn't the time to fight with him. So, contrary to her initial protests, she tightens her arms around his neck. She lets him whisk her away to Urahara's, and lets the wind generated from his speed cool her rising fever.  
_

_He feels the blood from her open wound seeping onto his back. It's ice cold by the time it permeates the makeshift wrap he made for her, soaks through both of their robes and reaches the skin protecting his back. _

_He decides, then and there (as he feels the glacial jolt of her blood staining his spine), that he will never, ever let her get hurt on his behalf. _

'_Never again.'_

_Exhaustion overwhelms the injured girl about half way to the shop. She starts to close her heavy-lidded eyes, and Ichigo feels her lower her head delicately onto his shoulder. _

_Due to their… proximity… he can feel her heart beating against his back. He analyzes he rhythm, and concludes that he will make it to the shop in time. _

_He continues on his path but is surprised to find that, despite the chilly air outside, his face is… warm? _

'_The night air is cold', he reasons. That is the only possible explanation for the heat quickly rising up his face. _

_Yup, that is the only plausible reason. _

_He adamantly refuses to admit that the red dusting his cheeks is due to her shallow breathes fanning across his bare skin, as her lips hover dangerously close to his neck. _

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_He came._

_Despite her threats and warning and prayers…he came to save her._

_He put his life at risk for her. _

'_For…__**me**__?'_

_The idea that he values her life so much is still baffling and perplexing on so many levels to her. Rukia is the first to admit that she didn't think anyone would care about her execution. Yes, some of her old friends might grieve for a day (maybe even two), but they would continue to go about their daily existence without her. _

'_Some…some were even willing to watch the execution themselves…'_

_She swallows that treacherous lump in her throat as she looks at the boy—the man—with incorrigible orange hair. _

_Does he know how much it means to her that he came?_

_Does he understand just how deeply it affects her? _

_Though she would never admit it to his face, he had already done more for her than anyone she had ever met. _

_He had welcomed her into his family. He had been willing to share his (slightly deranged, but loving) father and two younger sisters with her, the girl who had been ostracized by her supposed family. _

_Her mouth turns upwards as she remembers the Kurosaki's—her family. _

_She remembers cheering at Karin's soccer games, cooking (or at least trying to) on Sundays with Yuzu, and laughing at Isshin's antics. Those memories…she cherishes them. These people…she loves them. _

_She would be willing to do __**anything**__ to protect them. _

_Rukia inwardly curses her train of thought for leading her to this stop… for teasing her by reminding her of the family she was forced to leave behind. It had killed her to leave Ichigo…but it had also killed her to leave Yuzu and Karin. They had become close after her stay in the living world. One memory flashes brightly in front of the rest: the afternoon when Yuzu had bashfully asked if it was alright to address her as Ruki-nee. _

_The warmth of the memory pains her…because at the same time she remembers the adoration in the younger girls light brown eyes, she is forced to look at the unconscious form of their older brother. _

_They had already lost their mother…_

'_How could they ever forgive me for putting their brother through this?'_

_Her train of thought takes a detour as the object of her contemplations stirs. _

_His eyes open slowly, trying to adjust to the white lighting of Squad 4. His amber orbs sharpen as his eyes search and identify his surroundings. She watches his confusion turn to understanding as he glances at the pristine walls of the infirmary. She watches his eyes darken as they look out the window and take in the battered Sokyoku Hill in the distance. Then she sees his eyes flash with relief as they finally lock in on her. _

_He gives her a small smile from his spot on the infirmary bed. She gives him a small smile in return. _

_He isn't going to apologize._

_She isn't going to say thank you._

_He isn't going to ask about the lone trail of glistening liquid shining against her smooth cheek…_

_Just like he isn't going to question why her hand is clasped tightly onto his…_

_And she isn't going to question why he interlocks his fingers into hers, before closing his eyes once more. _

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'_Fuck, Renji!'_

_Ichigo __**knew**__…_

_He knew he should have never left her alone._

_Ichigo can count the number of times he's been truly frightened on his hands. _

_This is definitely one of them. _

_He is fucking __**terrified**__. _

_Inoue is trying to heal her, in some yellow-hued dome of magic. But it's taking too long. _

'_It's taking too. Fucking. Long.'_

_And despite his previous, momentary anger directed at the pineapple haired lieutenant, Ichigo knows whom he truly blames for Rukia's condition… he knows the one is truly responsible… _

_Himself. _

_He blames himself._

_Because once again, he wasn't their to save her._

_He looks at her rigid, lifeless form and refuses to let anyone see the apprehension, the shame, the absolute __**fear**__ in his eyes. _

'_I'm going to lose her. I'm going to lose her. I'm going to lose her.'_

_His fists cling violently to the dirty black cloth of his attire._

'_I can't lose her…'_

_The muscles in his eyes tighten and for a brief moment he is forced to look away._

'_I am so sorry I failed to protect you…I am so, so sorry…'_

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_His eyes feel heavy. _

_So, so heavy. _

_He can't feel any other part of his body. _

_Nothing…_

_Nothing at all…_

_But… wait. _

_He hears something. _

_It's faint and soft. _

_It's calming and wholesome and… and it's becoming clearer…_

"… _pid ba…" _

_Confusion brings forth consciousness, and the voice materializes. _

"… _Baka. Stupid, stupid baka…Always finding more ways to try and get yourself killed… you stupid, stupid baka!"_

_He almost laughs._

_Almost, because the fact that he can hear tears in her voice removes all humor from the situation. _

_No, that just won't do. Rukia shouldn't be crying. No. _

_He has to fix this. _

_As he starts to ponder on ways to stop her tears, he starts to feel again. And the first thing he recognizes is her delicate fingers stroking the hair perched above his eyes. _

_Then he feels her strong, yet soft thighs beneath his head. _

_His head is in her lap. Her warmth is seeping into him. Her tantalizing fingers are in motion, now softly caressing the sides of his face. _

_It feels __**so **__**good**__. _

_He will tell her he's awake. He will. He just… wants to indulge in her touch… for one moment longer…_

'_Please…just one moment longer….'_

_Her swallowing back a sob is a stark reminder that by withholding his consciousness from her, he is hurting her._

_So he opens his eyes…._

"_You're…so annoying."__** 'You're beautiful'**_

_She lets out an exasperated laugh upon hearing his gruff voice and her tears stop. "You, you're… " But, her relieved bliss quickly morphs into relieved anger (as it often does with them)._

"_You are such an incompetent strawberry!" __**'You are the most selfless person I have ever met. Thank you for saving my world.'**_

_He scoffs. _

"_Incompetent? I just killed Aizen!" __**'No problem… Anything for you.'**_

"_By nearly dying yourself!" __**'I was so worried for you.'**_

"_Shut up. You're irritating me."_ _**'I'm alive. Please, don't stop holding me.'**_

"_Baka!" __**'Never... I love you.' **_

"_Midget…" '__**I love you more'**_

_His voice is getting quieter. He's becoming tired. His vision is growing blurry. _

_His eyes briefly leave her wide violet orbs and Ichigo realizes that it's raining… it's raining quite fiercely, actually. _

_Nevertheless, he lets his eyes close again…_

… _because he knows, somewhere deep inside himself where only truth beats, that he can trust Rukia to protect him from the merciless rain. _

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'_**I love you more'**_

_If only Ichigo noticed that his last thought had left his mouth. _

_Rukia certainly did._

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"I told you not to bug me Karin"

Truth be told, she hadn't even realized that she had been searching for him until she found herself standing before his office desk.

"Then why are you hanging around somewhere you _know_ I can find you?"

She is about to internally applaud her 'comeback' when she sees him give her his haughty, 'thou are so stupid sometimes' look.

At her questioning expression, Toshiro's brow rises further and he gives a meaningful look to the mountains of paperwork decorating his desk.

'_Oh… Right.' _

Despite years of knowing him, she still finds herself forgetting he is a captain. That he has to bear a captain's responsibilities on his shoulders.

To be honest (once again), there is a part of her that still likes to think they are the same two kids that met on the soccer field all those years ago.

"Well… Isn't that why you have a lieutenant? Doesn't Matsumoto just do that kind of stuff for you?"

He gives her that look again.

'_Oh… Right.' _

She forgot that the idea of Matsumoto completing her portion of the paperwork is just as plausible as the older woman giving up sake.

She smiles in fondness at the memory of the effusive lieutenant.

But then her eyes return to reality and stare once more at the towering stacks of forms Toshiro has done and has yet to do.

She frowns and decides her friend needs a break.

"Come play with me."

It's a demand, and a ludicrous one at that. Toshiro's head jerks up upon hearing her…order? He then scoffs (elegantly of course) at her childish antics.

She rolls her deep coal eyes at the snow-haired taichou. "Oh come on! You need a break."

She'll never admit that she's worried about him. Nope, never.

It's just as plausible as him admitting he worries for her too.

He doesn't respond this time.

Irritated, the dark-haired teen makes a show of sitting on top of his desk, putting her hands beneath her chin, tilting her head, and facing him straight on.

Toshiro _should_ point out to her that (if she wants to sit down) there is a perfectly fine couch only three meters away.

But he doesn't.

Instead he sighs and leans back in his chair.

They are facing each other: one with a practiced look of indifference and the other with a glare screaming that no matter what, she is going to win this.

He already know she's going to, but it's…well, _entertaining_….to irk her.

"Oh come on! Where did your sense of fun go?"

"Wherever your maturity went."

Her glare gets, if possible, sharper.

He groans faintly. "It's raining outside."

"Well no shit, I'm not stupid."

"Debatable."

"Asshole."

"Also debatable."

They're just gazing at each other now.

It's a strange game they often find themselves playing.

Who smiles first?

Toshiro gives in this time, and he can't help but question

'_Why don't I mind losing to her?'_

Karin smiles brightly in triumph, and his office dims a little.

'**That's why.'** He can hear the knowing smile in his Zanpakto's words. Toshiro conveniently chooses to pretend he didn't hear the ice dragon.

He doesn't really have a choice. Further examination of Hyorinmaru's words would entail having to revisit his questionable feelings about the girl in front of him. That is, the girl that _really_ needed to learn to give him some more personal space. Really? Did she not notice the befuddling effect she had on his mind?

'_Well, the Soutaichou almost did.'_

He stiffens as he recalls his earlier conversation with the older man. He's not entirely sure how (or even _**if**_) the Soutaichou bought his explanation for coming across Karin and Luppi.

'_But if he didn't believe me, what possible reason could he have for going along with my lie?' _

Sensing her white-haired friend running away into the recesses of his mind, Karin gives the ice captain a playful shove. Of course, upon impact, Toshiro's sturdy frame doesn't move an inch.

She frowns as she realizes she's actually at risk of losing him to his thoughts. Thinking on her feet, she abruptly gets up and yanks the pen out of the hand of the spaced out taichou.

He seems to come back to her, momentarily. She seizes the opportunity and leans over to grab his wrist.

Her grip firm, she pulls him out of his seat and drags him out of his office.

He is letting her, of course. But she's not going to comment on his newly found compliance to her wishes.

Just like he isn't going to comment on the fact that her hand is slowly slipping into his.

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"It's all gone… " She whispers quietly, her uncharacteristically soft voice pleasurable to Toshiro's entire being.

He does not say a word because he knows that she will elaborate when she finds the words to do so. As expected, she does.

"… My reiatsu… I've lost it … again."

They're lying with their backs on the wet grass of one of the tenth division's most concealed training grounds, after having played a few rounds of soccer.

They finished up a while ago, and (until now) were gazing up at the cloudy sky in a comfortable silence. Both were content just listening and feeling the rain as it lightened to a soft downpour.

He makes the mistake of turning and looking into her dark, stormy eyes.

He can't promise her that it will be all right. He doesn't know if it will be.

So he settles for telling her that he'll stand by her side, the entire way.

Her lips quirk upwards in a small smile, and Toshiro's eyes involuntary turn down to look at her rosy lips…

'_They look so soft…'_

He stands up brusquely in an attempt to clear his head of his tainted thoughts. Once standing, his gaze shifts to the girl lying supine below him. He clears his throat and proclaims that they should start heading back. He thinks the rain is going to pick up again soon.

He holds his hand out to her.

She, in typical Karin fashion, rolls her eyes and states that she's "perfectly capable" of getting up by herself.

Midway through standing up, she slips on the soaked grass.

Toshiro tries catching her, but ends up being pulled on top of her.

And so they find themselves in a very compromising position.

But neither is thinking of that right now.

No, all Toshiro is thinking about is the fact that her curves fit perfectly into him, and that he can clearly feel the suppleness of her body through their wet, flimsy, _easy to dispose of_ clothing.

All Karin can think about is the fact that Toshiro's eyes have darkened drastically, that he hasn't gotten off her yet, and that she can't bring herself to move a muscle.

She is reminded of her earlier musing:

They are not kids anymore.

And the thought absolutely _terrifies_ her.

Their eyes are locked. His are filled with a raw hunger, underlined by complete adoration. Hers are filled with confusion, underlined by utter apprehension. The tension surrounding them is so thick and concentrated she is afraid of so much as breathing.

She decides that now is most definitely the time to start sorting out her feelings for this man.

Well… She hates that he loves to get on her nerves. His arrogance irritates her. His hot and cold attitude confuses the shit out of her. She's offended that he always thinks she needs to be protected… At the same time, she feels warm every time she remembers that he cares enough to try and protect her. His presence makes her feel safe, like it's okay to be herself. With him, she doesn't have to hide behind the mask that she has spent years perfecting.

While Karin's mind fast approaches a conclusion that her heart reached long ago, Toshiro's mind is swamped with conflict that his heart is exacerbating.

He knows he has a choice to make, and he knows that he has to make it right now. Should he can bring his mouth just a little bit closer to hers and bridge that torturously small space, like his heart and body are screaming at him to do.

Can he bring himself to do it?

If he can… if he does give in… then it will be the most selfish thing he has ever done in his life.

If he gives in, he will be putting her in more danger than she has ever been in before.

He will end up putting her life at risk.

Why?

Because she makes him _happy_?

Because he adores arguing with her?

Because she makes him feel like it's okay to let others in?

Because when she smiles, nothing else matters?

Because she's strong and beautiful and the very definition of perfect?

Because he was stupid enough to fall in love with her?

No.

He can't be selfish.

Not with her.

And so, he forcibly rips himself away from her addictive touch. He stands quickly and promises himself repeatedly that he will never accommodate those feelings raging in his heart. He swears to ignore the burning sensation that envelops his being every time she's near him. He tells himself he will never again pay attention to how his heart feels like its about to pop out of his chest with pure excitement when she is near him.

'_I love her too much to be selfish with her.'_

So he turns his back to her and walks away. He leaves her all by herself in the wet grass, subject to force of the (now) pounding rain.

He swears he will never let himself have her.

'_Never.' _

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It takes almost twenty minutes for Karin to get out of the disordered daze he left her in. When Karin finally returns to the Tenth Division, she is storming in the direction of the Captain's office, half ready to beat their taichou into the ground.

However, she's stopped in her hunt by Rangiku.

The older woman gives Karin an "I–don't–know–what–the–_hell_–happened–but–you–are–_so_–telling–me–about–it!" look before happily announcing to Karin that she'll be the younger Kurosaki's roommate during her stay.

Karin, like many, cannot do anything as she is led in the direction opposite her intended destination by an eccentric, _still_ gushing about sleepovers, Rangiku Matsumoto.

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"So….gunna tell me what happened between you and Karin?"

Toshiro refused to so much as flinch at the mention of her name.

His meddlesome lieutenant took that as an invitation to continue pestering him.

A memory of their conversation last night rings in his mind.

"_Taichou…ummm…. Why are you wet?" _

_She had been suspicious ever since she entered the office (for the first time that day…) claiming she needed the next day off, and he hadn't so much as looked up from whatever forms he was filling. _

_She had a very strong notion it had to do with Karin. _

"_Kurosaki will be staying with you. See to it that she knows where the room is." _

_His command was ice cold. His tone clearly added 'Now!' to the end of his sentence. _

_Taking heed, Matsumoto left the office in search of her newest roommate._

"Taaaiiiichhhoouuu! You're going to have to talk to me sooommmeettiimmmeee!" She sang, happily prancing around the office.

Toshiro sighed in exasperation and realized that if he didn't give her something, she would never sit down and stop annoying him. Dealing with her was akin to sating a hungry child. Just give her some sustenance and hope she shuts her whining afterwards.

"… Nothing happened."

She tsked. "If it really was nothing, you wouldn't have holed yourself up in your office all day."

A tick formed in his forehead. "I have not 'holed myself up'…. I have been doing the paperwork that needs to get done this week, something that is taking slightly longer than expected because my supposed vice captain refusing to do her share! If you just acted like you were supposed to, we wouldn't even be in this mess!"

His pen broke sometime in the middle of the rant and his lieutenant gave him a worried looked. They both knew who that last sentence was directed towards…

Toshiro sighed as stood up to throw out his pen and retrieve another. "We just had an… argument last night... we… disagreed on something, that's all."

Matsumoto raised a manicured brow and gave a lewd grin, "From what I saw, seems like you two were on the _exact_ same page…"

The tick in his forehead grew tenfold as turned sharply and glared accusingly at his lieutenant, "You were _spying_ on us!"

'_Actually, I weaseled the happenings out of frustrated and disconcerted Karin…but you don't need to know that'_

Even know, just talking about her fleetingly, she could see her captain become more wound up—a stark contrast to his usual impassiveness. She cast him a worried look and her voice took on a motherly tone.

"Captain… if she makes you happy, there's nothing holding you back from being with her—"

"_Nothing holding me back_?! Rangiku she would be executed before I could even blink! And knowing Central 46, _I_ would be the person in charge of carrying it out!"

"You are so thickheaded sometimes Toshiro! You finally have something worth fighting for, but you are too afraid to do it!"

He's silent, she continues.

"Who says they even care that much! I mean, despite her protests, I am certain that Rukia and Ichigo had something, and neither Central 46 nor the Soutaichou looked into it! And now, with this whole arrancar thing on their plates: They. Would. _Not_. Give. A. _Damn_!"

She thinks she finally hit the right nerve, because he starts speaking (arguing) again.

"This upcoming battle is another reason why nothing can happen between us! I'm staying away from her to protect her! It's the only way we can come out of this—"

'_That infuriating, pigheaded man!' _

"And what happens if one of you doesn't come out of it? Huh! What then? I'll tell you what! You will spend _every single day_ of the rest of your existence wishing you'd had the guts to do something because you will never get the chance again!"

It's quiet.

Well, except for their elevated, post-altercation breathing.

They both know that this conversation has detoured; they both who she's actually referring to now.

Her voice is meek. "… I'm going on a break… be back later."

Toshiro knows he isn't going to see her tonight.

He knows this because any time Gin gets brought into the conversation, she spends the rest of the night trying to forget him… bottle after bottle.

He knows he should go after her, talk to her about it; but at the same time, he knows talking about it only brings her more pain.

He's angry that he can't help Matsumoto.

Just like he's angry with himself for falling for Karin.

He runs a frustrated hand through his white locks and knows that he is in way to deep.

Last night… he could have easily stopped himself from falling when she had slipped.

But he didn't.

His body had intentionally followed hers down to the ground.

He still cannot believe that he lost control of his physical actions so completely. She makes him lose control—forget himself and who he is supposed to be and how he is supposed to act. She's dangerous.

'_She… She… She is just… Urgggghhhh!'_

He needs to stay away from her. Every second she is by his side she poisons his mind. He can't think rationally anymore, because every decision he makes is influenced by how it will affect her.

Something he had said once to Madarame flings itself to the forefront of his mind.

"_I warned you to not get involved in human affairs" _

He internally berates himself for not following his own advice.

He berates himself further because he realizes that no matter how selfless he wants to be…

…in the end, his heart will scream and kick until he compels her to his side once more.

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With blank violet eyes, she watches as her old comrades go through the garganta she created and return home.

She feels the sand shift behind her and knows that the specter has left her alone.

"What's wrong? Aren't gonna cry about your friends?"

Well, almost.

She ignores Grimmjow's taunting but still turns to face gleaming azure eyes.

Sensing that he isn't going to get a rise out of her today, he gives an annoyed humph and asks, "In case you forgot, _you_ were the one who called for _me_. What do ya want?"

"I called for you _five_ days ago." Her indifferent façade breaks as her ire shows through her glare.

He snarls back.

"I've been busy."

"You being _busy_ would have cost me my cover had that fool Luppi not already gone and blown it."

The sixth espada has the nerve to laugh.

"Oh don't worry about that…mishap." He smiles "Luppi's been taken care of."

Her brow rises at his vague statement.

His smile grows to an unnatural width, now it is almost feline in nature. "Let's just say, the guy served as _wonderful_ target practice for my student."

Rukia's eyes harden.

"That's what I wanted to speak with you about… I want to see her—"

"You can't." His answer is quick and cuts her off before she can even finish asking.

She grows frustrated.

"I just want to make sure she's alive. After all, she is learning from _you_"

The distaste shines in her tone, and Grimmjow is quick to counter. If that's how she wants to be, fine, he'll play along.

He scoffs, "Please. I wouldn't kill her." His smile twists into a lascivious smirk as he takes a step closer to the black-haired shinigami. His voice lowers, "She is much too much _fun_."

She growls and her hand grips the hilt of her sheathed zankpakto. "You bastard… If you so much as _touch_ her I will—"

His tone is flippant. "_Trust me_, I'm not doing anything she doesn't _want_."

In less than a second, Rukia's white blade is sweeping through the crisp air and making its way towards Grimmjow's neck. He sees it coming though, and is quick to block it with his own blade.

Grimmjow isn't smirking anymore.

He is frowning in a vile, deranged way that makes Rukia very uneasy.

His voice is low, and he speaks through a clenched jaw with anger raging through his eyes, scorching her.

"Careful Rukia-_chan_… Ulquiorra won't be around to protect ya forever."

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**The next chapter will be up after I get 15 reviews : )**

I don't have a preview yet, because I haven't selected which scenes I want to use (I'm still in the midst of reshuffling them). Ill put up a preview as soon as I can though!

I didn't edit this chapter as thoroughly as I would have liked, but I honestly don't have the time to! SO if you guys saw any **mistakes** please please PLEASE tell me so I can fix them : )

Also, if certain parts are **choppy, grammatically incorrect, have messed up formatting, or are just plan weird to read or confusing** PLEASE **TELL ME !** I really want to improve my writing and the best way is if you guys give me some constructive criticism!

Also, I use repetition a lot with the different storylines ( I don't know if you guys noticed it or not). **Does it work? **Is it effective? Does it just sound like I'm rehashing old stuff or does the whole idea of their situations mirroring each other (in certain aspects) come across? And for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, an example is when during the Ichi ruki storyline I wrote:

"_Just like he isn't going to question why her hand is clasped tightly onto his…And she isn't going to question why he interlocks his fingers into hers, before closing his eyes once more. "_

Whereas during the scene with toshiro and Karin I wrote:

"_But she's not going to comment on his newly found compliance to her wishes. _

_Just like he isn't going to comment on the fact that her hand is slowly slipping into his."_

Sorry for the Barrage of Questions but **two more**:

So I'm trying to get more new visitors to the story, and a friend of mine suggested I shorten the summary (which I did). **Does it sound okay now**? Like is it enticing enough that **you would click on it?** Also, she said that since my prologue was a little confusing at the beginning (i.e. before you read the next few chapters). That's usually my style with prologues but I can see why it might deter new readers! Do you guys think I should just **delete the prologue completely**?

Also (sorry!) What do you guys think is the **best posting time **for posting new chapters? In eastern standard time? Like when do you guy usually go on fanfiction?

Thanks for Reading/Reviewing!

Happy Holidays Everyone!


	12. Plea for help?

**Hey everyone! **

So I'm super super sorry about the long hiatus, I'm just having a hard time piecing together my thoughts for this fic! I was actually hoping for some help? : ) I cannot figure out a good way for Ichigo to regain his powers in a believable way! The way I was initially going to go about it doesn't work anymore (based on how I want the story to proceed), sooooo **any suggestions? **Once I figure out that "regaining power" bit, the next chapter will be ready to go! (well, after I get the set number of reviews that is!)

Hope you guys are having an awesome summer break ! :D


	13. Chapter 8: Tick Tock Screams the Clock

A/N: Hey! So to those who I promised Karin's past would be revealed… umm… don't throw rotten veggies at me! I'm sorry, but I had to do some more shuffling! Oh well, here's the next chapter! Enjoy! P.s this chapter's quote is from the song "Demons" by Imagine Dragons.

BTW I was super inspired by these few videos, I saw them and just had to keep writing!

watch?v=BO6Nc7daGLM

watch?v=xdRqwon5f74 (ESPECIALLY 2:22-2:55)

watch?v=iPG6Z6D3F_g

watch?v=R25B6QdhjrE (if you watch this one,

**can you PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me who rukia is protecting/shielding at 1:25 and 1:42/1:43 ? And which EPISODE its from? I've no clue at all!**

**Make sure to replace . if you copy and paste the links above! **

**Thanks to my reviewers! (I moved my responses to the bottom just because I don't want to spoil things !) The review responses and PREVIEW for chapter 9 are at the bottom!**

**Disclaimer: **For this entire story, the setting and characters (anything that's recognizable from the current manga or anime or games) are not mine while everything else is mine!

P.S. because of the long wait, I made sure to make this chapter extra long by blending two chapters! : )

P.P.S Thanks to all those who offered to beta! For this chapter, since its already been such a long wait, I figured I'd just post it and change mistakes as reviewers noticed them. Next time though, I'll most def. need a beta! :)

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Hear Me Sing, Or I'll Cry Songs of Tragedy**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Tick Tock Screams the Clock**

* * *

"**Look into my eyes, it where my demons hide.**

**Don't get to close **_**its dark inside**_

**It where my demons hide **

**I want to hide the truth**

**I want to shelter you**

**But with the beast inside**

_**There's nowhere we can hide" **_

* * *

Ichigo stood up sluggishly.

As he slowly lifted himself off of the dirty ground, he readjusted to the familiar weight of a shihakusho. Once finally standing to his full height, he lifted his right hand in front of his torso and stared down at his open palm.

Almost in a daze, he closed his fingers and flexed his arm. Then he smiled, because he could feel it again, thrumming right to his fingertips.

'_Power.'_

The orange-haired shinigami was pulled from his thoughts by the distinct snap of a fan closing. Said closure echoed against the boulders of the Shoten's underground training facility.

"Well, that was especially _boring_. I really was expecting something more… exciting. You know, popcorn worthy. Oh well… box-office failure aside, care to give us the run down Mr. Fullofsurprises?"

Despite the overly jolly tone, Urahara's eyes belied his worry. The shopkeeper was weary of the boy's power and on full alert as he jumped down from his perch. Casually, he approached his pupil.

Said teen hadn't looked up to face his audience quite yet. No, he was still focused on his closing and opening his palm.

At Ichigo's taciturnity, Urahara's worry grew and he discreetly gripped Benihime tighter. From his periphery, he could see that Tessai, Shinji, and Yoruichi had tensed as well.

"Fuck off Geta-boshi. Pay for some damn cinema tickets if you wanna catch a show."

Tessai chuckled as he lowered the kido wards, which had previously encircled Ichigo. Instantly, the atmosphere amidst the five had relaxed.

Well, that is, until Ichigo raised his head and turned to face them.

Seeing their shoulders stiffen and the new tightness of their expressions, Ichigo frowned. "What is it?"

Urahara smiled as he reopened his fan, "Well, it seems like I'm gonna get my show…"

* * *

Ichigo starred at his reflection in a furious and heated stupor.

Someone had once told him that he was easy to read because of his eyes. The person had said his eyes were the windows to his every feeling… to his soul. (He absolutely refused to remember the wide, violet eyes that had accompanied the statement. No, he was stronger than this).

'_I'm stronger than you. Get out, get out, get out of my head!'_

He shook his head, and gazed into the mirror. Starring again at his eyes, he growled in irritation.

'_Change them back.'_ Ichigo demanded.

Nothing.

'_I said,' _Ichigo clutched his head in a vice-like grip. _'CHANGE. THEM. BACK!' _

Just one blink, and his yellow irises eyes returned to a familiar burned amber. Seeing the brown pools looking back at him, Ichigo gave a breath of relief. Finally happy with the state of his appearance, Ichigo made his way out of the Shoten's bathroom.

"Ahh, there he is! Finally finished primping up, Ichi?" Shinji smirked at his comment, knowing that it (alongside the moniker) would irritate the brash young man.

It did.

"Shut up, Shinji." And with that profound retort, Ichigo walked over to the group. "When are Chad, Orihime, and Ishida gonna get here?"

Yoruichi chuckled at the boy's impatience. "Probably within the next ten or so minutes."

Ichigo nodded and deemed the estimated timeframe acceptable. His eyes sharpened, "You can't talk me out of this. Don't even bother trying."

Yoruichi smirked at the familiar pugnacity. "Wasn't planning on it, kid. In fact, this time, I think I've decided to grace you with my company."

Ichigo raised a brow at that, suspicious of her intentions. "Why?"

Yoruichi gave her student a sad smile. "You aren't the only one who is worried about Ruk—"

Ichigo cut her off, bitterly. "My purpose for going there is to find out what those bastards wanted with _my sister_. Then I am going to eliminate every single person one who tried to hurt her. _No other reason_." Ichigo turned as he finished and made a move towards the door. He planned on heading to the room that housed their makeshift garganta: the gate that would send them back to the land of white sands.

Urahara's voice stopped him in his tracks. "You know Ichigo, I am still very curious about that rather… _brief_ fight."

At the older man's words, Ichigo's heart started pounding much faster. The thrumming was so incredibly loud that he terrified they'd hear it. Calming down the erratic beat, he replied. "Don't worry about it Urahara. I got my powers back. That's all that matters."

"Why did you decline captaincy, Shinji?" Ichigo (and Shinji) were both blindsided at the shopkeeper's prompt change of topic.

Ichigo turned to face the blonde man and grew apprehensive when he saw understanding wash over the vizard.

The widening of Shinji's smile did nothing to impede Ichigo's growing suspicions.

"Well," Shinji began, "I'm just waiting around. I'm more of a free spirit, you know? I don't do well with abiding by or promoting rules. And when something… troublesome… comes along, I don't like being shackled to them."

At Ichigo's blank look, Yoruichi sighed in exasperation.

"The kid's as dense as Abarai, Kisuke. Be straightforward."

Ichigo growled at his mentor's insult. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

Urahara gave a rather unsettling giggle before commenting. "You give little Ichi too much credit Ruichi. I'd say even Abarai has a leg up on him in that department."

"You know, I'm still in the room!"

"We know! That's why it's so funny!"

Ichigo was just about ready to reply to (beat) Urahara, when another fiery-haired individual cut him off.

"You idiot. Do you even have a brain in that orange-haired skull? Something _bigger_ is coming this way." The individual's eyes narrowed, "Something _a_ _lot_ worse. You should start thinking abou—"

"Jinta, didn't I assign you an errand earlier?"

At Kisuke's reminder, Jinta blushed vividly (his facial pigment now matching his hair) and mumbled to himself as he walked away.

"Aizen is still alive. "

Shinji figured he might as well just say it. After all, walking on eggshells is only entertaining to a point.

Ichigo frowned in disbelief. "No he's not. I killed him."

In response to the others' silence, Ichigo's ire grew. "He died. I killed him. I gave up my powers, I gave up R—_everything _to kill him. He's _dead_!"

Yoruichi's face was somber. "He didn't die Ichigo. You subdued him enough for Kisuke to trap him in kidou. Central 46 took over his sealing, and he's currently sentenced to 20 000 years in the lowest level of our prison, Muken."

"20 000 _years_… you mean you guys are eventually going to let that homicidal lunatic free? After everything that he did!"

Yoruichi sighed in frustration. "Ichigo, 20 000 years is—Ichigo, wait. Don't you dare walk out that doo—"

"No, you know what. You can just fucking shut up. Everyone can." His voice, although sharp, was deathly calm. "All that leaves any of your mouths are lies. And I, for one, am fucking SICK of it."

Growling, Ichigo made his way to the room door.

Yoruichi frowned once he shut the screen. She glanced around at her companies and concluded that she wasn't the only one who saw (for the briefest of seconds) Ichigo's irises adopt a yellow glaze when she mentioned the AWOL princess.

Her worries for Rukia's welfare skyrocketed.

* * *

After slamming the screen door closed, Ichigo quickly made his way through the halls of the Shoten. God, did they have to mention her religiously? Why? Why couldn't they all just stop talking about her… stop reminding him about her?

Ichigo stopped harshly, turned sharply, and crashed his back onto the wall.

He brought his palm out in front of him again. He stared at the white and black ribbons of reitsu spinning in a haze around his skin.

"_**Such a pleasure… dealing… with you, King."**_

Ichigo tried to suppress the voice. He wanted to completely forget about his counterpart… at least until the day of payment came.

'_It was worth it.'_ Ichigo reminded himself.

Still shaking with rage at learning yet another secret withheld from him, Ichigo pulled himself off of the wall. He was about to continue on his way when he crashed into something.

Correction: someone.

Ichigo backed up a step and was shocked to see the war-ready visage of Renji.

"Calm down Ichigo."

After the initial shock of seeing his friend (for the first time in so long) wore off, Ichigo's anger resurfaced at the man's grave tone. "Get out of my way Renji." Ichigo made an effort to push past him, but the tattooed man provided too large a barrier to get by. Irritated at the younger man, Renji finally gave up on composure and clutched Ichigo by his collar.

"What would you knowing about Aizen have done, huh? Would you have sulked a little harder? Moped a little more? We wanted you to know that your sacrifice meant something. That it _does_ mean something. So we did what we had to do. For Kami's sake, _suck it up!_"

Ichigo was prevented from retaliating when he heard the voices of his human comrades entering the enigmatic shop.

Renji lowered his voice. "We've got a mission, Ichigo. Hold your anger until we get back."

Ichigo nodded and looked away as Renji released him.

The red-haired lieutenant was right. They had a mission.

* * *

Nothing.

There was absolutely nothing ornamenting the bleached wasteland. There were only rounded white hills with wisps of sand suspended by the wind.

That was it. That was all.

There were no hollows, of any class.

_Nothing. _

The group, composed of Chad, Orihime, Ishida, Shinji, Yoruichi, Renji and Ichigo, was more than a little tense. They all shared the same thought:

'_Something isn't right.' _

Shinji was the first to break the silence. Pointing to a small structure in the distance, he suggested, "We should continue to Los Noches."

"Why there?" asked a nervous Orhime.

Shinji shrugged. "The place is as good a starting point as any."

Ishida sighed at the man's explanation. But, it was true. With no spiritual pressure anywhere, they had no other lead to go off of.

Well, that is, until Grimmjow and Szayzel appeared, hovering 20 meters in front of the group.

* * *

"Surprise." Smirked the blue-eyed espada.

The group readied themselves for combat, all making moves towards their weapons of choice.

Szayzel tsk'ed loudly, stealing the attention of all those in the area. "Ichigo Kurosaki, you've been permitted passage. All others, leave or we will kill you."

Shinji smirked. "You sound pretty confident… for someone who's already been killed by our kin once before."

Szayzel smiled back. "We've had a… power boost." Accompanying the comment was a flash of the espada's huge spiritual pressure.

Ishida flinched. The power the bespectacled espada had momentarily exerted was on the captain commander's level. _'Stronger, even.'_

Grimmjow hadn't released his power. The larger hollow didn't have too. All of the members among the group knew that he was ranked higher than Szayzel.

Szayzel continued. "Ichigo Kurosaki, continue on to Los Noches." The pink-haired man decided to goad the redhead further. "The one you truly wish to fight is waiting there."

Yoruichi's glare deepened. "Stay here Ichigo. You are not going anywhere alone." _'I am not letting you within a kilometer of Rukia until I know you are completely in control of that thing inside of you.'_

At Ichigo's hesitance to leave his comrades, Grimmjow smirked. "So is Karin, by the way."

Ichigo's eyes widened at the espada's casual use of her first name. Surprise morphed into fury terribly fast.

"You _bastard_, I'll ki—"

"We were ordered not to engage in combat with you, Kurosaki. If you approach us, we will dodge every attack. We are faster than you. Surely even your meager reiatsu sensing abilities can discern that fact? The only thing you will accomplish is tiring yourself out." Szayzel relayed the information robotically; succinctly. Not a single emotion underlining the words. Ichigo's ire increased at the disinterested countenance of the espada.

Grimmjow growled. "She'll be killed if you don't go now. I'll just send a message back saying that you're being disagreeable, and then" he made a slicing movement with his sword "off with her pretty little head."

Ichigo looked to his friends, a beseeching expression mixed with guilt and worry adorning his face.

Renji spoke towards him confidently. "Go, Ichigo. We can't risk Karin's life over whether or not they're bluffing. Go forward, find Rukia, and find Karin. We'll handle these guys and then we'll catch up with you!"

Renji's conviction followed by the nods of the others (excluding the reluctant nod of Yoruichi) reassured the teen.

In a flash, Ichigo was headed past the two floating espada towards Los Noches.

Grimmjow looked at the newest game set before him and smirked. "Remember what I said about you lot not lasting the hour?" The smirk turned feral. "I wasn't lying."

* * *

As Ichigo approached the intimidating, blanched structure he couldn't help but question the veracity of the espadas' words.

He couldn't sense any spiritual pressure coming from the edifice at all.

He entered the building distrustfully, but was automatically assaulted with a familiar reiatsu. Not hesitating for even a second, he rushed forward in its direction.

* * *

Amidst copious towering skyscrapers and dark grey skies, two figures were found: one stood erect with his arms stiffly crossed, while the other lounged insouciantly on a wet couch.

**"Tell me Old Man,"** the seated one grinned, **"What is a protector's greatest fear?"**

The standing individual remained aloof and ignored the albino creature's enquiry.

Hichigo took the sword's silence as an invitation. His eyes darkened as he responded to his own question.

**"That _he's_ the one they need to be protected _from!_"**

The rain viciously pelted the buildings and, for once, Zangetsu was thankful for the torrential downpour…

It drowned out the hollow's crazed laughter.

* * *

"Ouououou taichouuu where are you headed off to this late at night?" Making use of his selective hearing, Toshiro ignored his lieutenant's (innuendo saturated) enquiry and continued ahead towards the door.

Matsumoto, try as she might (although she really didn't) could not hold back the Cheshire grin twisting above her refined chin. Raising her pitch, she yelled "Say hi to Karin for me!"

The door slamming was the young taichou's response.

* * *

He hated himself.

He was positively ashamed at his selfishness.

Then again, it really was inevitable. If he'd thought it once, he'd thought it a thousand times: '_No matter how hard I try to resist, each time I leave her the thought of being with her again draws me back.'_

In his life, there have only been a handful of people he trusted with his sentiments: Granny, Grandma Haru, Hinamori, Rangiku (when sober)…

But Karin had been the only one who he fully relaxed around—the only one who made him feel as if every worry he had just didn't matter. He felt comfortable with her. He enjoys every second he spends with her; even the ones where she refuses to acknowledge his captaincy. He loves that he can be competitive with her. He loves their bantering and childish insults. She makes his blood rush and he feels so _alive_ every time he's near her. He knows that he would not have survived what happened with Hinamori without Karin.

Her fiery spirit intrigues him; her bright smile entices him.

Despite the sorrows she's faced and the hollows she's killed…there remain a purity about her. It is unlike the innocence possessed by Hinamori or Yachiru. Karin's is… youthful… fiery… impassioned… _bright_. This is what he wants to keep alive.

He can't help but think maybe that's another sign against them. He is forever ice; she is forever fire. If he dares touch her, he douses her flames… he kills her light.

Kami, he hates comparing her to fire. Mostly because he realizes that there is an obvious challenge with flames: they can warm…

But they an also _burn_.

That brought up another peculiarity: he, the boy who lived for the cold, longed for her warmth.

His Karin centric thoughts plague him until he finds her. He, predictably, finds her playing soccer on a field. It's the same one where he had fallen atop her the other night, and he doubts the location is coincidental.

Logic and all forms of propriety demand that he leave, right this instant.

His emotions scream to approach her.

He then wonders just when, exactly, he started letting his emotions control his actions.

* * *

"Am I in trouble?" Karin's face scrunched slightly as she asked, as if already preparing for rebuke.

Toshiro scowled. "Yes."

After gauging his level of irritancy ('_High, definitely high'_), she smartly chose to avoid his prying glare. "Well in that case, I think I should leave now and go think over what I have done. If I could have my ball?" She brought her arm out in expectance.

His glare sharpened and the soccer ball remained firmly in his hold.

She rolled her eyes. In hindsight, she hadn't really expected that to work. If it had, she probably would have lost all respect for her best friend.

She stared at the black and white ball longingly. It had been in her hands mere moments ago. How could she have let him steal it so easily?

He sighed in defeat when he recognized the look in her eyes and promptly handed her the coveted ball. "_Now_, what on earth made you think it was okay to discuss our… association… with Matsumoto?"

"That!" Karin's hands shot up in exasperation. "You are too scared to even use the _word_ relationship." Irritated she twirled and began to stomp away from the white-haired boy. Part of her departure attempt was due to her frustration; part of it was because her cheeks were burning from having brought up the topic herself.

Not terribly surprisingly, his arm shot out and stopped her. His grip on her wrist was firm. Said grip tightened slightly as he murmured her name.

She _really_ hates it when he says her name like that. It makes staying mad at him awfully difficult.

"You know why I can't act the way you want me to."

Karin growled at his attempt at an justification. "No, I really don't. _Nobody_ is here. _Nobody_ was on the field the other night—"

"That's not the point!" Toshiro yelled, incensed. That jitteriness she noticed so long ago in the library reappeared. As if noticing himself, Toshiro crossed his arms over his chest to stop his fidgeting.

'_Kami, what is with this guy?! I swear he'll be the death of me!'_

"Well then, please enlighten me oh knowledgeable one!" After that (characteristically snarky) comment leaves her lips, she turns on her heels to face him. The rotation inadvertently puts her body treacherously close to his; now, the top of her head lies just under his chin.

Toshiro, as usual, is the first to calm down and lower the volume of their conversation. "Karin…I can't…" He stumbled over his words, still not sure of exactly what he wanted to say, "I can't think straight when I'm around you. It is unbeatably _maddening_." As soon as the words leave his lips he winces. He cursed the fact that her presence robbed him of his typical articulacy.

She is half through taking a step back away from him when he stops her (both with his arms and his words). "I… when I'm doing something for you… I don't care about the consequences at all. I am willing to do anything (to risk anything) to be with you. And _that's_ the problem. My utter selfishness has already and will continue to put your life in danger."

She turned her head upwards in order to connect their lines of sight. Her voice was soft,

"Embracing your emotions is _not_ selfish—"

"It is when it's against the laws of Soul Society." He can't last long against her when she uses _that _voice (the one that is understanding and vulnerable _and so utterly heart wrenching_) so he hopes his warning will be enough to kill the conversation.

It isn't.

"They don't have to know about us." Karin countered. Her quiet whispers make their way into his mind and tease him relentlessly with their possibilities.

Inwardly, Toshiro curses the logic Karin and his fukotaichou seem to suddenly possess.

As if sensing his retreat into his thoughts, Karin brings her right hand to his shoulder while she places the left softly against his cheek.

A furious blush makes it make its way up her neck when she realizes her boldness, but she refuses to back away.

Toshiro's head is whirling. The point of contact between the two is sending sparks right up is spine.

As the hand on his shoulder starts a soft trek down his chest he curses his lieutenant, colorfully. He has a feeling Karin has learned more than just a few of Soul Society's laws from the effusive woman.

Her eyes are dark. wide and deep. He's drowning in them—the two stark seas of black ashes.

At this point, her lips are breath away from his, he is shaking from self-restraint, and his hands are bruising his elbows in an attempt to keep his arms off of her.

When she whispers next, he feels her breath mingling with his. "Nobody has to kno—"

He cuts her off with a kiss.

He wishes he'd had the restraint to make their first kiss soft and gentle. Instead, it is rough and powerful and dominating and he's not sure how or when, but his hands are gripping her waist and pulling her even closer. Just like last time, she fits _perfectly_ into him. Her warmth permeates his very being. He doesn't know why he has never tried this before. It feels so good. Enjoyable. _Addictive_.

After the initial shock washes over her, she smiles and reciprocates. Then they're both fighting for dominance, because she is Karin and he is Toshiro and they both _thrive_ by turning everything into a game.

Eventually, they stop to catch their breath. At this point, they've both won. They're both panting and their hearts are racing (one in sync with the other). All the while, he keeps her locked in his arms and in his gaze.

Still slightly out of breath, he leans his forehead onto hers. "We will have to be careful. Quiet. _Subtle_."

At his meaningful look she huffs, "Hey! I can be subtle!"

He raises a brow. "You possess the subtly of a hurricane."

She pouts for a brief moment. Then, she sticks her tongue out at him and he _really_ wishes he hadn't.

"I'm sure _I_ can control myself… chibi-kun," She says with mock-innocence, eagerly awaiting his reactions to both her actions and the moniker.

Unfortunately, she never gets the chance to gauge (and enjoy) his indignation because piercing screams shatter the moment.

The screams are _loud_ and _violent_ and _screeching_ and ricochet harshly against the trees lining the field.

It takes a while for Karin to realize that the screams are coming out of her.

At some point, she had toppled over.

Pain. _So much pain_.

It shoots through her, from everywhere. She doesn't even know where to hold, where to press down, because her body is shrieking from everywhere. '_Stop, stop, stop!'_ Her arms are grasping anywhere they can. '_Stop!'_ It feels as if she is exploding from the inside out and her skin is on fire and her organs are clenching and her head is thrumming and her eyes can't see anything but a mishmash of colors and then…

There is nothing and she is consumed by black.

* * *

Toshiro is the epitome of composure in the fourth squadron hallways.

His breathing is calm and controlled. His posture remains immaculate as he stands adjacent a pristine wall.

Nobody can tell that internally, his in utter chaos: a state that has plagued him since he stormed through the squad doors, carrying an unconscious Karin Kurosaki.

His heart clenches at the memory. He had been about to dive in and steal another kiss from her when she suddenly collapsed onto the ground, with her hands scratching and clawing at every part of her body.

'_And her screams…' _

He had never heard anything like them. The horrific sounds of her pain echoed in the hallows of his mind, continuously reminding him that he had been powerless to help her.

At the time, warrior instinct had taken over his body. Emotions were put on hold. He was quick to knock her unconscious and shunpo her to over to Fourth Division for treatment. Whatever it was, fourth would fix it.

There was no other alternative.

She'd be fine.

Toshiro was so engrossed in his thoughts that it had taken three calls of his name from Isane to garner his attention. Receding from his mind, he looked at the lieutenant apologetically. She smiled sympathetically and spoke, "Hitsuguya-taichou, Unohana-taichou has finished looking over Kurosaki-chan. She is resting now and taichou is still in her room. She asked if you wouldn't mind entering and answering a few questions so she can better determine what caused Kurosaki-chan's condition?"

Toshiro only nodded in agreement. He didn't trust himself to speak just yet.

He turned the nob anxiously, the cold metal doing nothing to calm the ice prince.

When he finally opened the door and recognized Karin's even breathing, he let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding.

He immediately looked towards Unohana for a summary of Karin's situation. "For now, she is sleeping. I healed the scratches she inflicted on herself. They were _very_ deep, captain. What happened, it must have been incredibly painful if she didn't realize the damage she was doing unto her own body. The cause of her pain, whatever it was, resulted in her spiritual pressure being sent into a frenzy. It appeared, reappeared, and then flickered in and out. The consequential fever has calmed down, as have the fluctuations. Once more, she no longer has any reitsu. The actual cause of what happened is something I am still unsure of, unfortunately."

Toshiro looked at the older captain and nodded his head in appreciation. "Thank you for everything, Unohana-taichou."

Unohana smiled at the young man's tone. Mentally, she thanked Kami that he was letting another person past his frozen walls. She was so worried that they had lost him after the Hinamori incident, but this girl… this girl had saved him. Whether the Gotei knew it or not, they owed much to the girl sleeping peacefully on the bed.

Her response was just exiting her lips when it was interrupted. The prone body before them had jolted upwards.

"Miss Kurosaki!" "Karin!"

Karin's eyes were wide, her dark pupils dilated. The girl's breathing quickly became erratic and her eyes stared, unseeing, into the wall across from her bed. Her hands clutched her head.

"NO!" Karin yelled. "No! No! No! _Stop!_"

Toshiro was quick to try and calm her down. He moved in front of her, pulling her hands away from her newly healed scalp. Still holding onto her hands, he spoke steadily in an attempt to get the frantic girl to look into his eyes. "Karin. Karin, look at me. What's wrong?"

She struggled in his grip. Her responses were incoherent jumbles of words, varying from whispers to screams. Despite his acute hearing, he was only able to understand some of what she was struggling to convey. "…No… forgetting… can't forget…her..."

Toshiro, despite his mounting worry, tried to keep his voice calm. "Who, Karin?"

Her incoherent protests continued for a mere three more seconds before she stilled and fell forward onto Toshiro's shoulder. Her cheek fell against his shihakusho, unaware of the drying blood that still persisted on the black fabric from her previous episode.

Her last mumbles warbled their way onto his neck and Toshiro frowned in confusion.

Her voice had been lower than a whisper, but he had heard it. He was certain, absolutely certain.

Her final word before losing herself to unconsciousness was _"sister"_.

* * *

"Yes, I remember Yuzu. What a stupid question Toshiro, how could I forget my own sister?"

Toshiro ignored the jab at his intelligence. Something was wrong with her and he was going to figure it out.

'_But how?'_

The whole situation just didn't make any sense. The frenzied Karin had yelled that she was forgetting someone (a female someone if that was what the "her" was referring to) and then he was sure that she had whispered sister.

'_Hyorinmaru, I don't know what to do.'_

The usually silent dragon only responded with,_** 'Look through your memories, Toshiro.' **_

Memories? But Karin only had one sister and remembered her perfectly well. This was… confusing, on so many levels. Who else could she be referring to?

Then, a memory of the night they fought about his departure flashed into the forefront of his mind.

'… _**I can't believe how selfish you're being! I helped you deal with Hinamori's injuries for weeks and now that I need your help with Ichi-nii you're just leaving me to fend for myself!? Don't you get it? Something is seriously wrong with him! Something terrible happened when Ruki-nee left!" **_

"_**Something terrible happened when Ruki-nee left!" **_

"_**Ruki-nee!" **_

'_Of course!' _Toshiro was quick to test his suspicion. "Karin, do you know who Rukia Kuchiki is?"

Karin's blank look was all the confirmation he needed.

* * *

"She has forgotten lieutenant Kuchiki, a strong older-sister presence in her life. From what I've gathered, she doesn't remember Kuchiki at all. Not a single memory."

Toshiro recited his findings to the fourth squad captain robotically, hoping his current stoicism would somehow make the older woman forget that the two had so casually called each other by their first names and that he had so easily taken her into his arms in order to calm her down.

The woman nodded and claimed she would look into the situation further. After checking the sleeping girl's vitals, she turned to leave; however, she spoke before exiting the room completely.

"Captain, anything I see in these rooms is confidential. It is for the knowledge of my patient and myself only. I am not permitted to disclose any personal matters or suspicions to anyone outside of these rooms."

Toshiro visibly relaxed at the older woman's reassurances.

Their secret was still safe.

* * *

Ichigo entered the building and was automatically assaulted with a familiar reiatsu. Not pausing for even a second, he rushed forward in its direction.

'_Could it really be her?'_

His mind is buzzing with questions and memories.

He reasoned that Rukia would know where Karin was. That was _it_. That was the sole reason he was moving as fast as he possibly could towards her reiatsu.

'She's being held captive.' He reasoned. 'That must be it. She would never stay here of her own free will.'

"…_**without your powers, you are useless to me."**_

He tried to shake the memory away.

'_She saved Karin—" _

"_**You would never raise your blade against me." **_

'_She saved—"_

"_**He was the one who was so utterly blind…"**_

'_She—"_

"_**Your feelings…are not reciprocated"**_

""_**What did you think Ichigo? That I would give up my entire world for you? That I'd be by your side forever? That we'd share a life together?"**_

"_**You do realize that what we had is a partnership. That is all it is…That's all it was."**_

"_**Your connection to our world is now…terminated."**_

Memories assaulted Ichigo, and he was losing the will to defend her against them.

He kicked open the door which such a force it hit the wall and shut again; the brief lapse in time between opening and shutting was just enough for him to enter the room.

And then he saw her.

Or more specifically, he saw the back of her.

She was lying on a bed, facing away from him. A large bed. She was a small person. One small person. Why would she need such a large bed?

His loud entrance was more than enough to signal that someone had entered the room. Seeming unsurprised at the raucous, she slowly turned sat up in the bed while letting the covers fall to her waist.

He refused to trace the silk lining her body with his eyes. He absolutely refused.

She frowned when she recognized him. Then she rolled her eyes when she caught his gaze, not even bothering to reach for the white blade sheathed on her bedside.

Her voice tore open the silence. "I would ask you to leave, but I'm assuming your going to ignore my request. Seeing as you're still as uncouth as ever."

Her tone was sharp yet blunt, freezing and scorching at the same time. Her indifference only served to fuel his anger. It triggered the memory of every single iota of pain he had felt after she had broken him.

"_**Break her." **_

Before he knew it, he was on top of her with one hand strangling her delicate throat while the other was busy tossing her Zanpakuto to the furthest corner of the room.

Regardless of her precarious position, she did nothing but stare back at the man's yellows irises with practiced indifference. Despite the pressure on her trachea, she scoffs,

"Well. In that case, sate whatever lust you have then leave. Don't bother me again."

A mixture of anger, disbelief, and hurt courses through his veins.

He flips her over beneath him (he hates her eyes, he can't stand looking at their blank gaze anymore), presses his mouth against her ear and whispers harshly, "You think that I stormed Soul Society because of _lust_? You think I underwent hollowfication because of _lust_? You think that I risked my_ life_ for you because of _lust_? I did it all because _I love you_!"

"_Love? _As in present tense? Kami, you are really a new level of pathetic." Her voice is somewhat muffled because her face is pressed against the sheets. Regardless, he hears her loud and clear.

His grip turns bruising, and he find himself enjoying the blue marks forming on her pristine skin. He likes the idea of hurting her… marking her. He pulls her back by her hair, so that her back twists at an odd angle and she is now facing him. Their eyes meet, one pair aloof and the other raging.

He growls, "Even if I have to fight you within _an inch of your life_. You. Are. Coming. Back. With. _Me_."

For the first time in their encounter, Rukia's face disposed of its indifferent façade. Her expression morphed into something vindictive. Her supple lips smirked and she spoke in a sickly sweet voice.

"Would your sentiments change," she smiled cruelly, "if I told you I was already taken."

It takes a moment for her words to register—for the meaning behind them to register. But when it does, all Ichigo can see is red.

He shakes her violently. "You're fucking _lying_!"

He's turns her body so its completely facing him one more. One of his hands is still tangled in her ebony locks and the other is squeezing her petite shoulder.

Her malevolent expression persists and he nearly flinches when she brings both of her delicate hands on top of the one he has clutching her neck. Her fingers start tracing the skin on his arm and it _burns_.

"Can't you sense him Ichigo,"

And even with his limited reiatsu sensing abilities, he does. He sees another's reiatsu all over her.

He grits his teeth.

"_**Who?! I'll kill them! I'll kill **__**her**__**!"**_

"_When_?" He snarls.

She just continues to smile at the fury he's withholding behind his clenched teeth.

"For _months_. Just this morning he had me…" She brings her mouth to his ear "right in this very bed."

"**Red! Red! Red! Make her BLEED!"**

"I'm happy here. We haven't done anything to your world. Luppi was a wildcard, never planned. We won't do anything to your world, so leave us both alone."

And then she says it.

"I love him."

* * *

_Red_. All he can see is red. It's blinding his vision. She was _his_… his and his alone. How dare someone touch her? He'll fucking kill them. Rip them to shreds. _No one_ is allowed to touch her.

'_She's mine'_

'**She's ours.'**

'_How dare she leave us!'_

Ichigo, so absorbed in his anger, lets black crawl over his sclera and join the yellow irises…

And does nothing as he feels Hichigo surface and take over his body completely.

* * *

The grip on her shoulder tightens to the point where she's bleeding. Red seeps into the linens and creates hideous dark splotches on the fine fabric.

"Heya _Queen_! Long time no see!" The voice coming out of the teen hero is skewed, off-pitch.

Her malicious smirk returns into one of indifference. "I take it you are going to be just as unreasonable as he was." It's more of a statement than a question, since they both know the answer.

He grins and sign songs, "Maybe. But I'll tell you one. Big. Difference!" The parody of Ichigo brings his mouth to her ears, his lips press against her skin as he speaks. "I'm not as incompetent as dear Ichigo. The bastard's scent is _on _you. Not _in _you."

Her indifferent expression dissolves and is replaced by a deep frown. He feels her tense and that is all the confirmation he needs to know that he is correct.

'_Silly, silly Queen. You can't lie to me.' _

He smiles wickedly as he brings his face away from her neck and faces her directly.

"I should thank you, dear Queeny, I should," at the flicker of confusion that passes through her deep eyes, he elaborates "You're the reason I'm here, don't cha know?!"

His voice alternates in tone as he speaks, now adopting a playful story-telling nature. "Ya see… he was willing to give up everything for you, even his life. There was Mr. Hat and Clogs—a great fellow, you see. He told King that there was only one way to save his precious Queen."

The creature's smile took up the entire bottom hemisphere of Ichigo's face, "Ichigo took it and he…got… ME!"

The beast shrieked with laughter.

Then, his eyes took on a more menacing glaze. His voice lowered,

"I was born from his desire to become stronger… his desire to bring you back by his side. You don't understand _you stupid wench_, I crave power and strength and control" He growled, "But I am constrained by his desire to defend you. And the Old man _always_ took King's side." His voice was steadily climbing higher in pitch. He snarled, "Together, they locked me up in a cage, threw away the key, and left me to rot! Only calling me when poor dear Queen was in trouble! He refused to let me hurt you…" The creature smiled. "But not anymore. He _wants_ to hurt you Rukia-chan. He wants you to scream and plead and beg for his mercy. You _broke_ him Rukia, and it was so, _so_ easy to escape from a broken cage."

He pulled her body flush against him and snickered.

"I can't _kill_ you… because it might consequently break me… but I can _hurt_ you… because right now_, King wants me to_."

* * *

Toshiro listened to the steady beeping of the machine adjacent the occupied hospital bed.

Each beep of the machine (an 'electrocardiograph' according to Mayuri) was a reminder that the girl in front of him was going to be perfectly fine.

His gaze shifted from her unto the space above her body. He observed that the door to her room was closed. Noting this, he softly put his hand into hers.

'_You are going to be perfectly fine.' _

In hindsight, the stray thought was very stupid; it welcomed the fates to play their wicked games.

What happened next was very much a blur to the young captain.

Unohana and Isane lieutenant surged in.

There were loud shouts and lots of words and screeching sounds and so many people and machines racing in and out of the room.

Toshiro could only process one thing out of the havoc that whirled around him.

The beeping had _stopped_.

'_No…'_

"Everyone excluding Hitsugya-taichou, please leave."

'_No… no… this is a nightmare.' _

"I am so sorry, Toshiro-kun. We did everything we could."

'_**I empathize, Toshiro.' **_

'_NO!'_

His eyes burned. This couldn't be happening! No, she was here. She had to be! She was alive. She had to be alive! She was with him this morning. She was smiling this morning. She was in his arms this morning. She was…she… she wasn't…

At some point he had begun shaking her body; all control lost.

He screamed at her to wake up.

He begged her to open her eyes.

He sobbed and told her he was so sorry.

And then her body started to dissolve, the spirit particles disintegrating.

He clung desperately onto her fading form, beseeching for Hyorinmaru to do something… _anything_ to bring her back to him.

Then she was gone.

And he was left starring miserably at the hands that had lost her.

His eyes were wide in horror and anguish. His heart was torn; grated to fragments. His mind was blank. His eyes strung. He felt nothing but pain. It wrenched his insides and pierced his being to the core. He couldn't handle this, this pain was all consuming.

It hurt.

_It hurt so much and so horribly_.

* * *

Unohana stood at the far end of the room as the sole witness to the young captain's grief. She looked on sadly as the wetness on his cheeks evaporated. His eyes hardened…

As did his heart.

Unohana knew that this time… this time he was lost to them forever.

* * *

An alarm sounded through all of the Seireitei.

Every shinigami stiffened.

They knew what that alarm meant.

All captains, lieutenants, and seated officers raced to the First Division.

The blaring sound signaled a break in;

Muken had been invaded.

* * *

**At least 15 reviews ****and the**** next chapter ****will be up!**

* * *

**Constructive criticism is appreciated! Also, feel free to shoot me pairings you guys want to see and interactions you guys want to see! Even though I can't always manage it, I do find it an awesome exercise to try and incorporate the bits you guys want into my storyline!**

* * *

**A/N: DON'T KILL ME! I'm so sorry, but I needed Toshiro's mental state to be grief crazy for the rest of the plot to make sense! (I may have had this in mind from the beginning…)**

***Dodges the glares and projectiles thrown by furious readers.***

**But trust me, you will want to read the next chapter... finally, ****Rukia's storyline will be revealed! **

* * *

Review Responses and Preview for Chapter 9 are below!

* * *

**REVIEWER RESPONSES! (Warning: contains hints towards next chapter content)**

**+ UltimateBlackAce**

Thanks for the summary advise! oh no, if you really liked the hitsukarin you may be sad after this chapter! Also, remember, it was not necessarily Rukia making the Gargantas! Regarding the other espada, you'll see in the next chapter ;) I actually figured out the power thing! I won't be revealing it until the next, next chapter though! Don't worry, I haven't given up on it yet!

**+ Ashes2Ashes11**

I am super fickle and after playing with the plot am potentially thinking of maybe making it hitsuhina, just because so many people have PM'd me asking about when Hinamori was coming up! Uh oh, if you love Rukia, you may be throwing rotten veggies at me after this chapter :$ Ulquiorra's relationship with is revealed during the next chapter! The Grimmjow's student bit is revealed in the next chapter as well :P Awww I am actually super grinning/blushing at the praise, thank you! Thanks also for the summary advise!

**+ scottusa1 **

Thanks for spotting the mistake! Rukia's plot is going to be revealed in the next chapter, so stay tuned! Thanks so much for your idea! It actually triggered the idea for how I decided he could gain his powers!**  
+ Gothic18/crystal**

LOL yes I'm alive! Omg I'm jealous that your bf shares your ff obsession. I'm too afraid to tell anybody :$ ! Hopefully the ages thing is cleared up in the next chapter! I'll definitely take you up the mistake offer!**  
+ D**

Don't be too offended, but I'm anti-Byaran (I'm actually anti Bya-anyone that isn't Hisana) :P Lols I usually count one reviewer as one review, but I'll count this one as two ;P No comment on the hypotheses, you'll find out in the next chapter ! I know you said you prefer hitsukarin but don't give up on the story until you read the next chapter ! Thanks for the summary advise! Thanks so much for the idea, it helped me create the method of him gaining back his powers! You made a great point with the Rukia bit. Lols Hope you enjoyed the UraYoru teasing Ichigo bit! : ) **  
+ PhantomWolf1499**

Thanks for catching the mistake!**  
+ 16 **

OMG why didn't I see this review yesterday when I sat starring at my computer for like three hours piecing together the plot! DANGIT : ( Thanks so much for the support! My phone plane sucks, so I'll probs communicate by PM : ) **  
+Hellzbutterfly **

AHHHH IM ACTUALLY SMILING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW! That is the nicest review I have ever gotten :D Thank you so much! I'm a female : ) I've always had a problem with commas :P I either use too many or not enough, I'm really hoping on fixing that though! I think I agree with you on the chad/tatsuki bit! I was super into them after they were a side pairing in a super ichiruki fic I read, but now I'm definitely leaning towards Chad/Isane. My taste in pairings is beyond fickle :P Between you and me, chapter 1 is my favorite too! I had initially planned on the flower theme to continue throughout the entire fic but alas, I got lazy :$

**+Blackrose **

Hmmm tatsuki and renji… that could totally work! I'll see if I can write them in! I had initially hoped for tatsuki to have a bigger presence in the story, but unfortunately that's not where the plot took me. However, I am considering a sequel and she will definitely have a bigger part in that if I decide to go with it!

**+Guest **

YAY! Tears of joy when I realized I had reached 100 reviews : ) You can review once per chapter! : )

**+Fadedlies **

Thanks so much for your review!

**+Uzuki-chan **

Don't worry, in the next,next chapter, his behavior will be explained!

**+Mtmeye **

Thank you so much for the review!

**+Cupcake-Lover-1374**

Thanks for the review! Stay tuned!

* * *

_**Preview of Chapter 9:**_

**Chapter 9: Of Martyrs and Messiahs **

"**I wish I cared about you less. It would make hurting you so much easier."**

"**You're growing quite… attached… to her."**

"**She needs to become strong. That way, she can kill them all for what they've done."**

"**We have a final proposition…" **

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**Thank everyone for your reviews; you guys are what motivate me to keep posting new chapters! 12 reviews for the next chapter!**


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